Page 3 of Queen of Ever

‘You keep saying that, but I don’tfeelanything,’ I said, dropping my hands in frustration.Whatever magic resided in me, I couldn’t feel it.I didn’t even know what it was supposed to feel like.I thought maybe there was a bit of something—a sort of hum in my chest, like I’d swallowed a handful of bees—when I concentrated really, really hard, but I couldn’t figure out what to do with it.When I’d used magic in Dreadhold, it had all happened so fast and with such anger that I could hardly remember doing it at all.

Galacia had been trying to teach me for a couple of weeks—and I saytryingbecause I was a terrible magic student.I could draw a single drop of water from the air, sometimes, but that seemed to be the extent of my abilities.So how the hell had I managed to freeze Tarian back at Dreadhold?

But she didn’t lay all the blame at my feet, even though I probably deserved it.She said it was because of the lack of time we’d been allocated around all the other things I was expected to learn now that I was Seelie.It was apparently not the traditional way to learn magic, which Galacia had brought up with the king, and he had apparently ignored.I would have much preferred full-time magic training to dancing lessons, even though I picked up the steps to dancing far quicker.Galacia might be prickly, but my dance instructor was ridiculous, and I felt stupid twirling around an empty ballroom in shoes I could hardly walk in.

I knew very little about my magic instructor in general.She looked to be in her early forties, but there was a wisdom in her eyes that spoke to ages beyond those her skin showed.She spoke very little about herself, scolding me for not concentrating if I ever tried to ask her personal questions.There was a crystal-clear barrier between us as teacher and student.

‘You need to clear your mind.Don’t tell the water what you want it to do.Feel the magic, feel it connect to the water, then lead it, almost like leading it in a dance.’

That made no sense to me at all, especially bringing dancing into it because my dance instructor constantly berated me aboutnotleading.But I closed my eyes and tried to do as she said.I tried to feel the magic in me, tried to feel the water, but I only felt that familiar prickle of cold under my skin, creeping through my veins, reminding me that the only reason I was even here in the Summer Palace failing to control my magic was because Tarian had betrayed me.

‘Imogen, focus!’Galacia said.But how was I supposed to just forget?How was I supposed to put that all to rest, to move past it when it hurt as if he had done it only yesterday, when I hated him for doing it, when I hated myself for missing him?It made me want to cry, to scream, to run from everything.It made me wish none of it had ever happened, even as a part of me recoiled at the idea of never having met him.

A blast of cold shot out of me.I felt the moment it left my body, felt the wave of exhaustion that followed.I heard the sigh before I opened my eyes to take in the damage.By my standards, it was actually an improvement.I’d merely frozen the pool of water, rather than half the room.

Galacia walked towards me, pity in her eyes.That pity only stoked my anger further.‘Magic feeds on our emotions.You look like a princess, but in here,’ she said, poking a finger gently at my chest, ‘a storm rages.You cannot run from your feelings and there’s only so far you can push them down before they explode.’

She took in the frozen pool, a thoughtful expression on her face, before finally turning to me again.‘That’s enough for today.Your homework is to think about what I’ve said.Next time’—she quirked an eyebrow at the frozen mess—‘I think we will begin with some meditation.’

Meditation?I suppressed a groan.It felt like I was moving backwards, and I had absolutely no interest in meditating on my feelings.Ignoring them sounded far less painful than working through them.

I let out another sigh and left the now empty room, heading for my next lesson, which would hopefully be more successful that this one had been.But let’s face it, it couldn’t be much worse.

Chapter 2

Tarian

‘YoucannotcrosstheSunder.’Arun said the words with the unyielding patience of someone trying to reign in an unbroken horse.Calm, but without room for argument.He had repeated the phrase so often now that it might have been easier to just carve it into his forehead.He always stood in doorways when he said it, like his body was a physical barrier to support the words, and I had the impression that he was preparing himself to wrestle me into submission if the need arose.

I suspected that moment was drawing closer and closer.

‘I could,’ I retorted, fists balled, full of restless energy as I faced him down.‘It’s just a river.’

‘You and I both know that’s not true.’His patience was aggravating.Surely, he was as frustrated by this repetitive conversation as I was.If he would only start yelling at me, I could yell back, and then I’d have an outlet for the aggression boiling and churning inside me.‘If you go after her, you’ll only make things worse.’

‘Not for me.Nothing could be worse than this incessantwaiting.’

‘You’d make it worse for her.’This helpful contribution was thrown in from behind me, where Ethan, Imogen’s half-breed friend, was sitting in one of the library armchairs, tutting at one of the scrolls Arun had presented us with.‘These reports make it sound like she’s having a grand old time over there, all feasting and lessons and new gowns,’ he said, his words sounding reasonable, but that lift of an eyebrow saying something he wasn’t.‘Dumping her into the middle of a war probably comes a distinct second to that.And it hardly seems like a good way to make her forgive you.’

‘She is unharmed,’ Arun added evenly.‘Every time we do this, you see evidence of that.If these reports are going to keep provoking you, I’m going to stop making them.’

‘That isn’t your decision to make,’ I snarled, but he only raised his eyebrows.After a few seething moments of holding his challenge, I finally submitted, stalking back to my chair and slumping into it.I seized another of the reports and stared at it, taking in the information in snatches.This one looked like it came from a servant and listed the different tutors Solas had engaged for her.Magic and etiquette anddancing.Like he was grooming her to be—I severed the end of the thought.I was supposed to be settling my rage, not winding it back up.

‘And don’t forget that she hates you right now,’ Ethan continued, flicking the scroll back onto the table and brushing his white-blond hair out of his eyes.‘Embarrassing her by rolling up at the Seelie Palace and demanding she be returned to you like a piece of property is much less endearing than you think it is.If you intend to beg, on the other hand...’

I only glared at him, not quite having the composure to admit he was right when my instincts were gnawing at me with serrated teeth.My temper was so close to the surface these days, enflamed by this constant, nagging sense that I should be somewhere else, somewhere across the thin ribbon of the Sunder River.Some nights it was so bad that I walked in my sleep, treading the corridors and stairwells and balconies like a ghost, constantly seeking, grasping, following the pull of instinct that I could barely suppress while I was awake.

‘I have to do something,’ I said finally.

‘You are doing something.’Arun clearly didn’t think it safe enough to vacate the doorway yet, continuing to contribute from his position as a barrier.‘You’re monitoring the situation.’

‘Youare doing the monitoring.And Imogen isn’t a situation.’

‘No, she’s a person.Which is why you need to think carefully and act with restraint.You’re keeping tabs on what’s happening to her, and nothing has given us any reason to suspect she isn’t being treated with respect and consideration by the Seelie Court.If it were otherwise, there might be cause to do something drastic, but for now she is safe while we find a diplomatic way to get to her.’

‘And how long is that going to take exactly?’Ethan added, leaning forward in his seat now, hands clasped together on his knees.

Arun shot him a frown shadowed in warning.‘These things take time.’

---