Page 71 of Mutual Desire

Damien’s heart sank. He hated the idea of a “break.” He understood the need for space, but it felt like a final judgment.

“Okay,” Damien agreed reluctantly, the word tasting bitter. “But I want you to punish me first.”

Craig’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Fuck me like I’m your worst enemy,” Damien said, his voice raw with desperation.

Craig’s laugh was cold and mocking. “Do you really think, after everything, I could get hard for you?”

The words hit Damien like ice water. He couldn’t hide the shock and hurt that crept onto his face, but Craig didn’t seem to care.

“Let’s go,” Craig muttered, reaching out for Damien.

Damien shot him a resentful look, pulling away. He walked over to the bedside table and grabbed the bottle of whiskey, his hands shaking.

“I’m fine, okay? I don’t need you to be my damn Uber,” he muttered, his voice low with frustration. “Call me when you decide this break is over,” Damien added, his tone betraying the hurt.

Damien ignored Craig, walking past him without a word.

Craig called out to him. “Damien, I hope you're not planning to drive in the state you're in.”

Damien stopped in his tracks and turned, a sarcastic smile pulling at his lips. “Maybe, Craigson.” His words were a challenge.

“Damien!” Craig’s voice cracked with desperation.

Damien didn’t stop. He continued walking, determined not to show weakness.

“Damien,” Craig repeated, stepping toward him. Before Damien could leave the room, Craig grabbed his arm.

“Let go of me!” Damien screamed, trying to wrench his arm free. Craig held him tightly, his grip unyielding, and Damien fought him, tears streaming down his face as his anger and guilt tangled together. His legs gave out, and he collapsed against Craig, his sobs shaking his body.Craig didn’t say anything. He just held him, his arms wrapping around him like a lifeline.

After a moment, Damien’s tears slowed, and Craig whispered, “I’m going to run you a bath. You stink.”

Damien sniffed, lifting his head from Craig’s shoulder. “You hate me. You’re going to drown me in the bath, aren’t you?”

Craig sighed, but his touch remained soft. “Then take a shower, if that’s what you want.”

“No,” Damien replied stubbornly. “I want the bath. With a lot of water.”

Craig’s expression softened. He shook his head, but there was no real anger in it. “Fine, Damien. A bath it is.”

He led Damien into the bathroom, the tension thick between them but unspoken.

After the bath—with lots of water, Damien felt the weight of the world slowly drifting away, replaced by the numbing comfort of the water. He didn’t know how long he stayed there, but when Craig woke him, dried him off, and dressed him, he barely had the energy to protest.

Back in bed, wrapped in cool sheets, Damien, exhausted and empty,watched Craig undress.“I love you,” Damien whispered, the words feeling too small for everything he was feeling.

Craig turned, meeting his gaze. They held each other’s eyes for a beat—a quiet, fragile truce hanging in the air.

Craig didn’t say it back, but he didn’t have to.

For now, Damien could live with that.

TWENTY-THREE

Tears and Shadows

To say the following week had been an improvement would be a gross understatement. Damien slowly began to put his life back together, piece by piece. He returned to the gym, spending hours punishing his body into exhaustion, finding a strange solace in the ache of strained muscles. On days when he grew tired of lifting weights, he jogged through Central Park, the steady rhythm of his feet against the pavement giving him a much-needed escape from his swirling thoughts.

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