“Will you ask me even if I tell you not to?” I mutter, shoveling in a quick spoonful.
Damn. She was right. This ice creamisfucking delicious, so at least there’s that.
“Yes.”
“Then go right ahead.”
“What did Sofia say to you?” she carefully asks, licking the edge of her spoon. “Before we left the restaurant tonight?”
My shoulders tense. “It honestly doesn’t matter.”
“Please, tell me,” she pleads, unraveling my resolve with her puppy-dog stare. “You said you’d be more open about this stuff. Actually, you promised you would.”
“She said—” I swallow hard. “She said sometimes she wishes we had never dated. That it would make it so much easier for us all just to be friends again.”
Her eyes go wide, a gasp of air slipping through her lips. “She didn’t.”
“She did.” I give her a tight-lipped smile. “Three years, Harper. I was with her for three fucking years, and she wishes it never happened?”
She drops her spoon into her bowl, body shifting to face me full-on. “I’m really sorry.”
I take a deep breath, contemplating how much I want to share with Harper tonight. I’ve never really opened up about this shit before. I’ve told Taylor some, but there’s only so much you can share with your older sister.
“You know,” I murmur, throwing caution to the wind. “She’s the only person I’ve ever been with.”
“You mean ...”
“Yes, Harper.” I roll my eyes, one corner of my mouth tugging up. “I mean, she’s the only woman I’ve ever had sex with.”
“I knew there was something evil about her,” she mutters, stabbing her spoon into her ice cream, jabbing at each individual gummy bear. “How could ... how could she just betray you like that?”
“It was a long time ago. And while she might want to forget that we were ever together, I don’t.” I take another spoonful of my own ice cream, waiting for the chocolate to melt on my tongue. “I spent three years of my life with her. It didn’t work out, but it still fucking happened.”
“How did she even end up with your best friend in the first place?
“Freshman year, when she went off to Dayton, I guess we weren’t doing so great. She told me that I wasn’t ‘providing for her emotionally.’ I don’t know, I thought everything was fine, but it wasn’t.”
She stabs another gummy bear. “So she just ended things?”
“She came to visit me near the end of the school year to tell me it was over.” I wince, remembering that soul-crushing conversation. “But she and Danny didn’t get together until months later. They grew closer after the breakup, I guess. And I didn’t want to hold them back, so I gave him my blessing to go for it.”
“But he knew how you felt?” she huffs the question, indignant. “That you weren’t over her back then?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“Yeah ... yeah, he knew how I felt,” I admit, scooping up the last bites of my dessert. “And now, two years later, things are still fucking awkward between us. That’s what tonight was about, Harper. I just ... I wanted to take a step in the right direction. Get some normalcy back in our friendship.”
“Why are you fighting so hard to keep this friendship going, anyway?” she asks, stacking our empty containers together on the center console. “Danny, he just doesn’t sound like the greatest friend.”
“At times, he hasn’t been. But I grew up with the kid.” I run my fingers through my hair, pushing back the discomfort. “And he’s a part of my family now, so I can’t just let him go. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not really the greatest at making friends in the first place.”
Her lip twitches. “You don’t say?”
“He’s always stuck up for me. He’s a social guy—an extrovert—he could have left me in the dust a thousand times, but he never did.”
Her brow crinkles, button nose scrunching. “What do you mean?”