Page 23 of A Toxic Redemption

"How in the fuck do you have all of this shit?" I turned to face his awaiting eyes. "More importantly, why? What the fuck does any of this mean to a man who couldn't care less about his child? A child he had access to and never acknowledged?"

"Will you have a seat, Khalil?" Ceaser motioned toward the sitting area located on the other side of the room. "Would you like some coffee or anything to drink?"

"Does it look like I want some fuckin' coffee, nigga?" I crossed my arms and mugged him. "For over twenty years, you've been stalking me like you care about a nigga, and you ask me if I want to talk to you over some fucking coffee? Man, tell me what the fuck you want so I can get the fuck out of here."

"Aight," He chuckled as he took a step from me and unbuttoned his jacket. "I've let you disrespect me long enough, and I admit that most of it has been warranted." He removed his jacket and placed it over the arm of a nearby chair. "What you won't do is continue to disrespect me like I'm some bitch ass nigga." He removed his cufflinks and never took his eyes off me. "If you want to take it there, lil' nigga, we can most certainly turn this muhfucka out. Shit won't be easy as you think, though."

Looking at this nigga like he was crazy, I couldn't help but laugh. As bad as I wanted to, there was no way I came way overhere to fight this old ass nigga. This was the most pointless ass trip if I'd ever been on one.

"Man, let me get the fuck out of here before I take you up on your offer, and we tear this bitch up. Don't contact me no more nigga, or I'll burn this bitch down to the ground." I turned to leave toward the door. "I appreciate you trying to help me with Kaine, but I got it. And stop trying to come around to wiggle your way back into my mama's life. I will kill you about that one."

"She lied to me about you being my son," he called out as I placed my hand on the doorknob. "From the day you were born, she lied to me."

"Who?" I snapped my head in Ceaser's direction as he looked at me with angry eyes. "Are you saying my mama lied to you about me being yours? Because if that's what you're insinuating, I'll kill you right now." I removed my gun from the inside of my hoodie and placed it at my side. "What are you saying?"

"I'm asking you once again to have a seat, Khalil." He sighed and took a seat on the small couch. "Please."

I eyed him for a moment before I made my way back across his office to the sitting area. For a few moments, I watched him as he seemed to be in deep thought. I was growing impatient and needed him to say what he had to say before I flashed out in here.

"Say, my man, I don't know what's on your mind, but I need you to speak up." I rested my arms across the back of the sofa and watched him intently. "You got my mind racing over here, and instead of thinking the worse, I need you to be straight up with a nigga."

"What I'm about to tell you is the God's honest truth." He looked up at me with pleading eyes. "I just want you to hear me out, and I will respect how you want to move forward. Can you just do that one thing for me?"

"I'm listening, man," I answered, slightly annoyed. "Just spill it."

"When I met your mother, I was young as hell and in the streets, kind of how you are now." He chuckled as he stared at me. "I knew Khalise was the one for me, and no one could tell me anything different. I love the ground she walked on. She was meant to be more than a street nigga's girl, but I loved her, and I was willing to do anything for her. Even though I sat by and watched her have a baby by another nigga, I knew she was mine. When we were finally able to be together, shit got rocky with my family and even her own parents. They never liked a nigga, so they cut her off."

He sighed as he sat back further on the couch.

"They told her she had to choose between a thug and her family, and she chose me. I vowed right then to love and protect her with everything in me. Shit, I even vowed to protect your fuckin’ brother. When she found out she was pregnant, I knew I had to make a way for us and get out of the streets."

"So you went after my mama, knowing she had a kid?"

"Hell yeah." He chuckled. "Your brother was around two at the time, but that didn't mean shit to me. As long as she wasn't still dealing with his father, I didn't give a fuck. I took care of his little ass, too, simply because he was attached to her. My family had an issue with that, but I didn't give a fuck."

"So your folks were fucking with my mama?" I leaned forward to the edge of the couch. "What did she ever do to them?"

"Steal my heart." The pain in his eyes was evident. "They felt as if she was only around for my money and didn't care about me. She was my world, and regardless of what they said, I wasn't hearing that. After you were born, the tension was worse than ever between them, and I didn't know what to do. Hell, at thetime, I didn't even know the cause of it. I loved my family, but I loved my girl and son, too."

"So you eventually said fuck us, huh?" I dropped my head and chuckled. This man was a fucking joke. "Instead of telling them to stay out of your business, you chose them over the family you created."

"When you were about a year old, I received a certified letter in the mail." I brought my eyes back up and found him staring at me. "Imagine my shock and surprise when I got papers saying the little boy I loved more than life itself wasn't mine. Can you imagine how that fucked with me? You're a father now, Khalil. Can you imagine spending all that time raising KJ from birth and being attached to him just to find out he wasn't yours?"

I remained silent because I didn't even want to imagine anything like that. Although I'm just now finding out I have a son, KJ was my fucking world. I'm already at the point of killing his mother so she will never take him from me again, so I can only imagine how I would feel if I had him from birth.

"So that was it?" I asked. "Just fuck us?"

"I didn't know what to fuckin' do!" He shot up from his seat. "Before you were born, I never had a reason to question if you were mine. Hell, even when you got here, I didn't because, to me, you were my twin. The papers didn't lie, though. I even asked your mother, and you know what she said?" He paced the floor and chuckled. "She told me to go to hell. She removed you from my home and cut all ties with me. She didn't deny any of it, so I knew it was true."

"My mama would never have a reason to trap anybody or pin a fuckin' baby on them!" I shot up from my own seat. "You thought that less of her to believe some shit like that?"

"My sister had no reason to lie! You came over one weekend and she had you swabbed behind my back! I was hurt, betrayed, and confused man. When she left, I didn't stop her. I neverstopped looking after y'all. I always made sure y'all were okay. I never stopped loving either of you."

"Let me get the fuck out of here." I made my way toward the door. "You sitting up telling me that my mama was some lying ass bitch don't sit right with me, and to keep from blowing your brains all over these walls, I'm going to leave."

"Son—"

"Nah." I pointed my gun at him when he reached out to touch me. "Don't call me that. You don't deserve me or my mother's forgiveness for the shit you put us through."

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