Page 40 of Beautiful Mess

“What if you’re wrong, though?” I ask before I can stop myself, my voice cracking, betraying the intense way I’m feeling.

“We could be,” Charley says as she stands up and walks over to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pulling me into her chest. She rests her cheek on the top of my head as she goes on. “But you’re never going to know unless you try. Give it a chance. Let him take you out on a nice, expensive date, bang the Daddy, have all the leg-shaking orgasms, and give Conway the chance to prove himself to you one way or another. Whether that’s proving he’s interested in taking this further or proving that he’s only after spanking your fine ass again.”

Laughter bubbles up my throat as I blink, letting a tear spill down my cheek.

Charley presses a kiss to the top of my head before cupping my face and wiping away the tear with her thumb. “Either way, you’ll never know for sure if you don’t try.”

“Thank you, guys,” I murmur, as I look between the three women I can’t imagine living without.

Gemma and Georgia get up and join Charley in giving me a big, tight bear hug that I didn’t even know I needed until now before we leave the room and get back to the party. Music is playing from a speaker in the corner, and as I’m grabbing myself another drink, I spot Conway on the other side of the room. Willow and Blakely are with him, and the three of them are holding hands as they dance to the upbeat pop song that’s playing. It’s one I’ve heard Blakely play dozens of times in her room. The girls are giggling, throwing their heads back as they spin around. Conway’s smile is so big, the creases around his eyes deepen, and I can’t seem to look away. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him dance or look so carefree before, and there’s something so breathtakingly beautiful and raw about getting to witness it in a room full of people.

I think back to what Charley said. She’s right—they’re all right, and I know it—but the idea of opening myself up to somebody, while knowing there’s a chance I could get hurt again, terrifies me. It’s paralyzing, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to get past that fear.

The song ends and the girls run off together, still hand in hand, and I look away before Conway has a chance to find me watching him. Shortly after, Everett holds up his champagne glass, clinking the side to get everybody’s attention. Like always, he only has eyes for Gemma, and it makes my heart soar for her. That man loves her so fiercely and openly.

“Gemma, since the very minute you walked up to me on that pier, I knew you were it for me. Seeing you that day, talking and laughing with you, even if only for a short while, was everything I needed at that moment. Moving my entire life to Blossom Beach was scary, but I knew this town held something special and important for me, even if I didn’t know what.” His voice breaks as he wipes away my sister’s tears. “It quickly became clear that something was you and Sutton.”

With that, he looks toward my nephew and wraps an arm around his shoulder, tugging Sutton into his side as I watch more than hear him whisper into his ear, “I love you, buddy.”

Sutton looks like he’s doing his best to not cry right alongside his mom, but his eyes get misty despite his best efforts.

“You two and Rosie are my entire world,” Everett says before looking over at all of us. “Who decided to sleep right through this whole speech,” he announces with a chuckle that’s contagious before returning his gaze to his fiancée. “I cannot wait to have the honor of being your husband, Gemma, and I plan to spend every single day for the rest of our lives showing you how madly in love with you I am, and how lucky I am to feel your love.”

As he continues, I think about how all I want is a love like they share. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, since I was little. I want somebody who declares to an entire room, proudly, how in love with me they are. How they can’t imagine a day without me. I’m ready to find my person. I want it so bad it hurts sometimes, especially because the older I get, the more I wonder if a love like that is even in the cards for me. I wonder if maybe I’m simply not destined to experience a true, great, all-consuming love.

For the first time since Everett started giving a toast, I allow myself to shift my eyes to the man across the room who I’ve been trying to avoid. My heart leaps into my throat, skipping a beat, when I find him already watching me. Leaning a shoulder against the entryway, with his hands shoved into the pockets of his navy-blue slacks, Conway’s dark, intense eyes lock onto mine, sending a shiver down my spine.

Was that a coincidence? Did he just happen to look over at me at the same exact time I looked at him…or was he watching me this whole time? A swarm of butterflies flutter inside of me, making it hard to breathe, but instead of the kitty butterflies he normally gives me, it’s higher. Different.

As soon as everybody starts to clap, I look away, joining them, but I spend the rest of the evening thinking over what he said to me in the bathroom, the way he kissed me, and everything my sisters and Charley said in the room. And after I get home and get the kids to bed, relaxing in my bed with a glass of wine, it hits me what that feeling was when Conway was watching me…

Heart butterflies.

Eighteen

Conway

“What are we doing here?” Grace asks, a gentle blush staining her cheeks while I help her out of my truck. “And what’s in the backpack?”

Her hand in mine is soft and warm, and I use it to my advantage, lacing our fingers together as I lead her into the outdoor amphitheater. “Patience, Sin,” I drawl, eyeing her as she rolls her eyes, trying to appear annoyed, but the curl to her lip gives her away.

I haven’t been able to stop staring at her since I picked her up a little bit ago. Something that made driving safely a challenge. The short, olive-green long-sleeve sweater dress she’s wearing hugs her body in a sexy but tasteful way, and paired with the knee-high toffee-colored boots and the bouncy dark blonde curls hanging down her back, I can’t look away.

This is my one shot to impress Grace and show her that I’m not the guy who’s only after sex with her, like she adamantly believes I am. I’m not too proud to admit that, prior to starting whatever this is with Grace, Iwasthat man, but I’ve also always been extremely upfront with women about that. It’s been years since I’ve planned a real old-fashioned date.

“Have I mentioned I don’t like surprises?” Grace grumbles as we find a spot on the lawn.

I chuckle under my breath while unzipping the backpack and retrieving the blanket I stashed in there. Once I lay it on the ground, I gesture for her to sit as I do the same. “Poor Grace,” I deadpan, biting back the grin wanting to slide up my face. “A man who planned a nice, thoughtful date for her. You’ll be okay waiting a little bit longer, I promise.” Again, she rolls her eyes, looking away as her hair almost hides her face enough to shield her smile. “Should you plan the next date, then?”

“If there even is a second date,” she says, tone full of sass.

“Trust me, Sin. You’ll leave here tonight wanting a second date.”

“You’re awfully sure of yourself,” she teases.

Planting my hand beside hers on the blanket, I lean in, bringing my lips to the shell of her ear. “I already told you, Sin.” My heart races at the way her breath hitches and a shiver rolls through her body. “That’s the difference between being with boys and men. I know what I bring to the table. I’m confident in what I do, and that includes the confidence I have in my ability to plan a night tailored specifically to you and the thingsyouenjoy.” Pulling back enough to look her in the eye, I add, “So, trust me when I say, therewillbe a second. And if I have any say in the matter, a third, fourth, and so on.”

Peering up at me, her lips part like she’s trying to find the words to respond, but before she can, somebody’s voice takes over the loudspeaker as people file on stage, taking their places with their instruments.

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