Page 64 of Beautiful Mess

There’s a line starting to form behind me, so as much as I’d rather stay here all afternoon and talk to her since we haven’t been able to see each other, I know I can’t. Grabbing the cupcakes, I meet her gaze and say, “I want to see you soon.”

Her smile curves her lips. “Trust me, me too. Your son being in town is really messing this up.”

Yes, it is.Not for the first time, I’ve considered telling Cole about me and Grace. He’ll find out eventually anyway, since I can’t see myself walking away from her. Depending on how long he stays in town, if he knew, it would allow me the ability to see her more freely.

The urge to lean over the counter and kiss Grace’s mouth before leaving is strong, but somehow, I’m able to restrain myself. I’ve thought a lot the past week about what it would be like to be out in the open with Grace. To hold her hand in public, press my lips to her forehead without caring who saw us. Loving her freely, showing her off the way she deserves. There’s something inherently thrilling about keeping it a secret, but that thrill fizzles out quickly when there’s more than just physical attraction at play.

It’s becoming abundantly clear that I want more with Grace.

I want the flirting and the chemistry and the mind-blowing sex, but I also want sleepovers and dinners and weekend mornings. I want people to know loud and clear that I’m hers.

But that’s also something we haven’t really talked about. Sure, I’d like to think we’re on the same page, but I really don’t know. Grace very well could not want anything more with me. She may be fine with what we have currently. As much as that thought leaves a bitter taste in the back of my throat, I won’t know for sure until I tell her how I feel.

Hopefully, that’s something I’m able to do soon.

Grace is right about one thing… Cole coming to town threw a wrench is everything.

After I pick up Willow from school, we head back to the house. She informs me that she wants to take a shower and put on a fresh outfit before we have to go to dinner. Apparently, the one she wore to school isn’t good enough for her mom’s birthday. She also let me know that she found a “really cool” tutorial on YouTube for a hairstyle she’s going to try to do herself, but that she may need my help. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she’s probably her best bet at getting the hairdo to look presentable. You’d think after nine years of having a daughter, I’d learn how to do her hair better, but that’s not the case.

I can do ponytails and very basic braids, and that’s about it.

Surprisingly, when we walk through the door, Cole isn’t vegging out on my couch, nor does it look like a pigsty in the living room either. He strolls out of the bathroom as I set the cupcakes on the counter in the kitchen, clearly having just taken a shower. He’s coming with us tonight, and I think it’ll be good for him to get out of the house.

“Damn, those look good,” he murmurs about the cupcakes as he passes through the kitchen toward the laundry room.

“Don’t eat any until we’re at dinner!” Willow calls out as she heads toward her room.

Cole saunters back into the kitchen, coming to a stop across from me. “You get those from Grace’s bakery?” he asks.

“Sure did.” I nod, grabbing a water from the fridge and cracking it open. “She told me you guys are meeting for coffee this weekend.”

“Yeah.” Cole smiles, and I already know I’m not going to like what comes out of his mouth next. “She’s looking really good these days.”

Gritting my teeth, I twist the cap back on my water before setting it on the counter and folding my arms over my chest. “She mentioned it wasn’t a date.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, that’s what she said, but we’ll see.”

My jaw pops from how hard I’m biting down. “We’ll see, what, Cole? You’re not really in a place to date, don’t you think?”

His eyes flick to mine, smile crooked and cocky. “Why not? Emily’s done with me; she made that crystal clear. Better to move on, right?”

Something that will never cease to amaze me about being a parent, even thirty-odd years later, is how strongly you can love your child and want to wring their neck at the same time.

“I think you should focus on yourself for a while, Cole,” I grit out. “Your marriage blew up in your face, and the divorce papers haven’t even been filed yet. Instead of thinking about dating, you need to take care of that and get your life sorted out.”

“Why can’t I do both?” he huffs, brow wrinkling.

“Because, Son, it wouldn’t kill you to be alone for the first time in your life.” I swear, I’m going to be full gray by the time Cole heads back home. It’s like talking to a toddler sometimes with him. “You cheated on your wife. That’s a big deal, and you’re acting awfully flippant about it. Not to mention, you and Grace clearly didn’t work out before. Why would a relationship between you two work now?”

“That was college. We’ve both grown up since then.”

“Have you, though?”

Cole chuckles. “God, you’re in a mood today,” he teases. “And besides, who says anything about relationship?” He waggles his eyebrows, and it makes my jaw clench.This is so fucked up.“Grace could be fun. I bet her body’s even sexier now that she’s had kids.”

“Don’t you dare talk about her like that,” I growl before I’m able to stop myself.

Confusion mars his expression as he watches me. “What’s your problem?”

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