Page 37 of Beautiful Mess

But it’s more than that. There’s a niggling of something that feels a lot like fear in the far back of my mind that I’ve done my best to ignore this week, and I just don’t know what to say to her. That I’m obsessed with her? That I can’t stop remembering the way her hair smelled as she fell asleep in my arms? That I laid awake in my bed that night after leaving hers, unable to sleep because my bed suddenly felt too empty? I can’t say any of that; I’ll sound like I’ve lost my mind.

She’s all I think about, and I don’t get it. I don’t know what to do, and I’m only making it worse by not saying anything at all, but I don’t want to disappoint her. I’ve done my fair share of disappointing women in my life—I’ve got the two divorces to prove it. Grace deserves more than a half-ass attempt and somebody who isn’t even sure what he wants. It’s no secret to anybody that she wants a man to share her life with.

She wants something I’m not sure I can give her.

Then, like a bucket of ice over my head, my son pops into my mind. Yet another person in my life I’m avoiding being honest with. Grace is his ex-girlfriend. It doesn’t matter that he’s moved on and is married now; it doesn’t change the fact that I’m sleeping with—and obsessively thinking about—his ex-girlfriend.

Grace’s head tilts back as she laughs at whatever her sister is saying and, once again, I’m hypnotized by the sight, by the sound. Suddenly, all thoughts of Cole vanish, as I can do nothing but watch her.

For a man who prides himself on being mature and straightforward, I’m sure acting like a fucking coward. I had no problem telling her she’s mine in the heat of the moment, but until I man up and tell her how I feel, I have no right to claim her like that.

As if she can hear me thinking about her, Grace turns her head, eyes finding me from across the room, and it steals my breath away. Holding my gaze for a long moment, she doesn’t smile, even when I do, but she doesn’t scowl either. If anything, the way she’s looking at me is more indifferent than anything else, and it hits me like a blow to the chest.

“Here you go, man,” Davis says as he hands me an ice-cold Bud Light. “Fuck, it’s like the whole town is here tonight.”

I grunt by way of a reply before bringing the bottle up to my lips, taking a swig as my eyes never leave Grace.

“You gonna go talk to her?”

My gaze slices to Davis as I furrow my brows. “Who?” I ask obtusely.

He chuckles, eyes glinting with mirth. “Grace,” he replies. “You know, the one you can’t stop ogling.”

“I’m not ogling her,” I scoff.

“Like hell you’re not.” Nudging me in the arm with his elbow, Davis asks, “You tap that yet?”

“Watch your mouth when you’re talking about her,” I growl before I can stop myself.

Clearly taken aback by my reaction, Davis holds his hands up, a smirk on his face. “Whoa, calm down.” He huffs out a laugh before watching me for a moment, like he’s trying to figure me out. I haven’t told any of the guys about what’s happened between Grace and I, and I hadn’t really planned to either, but I think I just showed all my cards without meaning to. I confirm as much when Davis’s eyes widen, and he steps closer to me. “Holy shit, Conway. You did hook up with her, didn’t you?”

My jaw pops as I clench my teeth, and my gaze flits over to where Grace is still standing with her sisters before looking back at my friend. Lips pressed together, I nod tersely.

“Oh, fuck,” he mutters, an amused look on his face. “Do the other guys know?”

“No, and I’d prefer to keep it that way,” I sneer. “Keep your fucking mouth shut.”

“Why?”

“Because Everett’s fiancée is her sister, dipshit, and I wouldn’t put it past him to let it slip accidentally.”

Davis says something, but it’s nothing but background noise to my ears when I spot Grace excusing herself from her group. She weaves through the crowd, heading toward a hallway to the restroom.

Now’s my chance to talk to her.

Cutting Davis off mid-sentence, I pat him on the arm and say, “I’ll be back,” before following her as quickly as I can without looking obvious. My pulse is roaring in my ears as I hurry down the hall, slapping a hand on the door seconds before Grace closes it. With a gasp, she jumps a little before spinning around, gaze meeting mine.

“What the hell are you doing?” she hisses, looking around like she’s making sure nobody saw us.

“I want to talk to you,” I mutter.

Her brow wrinkles. “Oh,nowyou want to talk? Well, no thanks.” Stepping farther into the bathroom, she flips on the light switch, and attempts to shut the door, but she can’t because my hand is still holding it open. “Let. Go.”

“No.” I push my way into the small space, shutting and locking the door behind me.

Grace lets out an exasperated huff and throws her hands in the air. “What the fuck do you want, Conway?”

“I’ve missed you,” I admit, my heart jumping into my throat, but if this is going to work, I need to lay it all out for her, be direct. I’ve done enough avoiding.

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