Page 10 of Through the Fire

“Thanks.”

“No problem. See you around,” I mumbled.

He grunted. “I hope so. Take care, Ms. Island.”

Watching him bop out of my shop sent a pang of regret through me, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I had to protect myself above all else. I’d already lost two lovers in this lifetime. I would not survive the weight of losing a third. Everything his presence awakened in me was proof he had the power to hurt me. I wouldn’t survive it, so I let him go knowing it was best for us both.

Iwas excited to inhale the scent of lavender. With Shy Shy’s hand in mine, I pulled open the door to A Little More Shea. The store was nearly packed with customers. My eyes perused the crowd until I found her in the corner helping someone. She looked so beautiful dressed in some distressed jeans with earth-toned flowers painted all over them, a fitted white cropped sweater, and a cute olive crochet hat she had tilted to the side. Even from across the room, I could tell she was in her element.

One of her associates walked up to me. “Hi, I’m Becca. Welcome to A Little More Shea. Can I help you find something?”

I shook my head. “Nah, I want her to help me.”

I pointed at Island in the corner.

Becca smiled and nodded. “Okay, cool.”

Once she walked away, I guided Shyla over to the oddly shaped, pink velvet couch Island had set up on one side of the store. The little nook was super cozy and chic with a splash of pink that complemented the earthy tones she seemed to love.

Shyla hopped on my lap with her iPad in hand. She already had a YouTube video up and loading. I pulled out my phone and scrolled on my Facebook to distract myself. After a few minutes, I stretched and yawned. I felt a wave of heat wash over me. When I looked up, I saw Island at the counter looking at me.

She waved with a blank expression. I waved back unable to hide my smile. It was always a pleasure seeing her. Today was my first time catching her in her element, and I fucked with it. She floated around the room like a butterfly. I was more entertained watching her help customer after customer than I was on social media.

At some point, my body started to feel heavy. Shyla had moved to sit beside me, so I slid down getting more comfortable. My head rested on the back of the couch. I allowed my eyes to drift close while inhaling lavender that relaxed every muscle in my body. Before I knew it, darkness took over.

* * *

Slowly,I started to come back to reality. I sat up realizing I’d dozed off to sleep. One by one, my senses started to reawaken. I twisted my head from side to side, trying to release the cramp I’d gotten from sleeping on Island’s weird ass sofa. I was too tall for anything about this dollhouse furniture to be comfortable.

I glanced to the right to see I was alone now. My head popped up, searching for my baby but she wasn’t hard to find. Her and Island were the only ones inside the shop besides me. She was happily helping her restock shelves. My weight crashed into the back of the sofa as I watched them.

Something Shyla said had Island’s head cocked back as she laughed. Seeing the two of them together like that shifted some shit around inside of me and held my breath captive. I didn’t want to entertain it, but a beam of hope started to unravel in my heart. Images of what it would be like to be with a woman like Island started flooding my mind like a movie. Tingling raced through my limbs from the peace it forced on me.

Izzy bent down, opening a jar then taking a seat on a mini footstool. I watched as she scooped out some and applied it to Shy Shy’s elbow. She was nothing like Kianni. From her personality to the way she handled Shyla, my baby was at ease around Island just like me. I loved to see her share the goofy little girl underneath the trauma of being raised with toxic parents. I knew my baby had a hole in her heart where her mother’s love should’ve been. A pang ripped through my heart knowing how deserving she was of that love. My daughter was perfect in every way.

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to shake the images. A feeling I knew all too well began to creep in finally dousing the spark of hope trying to spotlight itself. It was selfish as hell to be thinking about myself when Shy Shy needed to be my priority.

Scooping up her iPad from the couch, I stood up and headed toward where the two of them were dancing around the shop as Island swept up the day’s dirt tracked inside. She hadn’t realized I was up, so she jumped when I walked up on them.

“Oh, you’re up.”

Her chest heaved up and down as a hand covered her heart. I nodded and dropped my eyes to the floor.

“You looked exhausted, so that’s why I didn’t wake you.”

“It’s cool.” I tucked my hands in my pocket then turned to Shyla. “You ready, baby girl?”

Surprise washed across Island’s features before her usual poker face appeared. Shyla whined about not wanting to leave, but we had to go. The guilt was about to eat me alive.

“Well, I packed some things up for you to try out. Let me grab it before you go.”

She walked off without giving me a chance to respond. I stood awkwardly in place fighting an internal battle my mind was currently winning. When she returned it, was with a lime green paper bag.

“These are on the house. Let me know what you think.”

I nodded and backed away slowly. “I surely will. Shy, let’s go, baby.”

She rushed over to Island and tossed her arms around her waist. It saddened me when the gesture made Island laugh.

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