Page 27 of Nix and Tell

She looks worried, and I realise that Finn might be my friend. It’s a surprising revelation, and the more I think on it, the more I realise that I actually have a whole host of friends now: Vi, Hazel,Finn, Marla, Kit—when she’s not pissed at me—it’s more friends than I ever truly expected to have.

“I don’t think that it’s something that we need to actively worry about; there are arseholes everywhere.” I’m attempting reassurance, but Finn is as visibly queer as Kit, and there’s concern in her eyes that goes beyond being a good friend. “No one’s coming after us; the village wouldn’t have any of it Finn, I promise.”

Finn nods, running her hand through the lilac of her hair, fingers brushing against her fade. “Okay; you had me worried for a minute there.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes, and I could kick myself. I wish I had said anything now; the last thing I want is to make someone else feel uncomfortable. It’s bad enough that Vi’s on edge at the moment.

The rest of the day passes in relative quiet. I book in a couple of appointments for the following week—a trans lad wanting to get a suit tailored for his mum’s wedding, and a butch lesbian wanting to design a bespoke suit for her—and I try not to let my prickle of unease settle in under my skin. This is my home, my shop, and I’ll be damned if I let anyone throw me off-kilter.

20

Violet

Shadows dog my steps when I head to the abandoned church on Thursday night. It’s not Chlo, though I know she’d prefer it if I let her accompany me to Trisantona’s ‘temple’, but I’m not a child and I won’t be chased out of my home, especially when I haven’t done anything wrong.

Besides, I doubt that anyone would truly come after me whilst I’m under Trisantona’s protection. The most hostile nixes do is ignore me, or shoot me the occasional glare.

In return, I’ve given up pretending that I don’t see their scales.

There’s a myriad of colours, almost a progress flag’s worth of shimmering scales that colour the skin of the fae in my small village. I don’t stare—that’d be rude—but I’m not above a pointed glance if people seem a little too keen on jostling past me in the street. It freaks them out to know that I know their secret, and I can tell that they’re wondering what other secrets I’m learning.

Remarkably little, would be the honest answer.

Chlo does little bits of magic around me, but it’s usually confined to the bedroom, and it doesn’t seem any more powerful than the supercharged spells that I can now cast myself.

Trisantona, though… she’s fascinating. She’s learning as much about this world as I am, and having a mortal who can give her an insight into human ways seems to be a source of great fascination for her.

“You’re here!” she says impatiently as I enter the church. The floor seems to be moving, and I have to stop for a moment and close my eyes before it gives me vertigo. “What?”

“Thefloor, Trisantona,” I point out calmly. “I’m mortal, remember?”

“Urgh,” the goddess says, and I’m amused by how put out she sounds. “You humans miss out on so much.” But despite her complaining, there’s a shift in the atmosphere and when I open my eyes the floor is no longer moving, and I can make my way across to her.

“What would you like me to help with today?”

“What could you possibly helpherwith?” There’s deference to Trisantona in the voice of the woman who steps out from behind one of the columns.

Trisantona dismisses her questions with a wave of her hand, but the woman’s scales shimmer a dark, angry red, and she doesn’t retreat.

“I imagine that she’s as helpful as her dyke girlfriend.”

There’s confusion on Trisantona’s face. “What has Chlo got to do with embankments?”

“She’s using a slur,” I explain. “She’s trying to be insulting about the fact that Chlo and I are together.”

Trisantona’s confusion deepens. “But why?”

“I’m sure I don’t know; I quite like the word dyke, if I’m being honest.” I’m not lying; it’s been so long since I’ve heard it flung around as an insult. Most of my friends at university used it as aself-identifying label, and I don’t particularly like this woman’s attempt to sour the word.

One flick of the Trisantona’s hand, and the woman is dragged gasping out of the shadows to face her goddess. “Why are you like this?”

No matter how much I dislike her, I don’t enjoy seeing Trisantona compel the answer from the woman. It’s ripped from her lips with such reluctance that I want to turn my head away. “Why am I like this? We’re all like this.Youleft us. Forcenturies. We were left without magic in this world which actively tries to kill us. You say that your river has been abused? We’re river demons. A part of us has died every year since you left. Whole generations have been born, lived and died, without knowing who they were. Without knowing why we’re so angry, why we hurt so muchall of the time.” Her voice breaks on those last words and I hurt for her. “And Chlo goes and picks up with some mortal who getsyour blessingand what the fuck are we?” She is shouting now. “You’re supposed to look after us. And you didn’t. You couldn’t. But you could for her?” She spits in my direction, and I pull a face, but I understand her anger. I’d be pissed too.

There is a long silence, so long that I start to fear Trisantona’s response. I haven’t seen her demonstrate a particular affinity for patience, and this woman has been blunter than I think anyone has been with the goddess for years.

The woman stands, breathing heavily, and I almost forget the way that she spoke about Chlo.

Almost.

“I left you.” Trisantona’s voice is flat, and she huffs out a laugh that isn’t really a laugh at all. “Ileftyou. I was dragged behind the Veil forcenturies, never able to reach out to this world, never being able to feel the magic that once had been mine. And whilst I was gone, what did you do? You drowned people in my river.I can feel their souls,” she says when thewoman tries to speak, in a voice so terrible that I cringe away from her. “I never asked you for those sacrifices. I wanted joy, love, sex. Wanted my river to be awash with the vitality of life, and you ruined it.”

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