Page 10 of Never Nix Up

We’re walking along the street in Wyrten Bridge, and we’re holding hands.

Less than half an hour ago we were so studiouslynotholding hands that I can’t believe how things have changed.

She squeezes, once, twice, and I squeeze back.

“Where to?”

“Yours,” I say decisively. “If we’ve got Trisantona’s protection, I want to kiss you again.”

“We could do that right here,” she says, but when she clocks my expression, she squeezes my hand again. “It’s okay, we don’t have to.”

It’s a quiet evening, midweek, and no one’s really around as we walk along by the shops. I glance over to where music is coming from the pub, across the river, and there’s a distinct lack of people outside.

“Fuck it.”

I turn and pull her towards me, using the edge of her hood to drag her closer.

She pauses before our lips meet as she leans down. “Fuck it?”

“Fuck it.” And I press my lips to hers. They’re soft, and they open as she deepens the kiss, pulling me flush against her, her arms going around my waist. I let my fingers cup the back of her head, her hair soft beneath my touch and the last place I want to be is out here.

I want to be in her arms in a bed.

On a couch.

Anywhere but outside where people could burst our bubble.

She pulls back first, leaning her forehead against mine and breathing heavily. “That was…”

“Yeah.”

She huffs her laughter, and then fists her hand in my hair and tugs until our lips kiss again.

This time when we break apart, I’m the one breathing heavily. If my pulse had been fast before, now it’s thundering through my veins.

“So back to mine?”

“Yes.” I’ve been let loose, been set free—somewhat—and this means that I get to do whatever the fuck I want. And I want to do it somewhere that’s not filled with paintings of Trisantona’s nightmares. I make a mental note to do some significant tidying before Finn comes into my flat, and I’m surely getting ahead of myself because we haven’t done more than kiss… But she’s looking at me, and her pupils are dilated and fuck I want her.

I’ve always wanted her, even before I thought I could have her.

“Will you fuck me?” I’m surprising myself with my brazenness. I’ve surprised Finn too, I can see it in the silent inbreath that fills her chest.

She doesn’t answer straight away, just tucks a pink strand of hair behind my ear and drops a kiss to my lips again. “Do you want me to fuck you?” Her voice is low and it’s doing things to me in places that I’ve long abandoned.

I swallow and nod.

“How do you want me to fuck you?”

The question makes me pause, because I’m not sure. It’s not that I’ve never had sex before—I went to art college in Brighton, I’ve had plenty of sex—but it’s been a while and my tastes have… changed.

“Hazel?” Finn nudges my nose with hers, checking in. “Was that too much?”

“No, I just… I want you to take charge.” My words come out in a flood and once I start talking, I can’t stop. “Like, I know that you’re kinky, and I’mdefinitelykinky, it’s just I’m not sure exactly what I want to do or how and I think that we’d be awesome together and I really am up for everything and I—” I stop when she laughs. It feels cold in my stomach, and I take a step back.

“Woah.” She follows me immediately. “No no, I’m not laughingatyou. It’s just joy. Cos you’re so fucking adorable and I don’t quite know how I got so lucky. Now, not to make assumptions, but might you be a bit subby?”

I nod, my face flushing. “Yes.”

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