Page 91 of Edge of Control

Fucking hell.

This was crazy. Was I crazy?

I’d shot and killed someone. Theo’s own father. And now, I was waiting for a serial killer to open his door for me and let me inside.

Yeah.

I’d fucking lost it.

The lock clicked open. My heart raced. Chest felt tight. Theo appeared, wearing gray sweatpants and nothing else. His tattoos were on full display, the hammerhead and anchor appearing to come alive on his chest. His eyes locked onto mine. A thousand words were said without either of us opening our mouths.

He stepped aside. I walked into his apartment, greeted by a purring Luke, who was none the wiser to the recent events.How nice must that have been? Living such a simple, innocent life. No question about what was right or wrong. Only about where the next meal and head scratches were coming from.

Theo cleared his throat. He leaned against the arm of the couch, hands in his pockets. “Need anything? Water? Tequila?”

“I’ll do the tequila, yeah.”

“I got you.” Theo left to the kitchen. I sat cross-legged on the floor, letting Luke climb into my lap and rub his head against me. The sounds of glass clinking and drinks pouring drifted from the kitchen. Theo returned, padding barefoot across the living room, two glasses full to the brim with tequila. I could smell it as he handed mine, spicy and woody. I took a heavy chug. The warm, golden liquid coated my throat. I took another drink, shaking my shoulders.

Theo sipped his. He moved back to his perch against the couch. “How’d it go?”

“Fine. They had some questions, but I think I answered them all. Explained how after I freed myself, I snuck out and took care of the other two men in the main area of the club. They also believed me when I said your father admitted to being Nevermore. They found dead crows in the freezer, which helped my case. He must have been storing them to continue fucking with you.”

“So that’s it? It’s over.”

“You tell me, Theo. Is it over?”

Theo knew what I meant. His head dropped in shame. “It is.”

“I can’t believe any of this is real. I still don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.”

“You are.” Theo looked out his balcony, the dim light from a floor lamp casting a shadow across his face. “My father was an evil man. He was responsible for the creation of Pressure Point, for my sister’s death. You did the right thing.”

“And not turning you in? Was that right, too?”

He didn’t answer that.

“Fuck, Theo. I can’t believe you were behind those killings. This is so fucked.”

He still didn’t answer.

“Do you not have anything to say? Are you going to make me regret ever meeting you?”

“No. I’m just at a loss. I made those choices, and I don’t have it in me to defend them. They were wrong. I’m a broken man, Jace. I can only promise you that I’m going to work every day to fix myself. To right my wrongs. To prove to you—and to myself—that I’m not a culmination of my past actions. That I have the potential to be someone completely different.”

“This goes against everything I believe in.” I shook my head. It felt like the world was crashing in all around me. I tried to focus on Luke’s soft fur against my fingers in a futile effort to ground myself. The low vibrations from his purrs helped calm me, but not by much.

I thought of my father. What he would think if he was still alive, if he knew what I’d done, the choices I’d made. He would have thought I was a fool.

Or maybe… maybe he would have understood? Aside from being a good man, he’d also been an extremely devoted husband. He tried to stick things out with my mother, no matter how dark the night got, no matter how bad her substance abuse became. He was one of the strongest believers in love.

Love…

I looked to Theo. What else could explain how irrationally I’d been acting over this? What other emotion could scramble thoughts, skew morals, blur consequences? Love was the ultimate filter. It painted the world in soft hues and rosy colors, making every decision appear like the right one so long as it brought you closer to that one singular person. Theo had cracked open the shell I’d erected around myself. He made me feel seen, feel whole.

And now, we’d been through one of the ultimate traumas together. Something that only cemented us further. Made our bond stronger.

I couldn’t turn him in. That was never an option. I understood that. As fucked-up as that was, I knew that deep down, I could never live with myself knowing that the man I loved was sentenced to spend a life behind bars like a caged animal, all hope for the future, for change, all of it gone. I couldn’t do that to him.

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