Page 36 of Beautiful Mess

I’m fucking ridiculous.

“Hey, girl,” I whisper as I plop down in the seat and set my bag down on the floor between my feet. “Didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”

“Me neither.” She laughs. “Conway got held up at work with who knows what, so he asked me if I could take Willow tonight.”

Because he’s avoiding me.

Cool, cool, cool. Love that for me.

“How are you and Tad?” I ask her quietly as we watch the girls warm up through the glass.

“Oh, we’re good,” she offers. “But Tad’s great-grandmother passed away earlier this week, so we’re flying there this weekend for the funeral.”

“I’m so sorry, Nicolette. Please give Tad my condolences. Where do you have to fly to?”

Turning her head, she smiles at me. “Thank you, I know he’ll appreciate that. And New Jersey; it’s where he grew up.” She runs her fingers through her hair, breathing out a sigh before changing the subject. “How are you? How’s the bakery?”

“The bakery’s great,” I reply, ignoring the pang in my chest at hownot greatI feel today. “Business is good; we’re keeping busy.”

“How’s working with Conway on the PTO been?” Nicolette giggles, probably knowing firsthand how it is to plan anything with a man like Conway.

Feeling more than a little awkward talking to her about him, I chuckle. “Oh, you know how he is,” I murmur. “Insufferable and stubborn, but we’re managing.”

“Gosh, I still remember how shocked I was when he told me he’d take my spot on the PTO this year.”

“I was definitely surprised when I saw him at that first meeting,” I muse. Nicolette was on the PTO with me last year, but we didn’t work together on much of anything.

“I told him over the summer that I wouldn’t be able to do it this year because my work schedule is just too hectic right now.” She laughs. “I thought I’d fallen and hit my head when he nonchalantly told me he’d sign up instead. Apparently, he wasn’t there for a lot of school stuff with his son when he was growing up, and he wants to be better at being more present with Willow.”

Well, that’s annoyingly sweet of him.

I’ve always wondered if Nicolette knows that I dated Cole, because the very few times she’s brought him up to me, she refers to him as Conway’s son, like I have no clue who he is. Although, it would make sense if she didn’t know. She and Conway weren’t together all that long, and Cole doesn’t make a habit out of coming back here often. Last I heard, he was married to some woman he met a few years back, and the very few times I’ve seen him in town over the last fourteen years, I’ve done my best to avoid him. Not because I’m still pissed off that he cheated on me, but because he just isn’t somebody I care to keep up with. We have nothing in common. Well, other than the fact that we’ve both called Conway “Daddy” at one point in our lives. Oops.

I like Nicolette. Well, as much as one can like somebody they only ever see when their kids play together. I wouldn’t say we’refriends,per se, but we’re friendly. I don’t mind her company. We’ve had to spend a lot of time together over the years, with Blakely and Willow being besties. Our conversations typically revolve around the kids or surface-level stuff like work and town gossip. She’s older than me—at least in her forties—and she’s not from here originally, so I don’t know a whole lot about her, other than she’s Willow’s mom and that her and Conway were once married for a very short time. I’ve wondered more than once why they got divorced, but I’ve never asked her. That feels too personal for what we are, and I’ve certainly never asked Conway.

What a fucking douchebag he is, bailing on his daughter’s gymnastics practice to avoid me. Gosh, I’m such a moron. He has sex with me, tells me how beautiful and sexy I am, acts all possessive when I go on a date with somebody else, thinks he has a right toclaim me, and then can’t even talk to me afterward? Fuck him. The night of the auction, I had it right; I deserve somebody who treats me like a priority, like I matter to them. Like I’m worth the freaking effort. I deserve somebody who takes me on proper dates, who texts me when they’re thinking about me during the day. Somebody who is proud to show me off, who can love me out loud. Not that I’m in love with Conway, or that we would’ve gone there at all, but still.

When is it going to be my turn? I deserve my fairytale ending, dammit. My Prince Charming is out there—or at least, I hope—and he’s certainly not Conway Levine. It was foolish of me to hop into bed with him knowing that. I was only setting myself up for failure, and now here I am, wallowing in the consequences of my actions.

When will I fucking learn?

You know what? Right now…that’s when I’ll learn. Fuck him, fuck his lack of communication, and fuck his stupidly skilled dick. Conway is not the end all, be all. Surely, there’s another man out there who can make me come as hard as he can, who actually wants to talk to me. Who wants to treat me right and take me on dates.

I don’t need him. And honestly, his loss. I’m a catch.

Sixteen

Conway

As if we’re connected by some invisible force, my gaze finds Grace the minute I walk into the room, and the organ in my chest picks up speed. She looks stunning in the baby pink dress she’s wearing. The straps are thin, showing off her delicate shoulders, and it’s short, but not too short, showing off her smooth, tan legs. Strappy black heels wrap around her feet, making her legs look longer than they really are, and her hair is pulled neatly into a rather high pony that looks impressively bouncy. Never thought I’d refer to a ponytail as bouncy. The smile she’s giving her sister lights up the whole area, and when her angelic laugh reaches my ears, all I want to do is go over there and do whatever I can to make her laugh like that some more.

A pat to my back has my gaze leaving Grace and coming to Davis, who I came here with. “Gonna grab a drink,” he says, gesturing toward the refreshment table. “Want something?”

“Sure, a beer.”

Davis grins and shoots me finger guns. “You got it, boss.”

Tonight is Everett and Gemma’s engagement party and, if I’m being honest, I considered not coming at all. In fact, had Davis not offered to pick me up so we could ride together, I probably wouldn’t have. Not because I’m not happy for Everett and Gemma, but because I knew I’d have to see Grace, and seeing her makes me feel like shit. It’s been days since I went over to her house, and we haven’t spoken. I know I should’ve reached out to her by now, but I couldn’t bring myself to. Every time I thought about sending a text message, it’s like my fingers stopped working. And besides, I know she has her kids this week and is probably busy. I’ve been busy too.

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