Page 115 of Don't Puck the Wrong Brother

She's quiet for a moment, processing. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?" she asks finally, her voice soft but steady. "I would have understood."

"Pride," I admit. "Shame. Not wanting you to see that part of me. Megan made me think it was a miscarriage, so I almost threw everything away until one of her friend’s told me she was sending me pictures from google. I googled it and…it was the same pictures she was sending me. I was fucked up over it for a while because I thought I loved Megan. Turns out, I was just young. I was the guy who got completely played by someone he trusted. The guy who fell apart over a girl who turned out to be manipulative as hell. I don’t tell anybody about that time. I didn't want you thinking I was lying about it or judge me."

"I would never have judged you," she says with such conviction that I almost believe her.

"I’m sorry I didn’t tell you," I say. "It was selfish of me, but I didn’t want to talk about it. That's on me."

She looks down at her hands, folded neatly in her lap. "That’s heavy, Sanderson. I’m sorry that it all happened."

I grab her hand, relieved she intertwines her fingers in mine. "It’s all in the past."

"Okay," she says, understanding.

"I want us to be together," I say simply.

Her eyes meet mine, caution and hope battling in their depths.

"Officially, exclusively, whatever label makes sense to you. I want this, Hannah. I want you. I haven't looked at another girl since that night in Cade’s room. I haven't wanted to."

Her lips part in surprise. I turn to her, but before she can respond, a sharp pain lances through my head, radiating from the cut on my cheekbone down into my neck. I can't suppress the wince, the involuntary tightening of my features.

"Let’s get you inside," she says immediately, concern displacing everything else. "You need to take medicine now."

"It’ll pass," I try to argue, but she's already opening her door.

"No, you're in pain, and we can continue this conversation inside."

I follow her lead, oddly comforted by her take-charge attitude even in the midst of our unresolved issues. I fumble with the keys, my coordination suffering as the headache intensifies.

Inside, I head straight for the kitchen where I left the pills prescribed by the medical staff. Hannah follows, hovering in the doorway as I down two tablets with a glass of water.

"Strong stuff," I explain, setting the glass down. "Should kick in soon."

"Good." She crosses her arms, suddenly looking uncertain now that we're in my space. "You should probably rest."

"Not until we finish this conversation," I insist. "Not until we're okay."

"Aren’t we, though?" she asks, vulnerability creeping into her voice. "Okay?"

I move closer, stopping just short of touching her. "I want to be. More than anything. But that's up to you."

She looks up at me, studying my face as if searching for any sign of insincerity. "I was scared tonight," she admits quietly. "Seeing you in that context—surrounded by teammates, by those girls, by everything I'm not part of. I felt like I was getting a glimpse of the real Sanderson Connolly, and he didn't need me at all."

"That's how it is being a part of the team. My face is beat, and the guys still wanted me to come out. It’s just how it is, and it’s not as bad as you think," I say, shaking my head despite the pain it causes. "We’re not out fucking everything that walks. We just like to cool off after a game, and parties are fun. I’ll show you now that we’re official. I can’t hide from the team, and I don’t give a fuck about what Cade will do next because now you know the secrets he was trying to spill during the fight. That version you saw tonight is just another side to me." I sigh, running my hands through my hair. "Don’t we all have sides to ourselves that not everyone sees?"

She shrugs like she might agree. "I guess you haven’t seen me with a pack of golden retrievers yet, so yeah, I guess I understand."

I chuckle, trying to imagine that. "I definitely need to see that side of you."

"I promise that you’re the first person I’ve ever felt like this for, Han. Our circumstances were not the best but––"

"Our moments have been pretty good."

I smile and then drop my mouth because it hurts my face.

I take a step closer, close enough that I can catch the faint vanilla scent that clings to her skin. "I've found something I didn't even know I was looking for." My voice drops lower, rougher. "Like every day I get to see you is a good day, no matter what else happens. Like you matter more than hockey, more than my future, more than anything."

She blinks rapidly, fresh tears threatening. "James—"

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