Page 34 of Stick Handled

When he finally speaks, his voice is low, like he’s trying to work through something in his head.

“I’m worried about Avery,” he admits, dropping the two dumbbells, done with his set.

That one word… her name feels like a sucker punch.

“Why? What’s going on with her?” I grab my own weights, careful not to let my reaction show.

“She’s… different, you know? From other people her age, I mean.” Rowan’s brow furrows, his gaze dropping to the floor.

“How so?” I try my best to act focused on curling the dumbbell, but I’ve already broken out a sweat, and it has nothing to do with the workout.

“She keeps to herself. Doesn’t go out, doesn’t meet people. I mean, she has Sarah, but… she’s always so far in her own head. I tried to make her come with us to the club that night, maybe show her that it’s not so bad, but she refused. She’s never had a boyfriend. At least, not one I know of. But then again, she’s never even expressed interest in guys or dating either. It’s like she’s missing out on being young, and I don’t know how to reach her.”

Every word slams into me, the weight of everything I know, everything I can’t say to him, dragging at me. He doesn’t realize the depth of it—what she’s really feeling, how insecure she is about herself, about being seen. The way she looks at herself, like she’s less, like she doesn’t know the effect she has on anyone around her. Onme.

And I want to tell him all of it, to reassure him, tell him what’s bothering Avery so he can approach her accordingly. But I can’t. Not without risking everything.

I clear my throat, searching for the right words.

“She’s… she’s figuring it out. Might just need a little time. Not everyone goes through the wild party phase, you know. I think your sister needs to find her people on her own, and if that means having a small circle, then so be it.”

“You’re right. But it’s more than that.” Rowan shakes his head. “I see the way she shrinks back. The only thing she’s expressed interest in is skating again. And that’s the one thing I can’t give her. And fuck, I want to, Damien. But I can’t.” He exhales, frustration and worry crossing his face. “If only she’d talk to me.”

I bite back the urge to tell him sheistalking—tome. That she’s come alive in a way only I can see, and the second I’m near her, all my usual rules and walls are gone. She knows what she’s doing, loves skating, and is determined, smart, funny, defiant, and brilliant.

But I’m silent, a weight pressing on my chest, knowing I’m keeping things from him, knowing there’s no good way to bridge the gap without crossing another line.

“Anyway, thanks for listening, man.” Rowan sighs, shifting his stance. “I know you’re busy, but if you keep an eye out whenever I’m not around, just so she doesn’t feel lonely, you know… I’d appreciate it. I told Ares that as well, but we both know he’s not the best conversationalist.”

“You know I will.” I nod, clapping him on the shoulder, feeling the bitter twist of guilt bite even harder.

He’s asking me to talk to her from time to time. If he knew what I’d just done last night while his sister was in the shower, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Fuck.

I’ve never lied to Rowan or Ares—never had to. They know about every single fucked-up thing I’ve done and love and accept me regardless. But this is different. And the guilt eats me alive.

I try to focus on something else, to let the weights and adrenaline burn through the images in my head, but it’s useless. She’s there, woven into every thought, every beat of my pulse. And the guilt is almost as strong.

Chapter thirteen

~AVERY~

“Oh. My. God!” Sarah’s voice is somewhere between a whisper and a scream as she clasps her hands over her mouth, staring at me wide-eyed. “You’re joking, right? He wasthatclose?”

I nod, biting my lip, feeling the same surge of excitement and nervousness I’d felt last night.

“It felt like he was going to kiss me,” I say, looking down at my hands as I fidget with a loose thread on my sweater. “But then he didn’t.”

Sarah drops her hands and leans in, eyes alight. “Avery, do you realize what this means?” She practically grabs my shoulders, her grin widening. “It means I was totally right about Damien.”

“Right about what?” I ask, even though I can already guess what she’s going to say.

“That he’s got the hots for you!” Sarah gives me a little shake, her enthusiasm infectious. “Seriously, I saw the way he looked at you the other day at practice. He’s not exactly subtle, you know.”

“Can you be the voice of reason for once?” I shake my head, feeling my cheeks go warm. “This is my brother’s best friend, a professional hockey player, and co-owner of the biggest real estate agency in the states. Not to mention he’s like ten years older than me. And what am I? A twenty-three-year-old girl looking for a journalism internship, living in her brother’s house.”

“Here we go.” She rolls her eyes. “Avery, babe, not everyone has it all figured out in their twenties. You’ve just come back from college, and you have the privilege to take your time choosing an internship while living in a fricking mansion. You graduated with a 4.0 GPA. You deserve some rest… and sex with a super-hot hockey player who blackmails you into having a drink with him.” Now she’s giggling.

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