Page 120 of Love is a Game

He and my mother were so different. She was pragmatic to the point of being bossy, always clear about what was right and wrong, steering me toward the correct path. Life, to her, was a choice—one direction or the other, no detours, no indulgences. It gave me drive and determination and made me independent.

But Dad? He doesn’t see life that way. His version is messier, full of bends and wrong turns. He’s proof that you can take plenty of missteps and still end up somewhere…whole.

Just as I ponder that, he gives a nervous cough.

“So,” he says, a little too casually. “What’s going on with you and that Tuck fella?”

My breath snags. “What?”

Dad rubs a thumb to his jaw. “He told me something.”

I brace myself. “Oh?”

“Said he wants to be with you, but you always shut him out. That true?”

My stomach plummets. “When on earth did he say that?”

“When he gave me a hard time about not going to the funeral.” Dad shifts in his seat. “Pointed out how I was copping out…again.”

I blink. “He did?”

“Sure damn did. And I’m grateful to him, truth be known.”

Dad juts out his elbow as he places his hand on his knee, and the casual motion is so familiar in my memory that I can barely speak.

“Well…I think it’s over. That he finally gave up on me,” I admit, my voice uneven.

“Bullshit.” Dad folds his arms. “That guy doesn’t seem like someone who’d give up too easily.”

I let out a short, humorless laugh. “No, really. He did. Because it was far from easy—I didn’t make it easy. Quite the opposite. And he finally saw we can’t work out.”

Dad tilts his head, studying me. “Do you love him?”

I hesitate, grappling with the weird reality of talking this through with the most unlikely person of all time. But then, the overwhelming need to discuss my warped feelings wins out.

“We’ve known each other forever. Ever since we were kids, when Mom and I settled in Blue Mountain Lake.”

“That wasn’t the question, now, was it?” Laurie asks gently.

I shift uncomfortably, crossing my arms. “The thing is, we don’t fit, Laurie. We’re total opposites. We’ve somehow managed to have this…thing all these years that kind of works, and I’m not sure we should change anything.”

“Ah!” Laurie blurts. “You’rescared.” The lilt to her voice suggests somehow that’s a good thing.

I push my hair back, suddenly flustered under their scrutiny. “Okay—yes. I’m scared that if we tried, we’d fail. Just like all my previous relationships.”

I pause, suddenly reluctant to throw the blame for my relationship failures directly at the feet of my father. Is it fair? Perhaps. Maybe itisall his fault. But something stops me. What good will continuing to blame him achieve?

“And his, for that matter,” I add. “Tuck’s relationship longevity peaks at about three years, then it’s over. Three years with me? He’d probably want a stiff drink of arsenic.”

Laurie doesn’t look the least bit concerned. If anything, she’s smug, like a Cheshire cat. She leans forward to tap my father’s hand and winks at him.

I narrow my eyes. “What?”

“Oh, Sweetheart.” She gives a sympathetic smile. “You already answered the question.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“It’s how you know for sure. Trust me, the more terrified you are of giving it a shot, the more likely it is that you love him.”

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