Page 79 of Edge of Control

“Wait for me here.”

We both knew what I really meant by that.There wasn’t a doubt in my mind as to what I’d find when I finished talking to the property manager.

And, sure enough, when I came back to the lobby, it was empty. Theo was gone.

I’d let Nevermore go.

I’d proven myself a failure, a fool, and I’d have to live with that realization for the rest of my life.

Chapter 29

Theo Glass

He let me escape.

I almost second-guessed it. Almost stayed in the lobby, waiting for him to return. It would have been the right thing to do, but nothing about this series of events proved that I knew what the “right” thing was.

I’d broken his trust in me. I showed him who I really was.

He knew the truth. There was no running from that.

But I still could run from this fate. At least for the moment. I bolted, nearly knocking over a couple checking their mail. I ran out into the chilly street, down the block, past a busy bodega and a packed coffee shop. People likely thought I’d missed my train to work. Or maybe that I had robbed someone. Or maybe just that I wanted to get a morning jog in.

No one knew the real reason why my sneakers slammed into the pavement. Why my heart beat so hard it threatened to burst open inside of my chest.

Jace knew.

And I’d never get him back. I had lost the one man who’d been able to settle my fears and ease my anxieties. He’d given me hope, he’d shown me love, he’d made me whole again.

I’d never be able to hold him again. To kiss him. To laugh with him. To sleep with him.

That filled me with more dread than the idea of spending the rest of my life behind bars did. At least that made sense. It was the consequences of my own actions. But losing Jace and feeling this affected by it? That wasn’t something I had thought would happen. It wasn’t something I had seen coming. Jail time was always in the back of my head from the second I began my crusade.

Losing the love of my life was not.

Love of my life.

I’d never felt this connection with anyone before. I stayed away from dating men, but the few I had talked to never once sparked this kind of deep, unchained emotion inside me. My heart beat for him. My smiles widened for him. My entire being roared for him. I thought back to that first day I followed him to Chained, when I had saved him from being hit by that car. I never would have guessed that connection would have blossomed into something this powerful. I thought it had just been a physical attraction that drove me forward with Jace, but it had been so much more than that. He reminded me of the one boy—a high school crush I had as a freshman—who had been the only person to break through my barriers. That boy had saved me from being beat up by a group of bullies who had foundout I was gay. He stepped in front of them and took a punch to the face before he used his black belt in karate to fuck the other three guys up.

We had lunch every day for a month after that. He gave me his rare Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. He gave me his lunch when my father would send me with nothing. He’d make me laugh when all I did was feel like crying.

And then he started dating the girl he’d later go on to marry and have kids with.

That was the only other guy in my life I could say I’d fallen for. And the same bubbly, butterfly-filled emotions I got with him were the same exact emotions I’d felt with Jace.

And now, that was all dead. Ruined. Shot through the heart.

I stopped next to a trash can, vomit beginning to bubble up my esophagus. My chest felt tight. I sucked in a few rattling breaths. Was he going to just go to the police and tell them everything? Maybe he’d just given me a useless head start. Or maybe it was his turn to toy with me? The cat becoming the mouse. Was I ever the cat in this scenario?

Even with the cold morning air, sweat still beaded across my forehead, dripped down from my armpits.

I hadn’t even fully processed the fact that my father was behind this entire mess. If there was anyone to blame for this pain, for this turmoil, then it was him. He’d been behind my suffering since I was a child, when he’d take out all his stress and anger on me. It was fitting that he continued that trend well into adulthood.

And what was his involvement with Marielle’s death?Did he know that she was a victim of his blackmail ring? Why didn’t he do anything to stop it? To protect her?

I already knew the answer to that. Because he was the devil incarnate. He didn’t have a conscience. I doubted he even had a soul. He was a husk of a man, being controlled by the purely evil essence rotting away inside him.

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