Page 61 of Edge of Control

“Hey, buddy. This the famous Luke I’ve been hearing all about?” Jace crouched down and gave Luke the head scratches he’d been looking for. He was rewarded with purrs that practically shook the floor. Or maybe that was just the panic that still threatened to turn me inside out. I felt like I was being flayed alive.

“It is,” I managed to get out through my tightening throat. Having Jace in my space helped ease some of the anxiety, but not enough. I walked past him into my living room. I put my hands behind my head and sucked in a few breaths.

Jace appeared behind me. He placed a gentle hand on the small of my back. I looked out my window at the darkening sky.

“Want to talk about it?”

I put the knife back in the bag.

But I’d been too slow. Halden had caught sight of it from the corner of his eye. He quickly rolled onto his back and shot off the bed. “What the fuck was that? Was that a knife?”

I swallowed. Should have been prepared. Everyone was more on edge after the news of Nevermore became public. But this was sloppy. It was a mess. And now, I was going to have to pay for it.

Possibly. There was still a chance I could talk myself out of this.

“It was nothing,” I said. He lunged for my backpack, but I snatched him, hitting him hard with my shoulder. He gasped and fell back against the bed. I was shirtless. I pulled my shorts back up before I tripped over them.

“What the fuck’s in your bag?” Halden’s coke-blown eyes were focused on my bulging backpack. “Kyler! Kyler, get in here!”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Halden’s roommate opened the door. He was a big guy, two-hundred-something pounds of all muscle. He looked at me, then at Halden, then at the bag. “What the fuck is going on?”

“He tried to kill me!”

I put my hands up, showing I was harmless. “That’s a lie. Your roommate tried to rob me.”

Kyler looked between me and his roommate, confused as fuck.

“Make him open his bag,” Halden said, pointing at the bag holding my knife, my wires, my feathers. “Do it.”

“Let’s see what’s in there,” Kyler said. He crossed his arms, blocked the doorway.

This was bad. Really, really fucking bad.

“I don’t think I can talk about it right now,” I said. “I just needed you here.”

I went to the couch. Jace followed me. He sat down next to me. I realized he constantly had a hand on me, some kind of anchor holding me down, keeping me from spiraling further into the abyss.

It was nice. It was what I needed.

The tightness in my chest eased. It didn’t feel like the crust of the Earth was slowly cracking in half underneath me. Like this entire apartment building was seconds away from being swallowed up and dropped into the pits of hell.

“I’m sorry,” I said to no one and to everyone.

“It’s okay. Whatever happened, you can work through it.”

“I’m sorry for dragging you here.”

“You didn’t drag me anywhere. Besides, I always secretly wanted to see where you lived. And I’m not disappointed at all. You’ve got a beautiful place.”

“Thank you,” I said, dropping my head back to look at the plain white ceiling.

“I know how it feels. When your brain betrays you like this. I get it. But know that it’s just a moment in time. It’ll pass. It always does. Just let the wave wash over you, but don’t let it drag you out, either.”

“I’m trying, Jace. But fuck, I fucked up. Ifeelfucked-up.”

“You aren’t. Nothing about you is fucked-up. You’re human, just like all of us. Sometimes—most times—it all boils down to chemistry. Your body is reacting to stimuli in a way that heightens everything around you, even the worry and the panic. It’s okay, though. They’re just emotions. Nothing that can hurt you.”

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