Page 21 of A Toxic Redemption

"I fucked up, man." He dropped his head and cried. "I didn't even want to do that shit, but that nigga said he was going to kill my mama. You know that's all I got out here."

"What nigga?" Jake asked as he came and stood beside me. "What are you talking about?"

"Kaine," Troop met my eyes and confessed. "He pulled up on me a few months ago, telling me he would kill my mama if I didn't help him get some work or money from you. I didn't know what to do, man. That's your brother, and we all know how you feel about him, but I couldn't let that man hurt my mama."

"Who shot Loon?" Bino asked. I was too stunned at what he was saying to respond. "Don't lie and say you don't know because I know you do."

"Kaine." Troop dropped his head once more. "I don't know what you did to that man, but he hates you, Loon." He raised his head, and there was nothing but sadness in them. "I know you're going to kill me. I fucked up for helping that nigga run off on you. All I can say is watch your back. Growing up with y'all and seeing where you two are now is crazy."

"What exactly did Kaine say to you?" Jake asked. "Why did he want the work and money?"

"All he told me was he wanted to break Khalil down to nothing," Troop somberly stated. "He wants you dead."

"Does Mia know what this nigga is up to?" I asked. "Has she been in on any conversations with y'all?"

Hearing that my brother wanted me dead was disheartening, like a muhfucka. Never did I ever think we would get to this point of him wanting me dead. And for what? Money? A hoe? Kaine's issues with me are bigger than I thought, and at this point, I'm not sure if it's worth finding out why. The thing is, if Mia knew what her nigga was up to, she was instantly dying because they weren't raising my son if something happened to me.

"Man, I don't know her role in anything or if she even has one, but she's never been part of any conversation we've had."

"Aight." I lowered my gun. "I want you to keep doing what you're doing with that nigga and report back to me about anything Kaine plans on doing. I'll make sure your mama is straight. I'll put eyes on her, but if I feel like for one minute you're playing with me, I will blow that Corolla up with Nadine inside. Feel me?"

"Yeah, man." He visibly relaxed. "I got you, and I appreciate it."

Nodding my head, I motioned for Bino and Jake to come on. There was nothing that needed to be done right now. The only thing that was on my mind was the fact that my brother wanted to kill me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Loon, I know you, and I know you're not going to just let shit ride with Troop," Jake spoke as we pulled off from his street. "What are we doing with him?"

"For now? Nothing." I sighed and rested my head against the seat. "When I don't have a use for him, he will be in the same place as Kaine."

"And where is that?"

Coming to a stop at a red light, I raised my head and met the awaiting eyes of my cousins. My head was cloudy, and mymind was conflicted. In this case, there was only one acceptable answer.

"Hell."

As I drove through the city, my mind was flooded with nothing but questions that, for the life of me, I wasn't able to answer. Where did Kaine and I go wrong? Why did he hate me the way he does? Was this so-called beef really worth either of our lives? To me, the answer was no, but it obviously wasn't the same for him.

Looking at the incoming call flash across my stereo, I ignored it for the fifth time. My mother was okay, and so was my son. Everyone else would just have to wait until I felt like talking. Tonight, I wanted to be alone. Future's "My Savages"flowed through my speakers, and thoughts of my and Kaine's childhood came to mind.

I remember being the youngest of the crew and having everyone's respect because my big brother didn't play about me. From my first fistfight to getting my first piece of pussy, my brother was always by my side. When I was hungry because mama used all of her money for bills, he ensured I ate. He didn't care who he had to steal from to make that happen. When I wanted to play football and was told I wasn't good enough to be the quarterback, Kaine made sure he was on the field and in the gym with me every day, working to get my skill level and weight up. When I was pissed because my father wanted nothing to do with me, he was my listening ear and shoulder to cry on.

"Fuck, man," I growled as I aggressively wiped the lone tear that cascaded down my face.

This wasn't just some nigga I ran the streets and got money with. He wasn't some nigga that I would hit up to go chase hoes.He was my blood. My muthafuckin' brother. Kaine was breaking a real nigga's heart right now, and that shit would not be good for anybody. My music, being interrupted by an incoming text, paused and caused me to check the notification.

Little Miss Water Park:Come sop up this pussy like a biscuit dipped in syrup. I want to leave your face dripping and sticky.

Chuckling, I placed my phone back in my lap without responding to her. Lucky is the type that would consume your thoughts and have you lose focus. Right now was not the time. Placing the song on repeat, thoughts of me and my brother led me two hours outside of town. The area I wandered to was unfamiliar territory, but I didn't care. Right now, my mind was racing, and my heart was aching for a brotherhood that was no more. In my heart of hearts, I knew that the relationship between Kaine and me was over, and at the rate we were going, one of us was going to end up dead.

Facing the rest of my blunt, I sat there for a moment and peered out of my windshield into the night. There's never been any bitch in my blood, but this is the hardest shit I've ever had to do, and the realization of the choices I have to make hasn't been easy. Fuck it, though, because I can't let a nigga take me away from my son. I don't care who it is.

I exited my car and popped the trunk, getting all the supplies I needed. Without closing it, I made the short walk to my destination. Tucked back off the main highway was a small cottage-style home. No one was here, but it was cool because I knew how to let myself in. Breaking the glass on the side window, I reached inside and fumbled around until I was able to find the lock and open the door.

"Funky bitches," I gritted through clenched teeth. "They better hope like hell this isn't how they were living with my son."

Food containers and trash littered the floor. Small bugs scattered all about and ran once I cut the lights on. For someone to be living lavishly, I couldn't tell by looking at this dump. After finding out Kaine was the one who shot me, I was shocked. I couldn't believe things were that bad to the point that he wanted to take me out. I honestly was going to let it ride because shit, like I said, he's my brother. I couldn't bring myself to harm Kaine, no matter what he's done. Ironically, it took my own father to sit me down and explain to me someone like Kaine will never stop until one of us is dead. He advised me to think about my own son and how KJ would feel if something happened to me. I heard him, and I understood, but I was hoping sending him a slight message would suffice.

Once Ceaser gave me the address to the house they'd been living in, I contemplated what I wanted to do with that information. The more I thought about the fact that they didn't give a fuck about me, my choice was clear.

---