“And who’s supposed to stop you? From hurting anyone else?”
Theo chewed his bottom lip. Blood pearled on the pink skin. There was an odd, immoral reaction in my chest to reach out and comfort him like I’d done before. To tell him that it was going to be fine, that I was here.
I silenced that impulse, fought it down. I turned to the elevator door, trying to will it to start working again. What if Theo snapped inside the elevator? What if he wanted to tie up one last loose end before he was permanently locked up?
Goose bumps pricked at the back of my neck. I turned to face him again. “How? How could you have done any of this?”
“I’m a broken man. I’ve made choices that I can’t say I’m proud of.”
That got a twisted laugh out of me. “Seriously?”
“I understand how ridiculous that all sounds. But it’s true. I can’t make excuses, but I can beg you to please, please understand. I had a moral code I worked off of. I also had an end goal. I wanted the same thing you do, to bring down the blackmail ring and make these people pay. That’s all.”
“You killed them.”
Theo had nothing to say to that. He dropped his head, rubbed the back of his neck.
Again, I wanted to reach out and comfort him.
Again, I chastised myself. Foolish. I was being a complete and utter fucking dumbass. That was putting it lightly. Of course this would happen. I knew I was out of my league from the second I accepted the case, and Theo only proved that fact. How much more incompetent can you get than fucking the man you were chasing down? I was a complete and utter failure of a man. I had made a critical mistake. I let my guard down; I let Theo in. How had that happened? Ever since my last boyfriend broke me, I had promised myself to never allow anyone else that same power. And yet, that’s exactly what I’d given Theo. I handed him over the gun he could use to shoot me with.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“Is your name even Theo?”
“It is… but my last name isn’t Glass. It’s Rodriguez. My mother’s maiden name.”
“Fucking great.”
“I haven’t lied about anything else. I’m messed up, yes, but I’m also not a liar. I really meant it when I said I’ve fallen in love with you, Jace. As twisted and fucked-up as itsounds, it’s the truth. I never imagined this happening, but it did, and I can’t fight it or lie about it.”
“You can ruin it.”
“I know I already have.”
“You have.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You keep saying that, but have you apologized to any of the families you fractured? Any of the souls you took?”
Theo swallowed. Tears shone wet at the corners of his eyes. He gripped his elbow tight. I could see the circulation being cut off.
Stop. Just stop.
“If I ever got the chance, I would. I’d apologized. But I wouldn’t change my actions. I stand by my belief that I made the world a better place through my decisions. That’s all I wanted. It’s all Em would have wanted.”
“You could have volunteered at a nursing home, donated to charity, given out food at a food bank. There’s plenty of fucking shit you could have done to ‘make the world a better place.’ But you chose to kill those people.”
“I did…”
My heart raced as if I’d been hit with a massive dose of adrenaline. I looked back at the door, the light flickering above me, my reflection blurry in the dented steel. I hardly recognized myself.
“Fuck, Theo, fuck!”
“I know. If I could turn back time, just to make things right with you… You have to believe me, Jace. This situation is sick, but your love, your being, it cured me. It really did. I can’t fully explain how I feel when I’m around you, except just that I feelright. For the first time in years, I find myself feeling like I have wings around you. Like I can go anywhere, do anything, be anyone.”
“Wings…”