Page 13 of Puck it Off

"Yes, they can, and they will." Aubree beams like a proud goat mom.

"You seem awfully proud of their talent." I laugh, unable to hold it in any longer.

"You would be surprised at what those goats can do with the right motivation." By the look in Aubree's eyes, I don't doubt her claim.

"Sure, why not?" I concede, wiping away the tears forming at the corner of my eyes from laughing so hard. "What harm can a small goat's head do anyway?"

"Once again, Maggie, you have no idea the power of a goat on a mission."

"Alright then, load up your meanest goats and let's have some fun." That is definitely not a sentence I thought I would ever say.

It could be worse—the little bastards could turn on me and headbutt me in the crotch instead. Luckily, I'm pissed enough at Zander, Owen, and Reece to risk damage to my lady bits for a chance at making them suffer for the pain they caused me. Besides, it's not like I'll be using my pussy or my ass or even my mouth with anyone anytime soon.

twelve

Zander

"Isitjustme,or does this goat look feral?" I hesitantly take the goat's leash from Aubree as she assigns everyone in the class their own goat.

"Don't talk that way about Tipsy Hooker. She's a sweetheart." Aubree bends down to praise the little furry demon. "Aren't you."

"Then why does she have that evil look on her face?" Reece holds out his hand to accept his own goat's leash from Bowen, his eyes never leaving my goat.

"My goat? What about your goat?" I point at Reece's goat, that has a smile on its face that could rival Heath Ledger's as the Joker.

"What the fuck?" Reece's eyes shift to the furry little bastard at the end of the leash he's hold, as it starts to chew at the waistband of his gray sweatpants.

I've always heard that women are attracted to men wearing gray sweats, but I didn't realize it crossed species.

"Easy, guys. We're here for Maggie. Besides these tiny goats are harmless." Proving his point, Owen takes a leash from River, only to have the goat move in close and personal to his groin, with a quick butt of its head. "Fuck—that hurt." Owen grimaces, looking around the room at the rest of the goats who seem to be calm and gentle with their human yoga partners. "Did we get defective goats?"

"Nope." Aubree pops the p before turning her back to us to finish passing out the goats to the rest of the students.

"You three are so fucked." Kyson laughs, following behind Aubree as he, River, and Bowen, walk their surprisingly calm goats through the classroom.

"This is a bunch of shit." Reece hisses, as he plays tug of war with his sweatpants and the goat. "Why are our goats such dickheads?" He pulls the waistband of his pants out of the goat's mouth so hard the little creature stumbles backward, but not hard enough to cause it any damage. Or so I thought. The goat dramatically falls to the ground, bleating like it's been shot. "What the hell? I barely touched it."

Aubree and Maggie come rushing over to check on the little faker. Once they deem the little devil fine Maggie turns to glare at us. "If you can't be nice to the goats, you need to leave the class."

Shit, we can't do that. Our whole purpose for being in this class is to win Maggie back.

"It's fine. It was just a little accident. wasn't it, Reece?" Owen bends down to help the little goat actress back into a standing position, triggering a bout of jealousy from the goat he's currently assigned to.

We might be pro athletes with lightening quick reflexes, but nothing has prepared us for these sneaky little shits.

"Fuck." Owen grunts as his goat butts its tiny head into his groin again causing everyone in the class, including Maggie to burst out in laughter. Even Reece and I can't help but laugh, until our goats decide to join in the fun and headbutt the both of us in our junk.

"All right class—that's enough." Maggie composes herself as she takes her place at the front on the class. "It's time to begin. Now remember, the goats can sense if you're uncomfortable, so try to relax and stay calm. If not, you might end up upsetting the goats like we just witnessed." Her lips curl into a slight smile, almost like she's trying to hide the fact that she's enjoying watching the goat attack us.

Which is fine by me. I'm willing do whatever it takes to keep her happy, even at the expense of my junk. But unfortunately for us, Maggie is determined to keep us shut out of her life and no amount of goat abuse to our bodies will make her change her mind.

thirteen

Reece

Three Months Later

Westillhaven'tfiguredout what made her change her mind about us, but all I know is I'm a wreck when we're on the road—when I can't be near her. The thought of her being with anyone else makes me sick—not that she's dating anyone. Even though she mentioned it at yoga class the other night, she hasn't been on a date that we know of.

---