Page 48 of Rescuing Mara

I sob. “You can’t go alone, O’Rec.” Then I dry my tears, a plan forming. “I will come with you.”

The horror in his eyes matches mine from a moment ago.

“Yes, O’Rec, hear me out. I can already sense your emotions. Can you feel mine?” He nods. “Great, that means that our bond is finally settling into place. It won’t be long now until we have a mental link, there’s nothing stopping that anymore. Lauren has to take care of the ship and tell T’Rak and D’Var everything. Do we have some sort of cloaking tech you can use on the hiding spot?”

O’Rec nods “Yes, we do. I will install it immediately, L’Ren. You should get in there as soon as possible to make sure the Sternotheri scans never pick you up.”

“Excellent! We can say that when we crashed, we lost all the food, so you guys are all out searching for something to stock our supplies, leaving us alone to look after the ship.”

“Won’t the Sternotheri just wait for us to come back?” L’Ren whispers. I reach for her hand and give it a tight squeeze.

“I grew up together with Ananta. If anybody can manipulate her, it’s me. And since I’ve always been her good little slave, she will never see it coming.”

We sit together in grim silence for a hot minute. All of us are occupied by our own thoughts. O’Rec is the first one to break the silence.

“L’Ren, I will show you how to shut down and reboot the systems. I’ll put a countdown system in the hiding place.”

They both stand and walk towards Command. Leaving me behind with all of my guilt.

It could have gone worse, oh, it definitely could have gone worse. They both appear to have taken the first steps to forgiving me, which is beyond my wildest imagination. But where in the equation is my relationship with O’Rec? I have told him my biggest shame and confessed my deepest, darkest secrets to him. Will he still love me now that he knows the real me? It feels silly to worry about feelings and the future while we are about to confront Ananta and her army. I guess hope is a fickle thing. I managed to live my entire life without it, but now that it’s about to be taken away from me again, I need it to survive. I hang my head, but blood immediately stains the table. With a sigh, I wipe it with my sleeve. I should go to the Medical bay and clean myself up.

* * *

The wait is killingme already. Within a couple of hours, O’Rec adjusted the hiding place with a cloaking device and a countdown timer. We decided to leave the ship in disarray to make a more convincing story to the Sternotheri about the ship being broken down. Lauren is in the hiding spot right now, O’Rec is doing scans, and… I’m just sitting on the couch in Command, too afraid to start a conversation with O’Rec.

There is nothing left for me to do, and anxiety has planted roots firmly inside my belly. O’Rec has shut down the cleaning bots, who were amazing at cleaning up the mess from the crash. Imagine having a bathtub the size of a small pool lose all its water; we kept it empty after that. Lauren’s hiding spot has been fully stocked with food for days; she even has a gun.

We wait in silence. When we’re almost at the moment of the storm hitting, I go to the Cargo Bay to change positions with Lauren. This way, O’Rec can show her the whole process once, and we can still keep the illusion of only having two people on the ship.

Going through the black-out all alone while dreading the arrival of the Sternotheri is not doing my anxiety any good. I try to breathe in, to center myself, but I miss my mate. I miss his presence, even if it’s only for a couple of minutes.

When Lauren returns, I hug her one last time in encouragement. “You can do this, Lauren.”

She hugs me right back. “You too, Mara… I understand, well, not truly, but I can imagine. Be strong and stay alive. We will come for you. We will come for you both!”

I blink back my tears before we break apart and close up the hiding spot. Hesitating, I wait in the cargo bay for a minute. I need to know if O’Rec thinks he can love me after this. It will break me if I fight to keep being alive, and he rejects me after all.

I find him in Command at the security station.

“Hi,” I say meekly, but he gives me a smile and gestures me over.

“Will you sit with me?” he asks, and I happily climb into his lap—the scent of fresh spices a balm to my aching heart. I feel relief, but it’s not mine.

“I can sense you.”

O’Rec wraps his arms around me. “I know, I can feel you too. I wish we would experience happier feelings, though.”

He makes me smile just a little, and I snuggle deeper into his embrace.

“When do you think they will come?” I hesitantly ask.

“I hope soon,” O’Rec says with a heavy sigh. “And I hope it will take them forever. Every moment it takes them to get here is another one I get to spend with you. If I do not make it, at least we have the time we spent as a gift.”

“Please don’t say that,” I whisper, crying again. “I don’t want to lose you O’Rec.”

He hugs me tighter. “I do not want to lose you either. Without you, I will not survive. You have made me see that I can have a future and be the person my people need me to be. But not without you, my Zarra. You are the star that guides me, the sparkle within me. Without you, life would not be worth living.”

I sob. “Do you still love me?” I whisper.

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