Lincoln: …

Me: Can we focus? We can talk about Lincoln’s foot fetish at a later date. This is an emergency.

Walker: An emergency involving…rats?

Me: Well, yes.

Camden: Will it involve meat?

Me: What? Why would it involve meat? Are rats carnivores?

Ari: Hmm. Not sure about that, actually.

Walker: I’ll look it up.

Ari: Of course you will.

Walker: I’m trying to be helpful!

Camden: Google says they eat both plants and meat. Not sure that helps.

Walker: Simp.

Ari: Flag on the play.

Lincoln: Why are we referencing football penalties now…

Ari: Parker influenced me.

Walker: What does my brother have to do with anything?

I huffed and Sloane side-eyed me. When I didn’t say anything, she went back to her book.

Me: CAN WE FOCUS.

Ari: He’s using shouty caps. I think he wants our attention.

Me: …

Me: Now that I have your attention.

Ari: It’s a fleeting moment so take advantage of it.

Me: I’m going to use rats to get Sloane to move in with me.

Ari: …

Lincoln: …

Camden: …

Walker: …

Walker: Not to be judgy—because really, to each their own. But why does Sloane have a thing for rats?

I stared at the phone incredulously, rereading because somehow I’d gotten off track in my messaging.

Me: What? She doesn’t have a thing for rats.