Page 11 of Just Is Not Enough

Daylightshinesthroughthewindow of my bedroom as I open my eyes. I check the time to see I only had about three hours sleep. My internal clock sucks for waking me up so early on a Sunday.

When I got home after 3 am this morning, I couldn’t stop thinking about my night with Kaden. I tossed and turned, attempting to fall asleep. My last time-check was a little after five this morning when exhaustion finally took hold of me.

Even now awake, my thoughts flock to him. Those stunning eyes looked so beautiful with tears flowing from them while down on his knees for me. His perfect lips seemingly at home around my cock, like they were right where they belonged all along. If I didn’t already have morning wood, I’d be stiff just from the images flooding my head right now.

I resign to having to get out of bed and amble to my ensuite bathroom for my morning routine. Jumping in the shower, with highest priority I tend to my aching dick that has Kaden’s name written all over it. Squeezing some body wash into my hand, I fist my cock and begin lazily stroking while more images of Kaden flash rapidly through my mind. I lean my forearm against the wall, head under the water letting it beat on the nape of my neck and down my back. Remembering the way Kaden let me fuck his face harder than I’ve ever done to someone has my balls drawing up tight, quicker than normally.

Recalling the sound of his voice saying my name sends tingling sensations down my legs. The way Kaden took charge has me wondering what other filthy orders would leave his mouth if my cock wasn’t down his throat. Pumping my fist faster, the only sounds I hear are the water sloshing in sync with it and the guttural groan leaving my throat, cum spewing against the tiled wall. My knees attempt to betray me when I catch myself, falling against the wall.

Geez, what is this guy doing to me?

By the time I finish washing up and get dressed for the day, different images of Kaden pop up in my memory. The expression on his face when he left the stall, both regretful and worried. The same expression when they were turning to leave for the night. What was he scared of? Me?

He made it clear he was aware I was straight. Obviously, I’m not a run-of-the-mill ‘straight guy.’ I mean, most straight guys don’t follow other guys into the bathroom to get their dicks sucked, right?

Although, I’ve heard some of Gabe’s stories about his ‘experimenters’ as he referred to them. The so-called straight guys he hooked up with in the clubs he frequented. Is that how Kaden sees me? And why would that scare him?

I guess I am an ‘experimenter,’ considering last night was my first queer experience. The fact that I liked it speaks volumes. It was more than that though. I enjoyed Kaden’s company equally as much. It was all so easy and left me wanting a repeat, many if I’m honest with myself.

I temporarily push all of it to the back of my mind, it’s too much for me to unravel right now.

I make my way into the kitchen and hear the tell-tale sound of a neglected cat behind me, meowing because he hasn’t been fed as soon as he rolled out of bed. Fred, my ginger Maine Coon, may be the most affectionate cat I’ve ever met, but when he’s hungry he becomes grumpier than Red Forman on a good day. With the show being a favorite of mine, everyone initially thought I was being creative with the surly character’s name and came up with Fred.

In reality he was named after this havoc-wreaking character that was an imaginary friend, named Fred, to a little girl in one of my favorite movies as a child. The hippie aunt’s loved watching old 90’s movies when I visited them. My Fred certainly lived up to his namesake’s personality if he’s not properly fed.

I hastily scoop some of his canned food into his bowl and plop it on the floor for him, filling his water bowl to the brim, as well. With a now happy Fred, the silence returns to the room.

The lack of noise leaves me alone with my thoughts, again. They roam back to last night, to him.

Ugh, this is a bigger deal than I first thought.

I attempt to distract myself, collapsing on the couch and opening my laptop to start working on the menu more. We finalized the starters portion a few days ago. Refining those dishes in the kitchen to perfect them starts this week. I’ve already chosen too many entrees to include on the menu that I now need to narrow the list down. It’s either that or try to reduce the cost of each dish by choosing less expensive items. I would much rather offer fewer choices, with higher quality ingredients, than risk the integrity of my food. You’re only as good as your last dish.

I make it through cutting down the entrees and finalizing the salads offered when I startle, hearing my phone’s rapid shrills in my quiet living room. Fred fusses on the couch beside me where he’s been resting. Not enjoying the disturbance during his nap, he jumps off the couch and strolls down the hallway towards my bedroom.

I grab my phone and find multiple messages from Jackson. Glancing at the time, I realize I’ve been working on my menu for a couple hours now.

is it too soon to call her?

maybe I should text her first, right?

what am I thinking of course I should text her

why would I call her?!

nobody calls anyone anymore

we send everyone to vm

yeah text her. That’s totally what I should do

thanks, bro

I can’t help but laugh at the rambling. In classic Jackson fashion, he has an entire conversation debating with himself in my messages. This may be one of those times I should stop him from his impulsive behavior. Then again, I don’t know about dating etiquette anymore. I can’t remember the last time I thought about contacting a woman the day after. I wonder if I would want to reach out to Kaden had I gotten his number last night. Fuck, now he’s back in my head.

I don’t have to wonder too long if I’d contact him, I know. That text would have been sent when I first opened my eyes this morning. I know I shouldn’t let anyone divert my focus from the restaurant, but he has me wanting him more than anyone in my past. It’s not only the amazing head he gave me, it’s surely the best I’ve ever had, but getting to know him and having fun seeing him go from shy and awkward, to confident and commanding. It was enthralling to say the least.

I meant what I said. When I told him I wasn’t done with him, it was equal parts, wanting more of him and hating having been rejected. I’m not used to being dismissed easily. Especially right after any kind of sexual encounter. Call me childish, but it lit a fire in me, making meneedfor him to want me as much as I want him.

---