Page 40 of A Toxic Redemption

"I know." I sighed as I threw my head back onto the sofa. "A couple of weeks of being disrespectful doesn't take away the fact that he is her oldest son. Her first son. She loves that nigga."

"As do you," Luck looked up at me and responded. "Despite the betrayal and what anybody says, you love him, and that's why you're so conflicted."

"You might be right." I kissed the top of her forehead. "Shit is crazy, man."

"And your father?" She sat up and stared at me. "How do you feel about what he told you? Do you believe him? What do you want to come from his admission?"

When I was at the bar trying to drink all my troubles away, the thought crossed my mind a time or two.Could I really forgive him and pretend the last twenty-plus years didn't happen? Did I really want him to be part of my life? My mother's life? My son's life?

"Shit, girl, you're asking some tough questions." We both laughed before going silent. "I don't know Luck. I don't want to come off as a weak ass nigga if I forgive him. How can I forget the shit he's done?"

"You don't forget it." She gave me a soft smile as she looked at me. I swear she was the finest girl in the world to a nigga. "You take it one day at a time. You want a relationship with him, and it's understandable. You both were cheated out of that because of stubbornness, jealousy, and miscommunication. There is nothing wrong with starting anew."

"Would you do that with your mother?"

She stiffened for a moment before frowning. "Hell no," she spat. "Our situation is different. Your father was given false information, but he didn't know the real, so he was misled to believe you weren't his. My mother birthed me. She literally pushed me out of her pussy and looked me in my face three yearslater, and decided she didn't want to be a parent anymore. Fuck her."

"Do you miss her?"

"Nah." She placed her head back on my shoulder. "I honestly have nothing for her ass. She's doing just fine where she is, and so am I."

I nodded and left the conversation alone. I didn't want to put her in a bad space by speaking on her mother. We sat in a comfortable silence, with me gripping her ass with one hand and caressing her back with another. Oddly, this crazy ass girl was giving me a sense of peace.

"Can I say one last thing?" Luck mumbled into my chest before looking up at me. "Don't do anything crazy when it comes to your cousins. I know you want answers, and I know you feel a way about their mother. You guys have a bond, and I'd hate to see it tainted because of someone else's fuck up."

"Man, shorty, I don't want to hear that." I shifted underneath her and lifted her slightly. "Their mama is the reason I lost out on years with my father."

"And Karma will tear her ass up." Luck placed her hand on my cheek and gazed at me. "Don't be the usual you, Khalil. Please."

"The usual me, huh?" I chuckled. "Girl, don't act like you know me."

"I know enough." She slapped my chest and slid out of my lap. "I know that despite your crazy and toxic ways, you're a good guy. You just have a lot going on. I also want you to get shit together with your baby mama and brother. If you guys ever act that way in front of KJ again, it's me you all will have to worry about." I sat and followed the movements of her body like it was my favorite movie. The way she yawned as she stretched changed my mind about not wanting to fuck her.

"I hear you, shorty, but I'm going to for sure holla at them niggas." I stood from the couch and stepped around her.

I felt Lucky's eyes on me as I walked to the door and around her shit, blowing out candles and cutting off lights. I walked into the kitchen and made sure nothing was on or needed to be cleaned or wiped down. Cutting those lights off as well, I walked back into her living room and found her standing in the same spot. No words were spoken as I grabbed her by the hand and led her to her bedroom.

"Khalil, what the hell are you doing?" she asked as I sat her down on the lid of her toilet. "Why are you turning the shower on?"

"Because I don't want to get into your bed smelling like outside." I gave her aduhexpression before I pulled my shirt over my head.

My tattoos that she loved so much are on full display, and she could act like she didn't want a nigga in her space all she wants, but I know the real. "I'm finna take a shower and we're about to lay down. Talk to me while I bathe."

Still looking at me as if I'd lost my mind, I couldn't think that maybe I had. I've never moved like this when it came to these women, but it was something about this girl that made me want to be in her space, in her life.

"Luck!" I yelled over the running water once inside. "Tell a nigga about your day. How's your pops and my girl Sasha?"

"Khalil, be fuckin' for real nigga." I could hear the smile in her voice, which in return caused me to smile. "But they're good. They decided to go back home because they're headed out of town for New Year's."

"What are we doing for it?" I asked as I continued to wash my body. "I mean, it's going to be the first of many, so we might as well get a head start on it now."

Lucky went silent on a nigga like I knew she would. Anytime I mentioned anything about us kicking it or being together outside of sex, she would shut that shit all the way down. Whether I was joking or not, that shit lowkey pissed me off. After a few more minutes, lost in my thoughts, I finished my shower and dried off before going into her bedroom.

"Where are your clothes, Khalil?" She eyed me as I waltzed into her room and into her bed naked as the day I was born. "Who even told you to stay the night?"

"Fuck them clothes, and you might as well come out of yours, too. I want to feel your skin on mine." I yanked the covers back and climbed in. This girl had the softest mattress and sheets. Just that fast, I was ready to knock out. "And you know a nigga been drinking. You want me to drive home like this?"

Luck didn't say anything, but she did come out of her clothes like I suggested. I eyed her intently as she slid her tiny shorts over her thick ass thighs, and my mouth instantly watered. When those titties came into view with her nipple jewelry blinding me, I wanted nothing more than to sink my teeth into this girl.

---