Page 114 of Spring Tide

“You know our athletic trainers always err on the side of caution.” He shakes his head, expression slipping into a blank slate. “I can’t risk that happening here.”

“I’m normally always on your side, but I honestly don’t think I can condone this.”

“That’s fine.” He cocks his head to one side, tone flat. “I don’t need your permission.”

“Luca, come on,” I plead, emotion clogging my throat.

His nostrils flare as he attempts to turn away from me, breaking any last semblance of eye contact. “I think I’m finished with this conversation now.”

“Please?” I give him one last chance. “If you won’t talk to your coach about this, then I’m gonna have to contact Jaqui Nerrie myself.”

“Like hell you are.”

“I’m trying to look out for you here,” I say softly, carefully, willing him to understand how serious this truly is. “You have so much going on right now, I’m worried you’re not thinking clearly.”

“I’m thinking perfectly clearly.” He takes a deep, shuddery breath. “And I know that if you contact anyone on my team, you and I are done.”

I reel back, stomach dropping like a lead weight. “What?”

“If you go to the team’s athletic trainer behind my back, then I don’t see how this relationship can continue.”

My heart beats faster and faster, pounding in my eardrums now. I bite the inside of my cheek, forcing myself to be patient with him. He’s hurting and he’s panicking, that’s all.

Everyone says things they don’t mean when they’re in a bad mental state.

“You don’t really mean that,” I say, my shaky voice betraying my doubts.

“I don’t need you interfering in my life, Harper.” His tone is eerily calm—patronizing almost—as if he’s talking to a child. “I’ve done just fine on my own for twenty-two years, okay? Stay out of this, I’m begging you.”

“I don’t think I can do that.” I keep my gaze on his face, worrying at my lower lip. “We can figure this out together, and everything will be okay, I promise.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” His cool, careless façade finally cracks. “You’ve spent your whole life living in some sunshiny alternate reality, pretending everything is just peachy. Because for you, it always has been. Meanwhile, I’m stuck down here in reality with the rest of the world. You know, that place where people have real fucking problems to deal with.”

“Oh.” His words sting. Like a hand on a hot stove, they burn me without warning. “Silly me, I thought you said I was perfect.”

“Harper ...”

“Is that really what you think of me?” I let the hurt wash over me, pull me under, drown me so completely. “That I couldn’t possibly understand you?”

“Sometimes it seems that way.”

“I see,” I croak, caught off guard by his admission. I had no clue he felt this way about me. In fact, before today, I was pretty damn certain he felt the opposite. “I suppose it’s nice to know how you really feel. Do you even care that I love y—”

“Harper,don’t.” He pins me with a harsh gaze, cracking me into a hundred tiny pieces. “Don’t say something you don’t mean.”

“Why on earth would you think I don’t mean it?”

“Because you fall in love like it’s a goddamn hobby. And I really, really can’t handle hearing something that’s not real, not right now.”

Shame and embarrassment cloud my vision, shaking me out of the numb sort of daze I put myself under. “You don’t take me seriously at all, do you?”

“I-I’m sorry.” He scrubs a hand over his face, propping a fist under his chin. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I think, right now, I just need space.”

Space, space, space. The word ricochets inside my head, sending me into full-blown meltdown mode.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I need some time to figure things out on my own, without you around.”

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