Page 34 of Edge of Control

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!”

He thrust upward, slamming into me. His eyes rolled back. His body tensed as he blew inside me. I could feel him painting my guts. It was enough to throw me over my own cliff. I leaned up and held the base of my cock as it erupted. Shot after shot of cum sprayed across Jace’s chest, hitting his chin, getting on his lips.

It felt like it wouldn’t end. The pleasure was beyond intense. The world cracked in half, dropped me straight down to its flaming core. Nothing else mattered. Not the past, not the future. There were no sins, no guilt, no abuse. No villains, no heroes. Nothing but pure and unfilteredbliss.

Nirvana.

I collapsed onto Jace, hardly able to catch my breath. He kissed me. I could feel the smile against my lips. It made me smile. Made me feel much more than I was expecting.

That flush bloomed into something poisonous in my chest. Something lethal.

I stayed there for much longer than I should have, his swollen cock inside me, his arms wrapped around me. We were silent. My head was empty of worry, of anxiety. There was only peace. An addicting kind of calm. One I hadn’t felt in years.

“Damn” was the first word I spoke. “Never came that much before.”

“Yeah, me neither. You might be pregnant.”

“Hope you can afford child support.”

“I can make it work,” Jace said, still smiling, still inside me.

We went three more times that night before we finally decided to call it. By the time we left the bathhouse, the sun was already beginning to rise, the city that never sleeps welcoming us to reality with the warm blue glow of dusk.

Yeah, I thought to myself on the subway ride back home, the poisonous bloom taking root around my heart.I’m royally fucked.

Chapter 13

Theo Glass

I slammedmy head against the wall.

“Fuck!”

My bathroom wall was solid concrete. I hit my head again. The cracking sound made an echo in the room. The stinging pain was sharp. My brain felt like it’d been tossed into a blender. Stars burst across my vision.

I did it again.

“Fuck!”

I stumbled backward, leaned on the bathroom countertop. The room spun, representing the exact way I felt inside.

I’d made a grave mistake. Messed up in a way that would end me. I had no doubt about it.

The anxiety was severe. The panic was a brutal claw that sunk into my lungs and threatened to rip them right out of my chest. I had already downed a Xanax chased by tequila, and that still wasn’t working to numb me. It was asif I were caught out in a raging storm. I didn’t know what was the ground and what was the ceiling. I had no sense of what was right, only what was wrong.

I turned to look at myself in the mirror. Blood dripped down my forehead, over my nose. It reached my lips. I could taste it. Copper. Iron. Regret.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I had spent too long with Jace. Told him too much. I told him about Marielle.

How the fuck had she slipped across my tongue like that? I had vowed to never bring her up, to never tell anyone about her. Why? So they could pity a ghost? Only I could cherish her memory. My little sister, taking from me because of the twisted fucking monsters that all needed to pay.

And yet, there I was, lying naked with this man who was becoming something like a tumor. He was growing inside of me. Making me sick. Making me make bad judgment calls.

On the other hand, he was also the man who could calm these emotions. Somehow, someway, he was able to quiet the panic and dread that coiled inside me like a cobra waiting to strike. I had no idea how he did it, but he worked faster than the pills I took and the liquor I drank.

Why? Why did it have to be the one man who could end me?

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