Page 22 of Aftermath

Subtly glancing around him, Austin sipped his beer and thought about the stupidest shit: who was gay and who wasn’t. When others looked at him, did they wonder the same? Probably not. He felt ridiculous. And self-conscious. He was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a gray button-down; nothing weird with that, right?

"This seat taken?"

Tilting his head, Austin saw a man watching him. "No. Go ahead."

The man was younger, probably by ten years or so, and he was…fine, he was attractive. Austin could admit that. Maybe a bit too boyish, though. Blond, blue-eyed, slender, and more cute than sexy—

What the fuck was going on with him? Austin found himself questioning everything, but at the same time, he was fairly accepting of anything new. He just wished he could understand it. He wanted something concrete to stick to.

"I'm Brian." The man stuck out his hand and smiled.

Austin nodded with a dip of his chin and shook his hand. "Austin."

Brian's smile brightened. "Nice to see a new face around here. But…you do look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?" His eyes raked over Austin's body, making him slightly uncomfortable. "Hmm. Married, are we?" He eyed the ring on Austin's finger.

"Yes."

Brian hummed and took a sip from his own beer. "Love is a bitch. I'm trying to get over mine."

"Really." It wasn’t a question. Austin was in way over his head, and he wondered if maybe he'd been out of the bar scene for too long. Not that it had ever really been his scene, but in his college years, he did go out occasionally—when his roommate had managed to drag him out.

"Yeah, so I should probably stop texting him." Brian sighed wistfully. "He's this broody kind of guy, bad-boyish with a leather jacket to match—the one you'll hopelessly fall for, all while knowing he just sees you as a casual fuck-buddy." Well, if there was any question about Brian's sexual preferences, Austin just received the confirmation. "I knew it wasn’t gonna last, and we weren’t exclusive or anything, but…" He waved a hand. "So, anyway, what brings you here? Meeting someone?"

Austin shook his head no. "Just wanted to go out for a beer." Or fourteen.

"You've come to the right place, then!" Brian's bright smile was back. "I'm actually a bartender here, but it's my day off." Facing the bar, he yelled to someone named Christina, and she appeared right away. "Honey, how about some shots for us?" He turned to Austin again. "What's your poison, handsome?"

Fuck beer, Austin decided. "Jäger, thanks." He'd go for bourbon, but that was meant to be savored. Not downed.

"A man's man." Brian winked. "I love it. I'll have tequila. Christina honey, you know what I like."

Soon, both men had shots lined up, and Christina had left the bottles with them. Not very wise, but whatever.

"Okay, I think I have you figured out now," Brian slurred and pointed a wobbly finger in Austin's face.

Austin chuckled and threw back another shot. His new friend could not handle his liquor, that was for certain. Granted, Austin was definitely drunk, but he could still stand straight. Brian was three sheets to the wind.

"You're married to a woman," Brian stated, and Austin nodded. "But you're not here for the cheap drinks. And I think—yes, I think you're bi-curious. Am I close?"

Austin smiled and shrugged, as if to say,"Maybe. Maybe not."

He honestly didn’t know, because there had never been anyone to tell him that a man couldn’t appreciate another man's good looks. He hadn't known that meant gay to some.

Over the years, he had found many men attractive, but that didn’t mean he wanted to fuck them. With the booze flowing, however, it was easier to confess to himself that sometimes he wanted to get so close to Cam that he'd be under the man's skin. The morning he'd woken up wrapped around Cam…that had felt so fuckingright. It had been thrilling as well as comforting.

"It's too bad you're married, honey." Brian leaned close and put a hand on Austin's thigh. "I would'velovedto show you some stuff."

Austin laughed and was about to say something, but a man bumped into Brian from behind and spat out, "Get a fucking room, cocksuckers."

"Oh!" Some of the guys around the bar erupted.

Austin saw red, but before he could even react, a flashback nearly knocked him over.

"Finish the damn food, Cam," Austin said impatiently. "You're never going to be able to keep up your strength if you don’t eat."

"Shut the fuck up, cocksucker."

Austin gritted his teeth and chugged the last of his soup straight out of the bowl. It'd been like this for the past few days—ever since Cam had revealed his disorder, that Asperger whatever-it-was. Cam had been defensive, hostile, and cursing more than he usually did. He'd also returned to sitting on his cot doing nothing. No more working out, no eating properly; it was like Cam had shut down.

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