Page 68 of Mutual Desire

“Craig,” Damien whispered, his voice barely audible. “Please.”

Craig didn’t respond. He continued dressing as if Damien weren’t standing in the room, his back to him, his every movement a clear dismissal.

“Please, don’t do this. Can’t we just talk?” Damien tried again, but his words hung in the air, unanswered.

Craig was alreadywalking out of the bedroom without a backward glance. Damien followed, heart pounding, but Craig was already at the front door, slipping into his shoes with methodical precision, his expression still frozen in place. Without a word, he grabbed his keys and stepped outside.

Damien’s heart shattered as he watched Craig leave, completely hopeless. He couldn’t even call after him—he was too numb, too lost in the weight of what he’d done. Alone now, Damien stood in the quiet apartment, the emptiness around him a mirror of the emptiness inside. His hands trembled as he went back in the bedroom and picked up his phone from the nightstand. He dialed without thinking, desperate for a lifeline. Dimitri answered after a few rings.

“Hey, D.” Dimitri’s familiar voice was a balm against the storm inside him.

Damien swallowed hard. “I told him everything,” he whispered, his throat raw.

A beat of silence followed, heavy with understanding.

“You really did it?” Dimitri finally asked, his voice soft with disbelief.

“Yes.” Damien’s voice cracked, barely able to speak through the lump in his throat. Another long pause stretched between them.

“I’m sorry, man,” Dimitri said. “You’ll get through this. I’m here for you.”

Damien closed his eyes. “I don’t know how,” he murmured, the weight of his guilt pressing down on him.

“Come by later. Me and my beers are waiting.”

Damien managed a small, broken laugh. “Thanks, Dim.”

“Anytime, Dam,” Dimitri said quietly. “You’ll get through this.”

As soon as the call ended, the tears began to flow again. Damien pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to stop the flood, but it was useless. The weight of everything—Craig, Nabokov, the lies—was too much. He let them fall, helpless against the tide of his own regret.

He knew he had made a mess of things. And the worst part? Nabokov was getting exactly what he wanted.

TWENTY-TWO

Breaking Point

Dimitri stared at his friend as Damien vomited onto the living room floor.

It was a pitiful sight—Damien, hunched over the sofa, his head hanging low, eyes half-closed. Dimitri had just come home from work when he stumbled upon the mess. The room was dimly lit by the soft, flickering glow of the television.

Dimitri’s heart clenched as he crouched down beside Damien, placing a hand on his shoulder. The scent of stale alcohol hung heavily in the air. Damien’s apartment had essentially become Dimitri’s living room for the past two days—a refuge where Damien drowned himself in booze, trying to numb the pain that clawed at him.

Damien groaned, glancing hazily at the damage he'd caused. “I’ll clean it,” he mumbled, his voice slurred and weak.

Dimitri shook his head gently, his hand moving from Damien’s shoulder to cup his cheek.

“D, don’t worry about it. Just sit still.”

Damien struggled to push himself upright. His body wobbled with the effort, but Dimitri was quick to stop him. “Nope. Stay put,” Dimitri ordered softly. “How many drinks did you have this time?”

Damien let out a bitter laugh, though it sounded more like a whimper. “I… stopped counting.” He avoided Dimitri’s gaze, the weight of shame pressing heavily on him.

“Of course you did,” Dimitri sighed. “Don’t move. I’ll clean this up.”

Before Damien could protest, Dimitri was already off, retrieving a bucket of water and towels. Damien gave one last, tired glance at the pool of vomit before collapsing back onto the sofa. Within minutes, his breathing deepened, and he drifted off into a restless sleep.

By the time Dimitri returned, Damien was snoring softly. Dimitri set the bucket down, cleaned the mess with practiced ease, and quietly disposed of it. He returned with a glass of water and some pills, setting them on the coffee table next to Damien.

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