Page 129 of Bodybuilders for the BBW

“We wanted to ask you that,” Rhett snapped, making clear how he felt about my decision.

“Helen’s daughter was induced early,” I explained. “It was a medical emergency.”

“It always is.” Rhys shook his head, none of his usual good humour evident. “But fuck, why does it always have to be you that rides in on your horse and saves the day? You can play white knight if you want to, but not with a dog that depends on you.”

“And not if it hurts Katie.”

Rhett was beyond pissed. Every word was bitten off as if it personally offended him.

“Where’s Katie?” I asked, something spiking hard in my chest. “Where’s Katie, and where’s my dog?”

“Gone.”

I don’t even know who said that, their reply half obscured by a weird ringing sound inside my head. It shook from side to side, as if that would dispel the sound. Right then I saw it, the moment when Natasha turned around and rejected the lot of us, but rather than her lips forming the words, they were Katie’s.

It was happening again. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I worked, everyone always walked away. My heart was beating too slowly, years passing between each pulse, my face cold and numb.

“Gone where?”

It hurt to say those words, but I said them anyway.

“To her grandparent’s place, at least that’s what Mandie said. She didn’t want to tell me where, but I’ve been bugging her, and I’ve got an address.”

“We need to go.”

As soon as I said that, all my commitments rose up, demanding my attention. I had work tomorrow morning, and I’d need a good eight hours of sleep if I was to be useful at all. My intention was to visit Anna and Helen in the maternity ward and see if they needed anything. It felt like hands, so many hands were reaching out, asking for help, and I didn’t know how to meet the needs of them all besides the same way I did everything. Push myself harder and make it happen. I sucked in a breath, ready to negotiate something, when Rhett shook his head.

“If we go, then we jump in feet first.” His arms crossed his chest. “We made a commitment to Katie the other night. It’s past time we made good on that.”

Before I could reply, Rhys spoke up.

“Natasha came by today.”

“Natasha?”

Rhett seemed as surprised as I was by that information.

“She had a whole lot to say, but most of all about Katie. Natasha’s friends with Mandie and has been coaching our girl through the whole polyam thing.” Rhys looked at Rhett, then me, his brows pulled down in a frown. “She hoped that we’d gotten our shit together over the years, but apparently we’ve failed on that front.”

I didn’t want to know what Natasha had to say about this, somehow I knew. If I could’ve left this room, I would’ve.

“That we have a fifth entity in our relationship, stopping us from properly committing to a girl. Natasha didn’t break up with us because she didn’t want anything serious.” Rhys said.

“It’s because we couldn’t get serious about her…”

It all made sense now. The look on Natasha’s face when I had to slip away and go into work, the complaints she made about not knowing which one of us would be there when we made plans for a date. Initially, it had been exciting, new, but then reality had to show its ugly face, and Natasha had decided she wasn’t down with that. In my head, I thought we did things right with Katie. We were upfront about our work commitments, let her choose to be with us or not, but…

Not all choices, even ones freely made, are the right ones.

“So do you know where Katie is?” I unlocked my phone and tapped out an email to Nora, the unit manager. A text would mean I would get an instant response, and I knew I wouldn’t like it. “Can we go and find her?”

“Mandie relented and let me know where Katie and Bronson are headed. She’ll be at her grandparents’ place in the country by now,” Rhys replied.

“Do you have an address?” I asked. He nodded. “Alright, let's go.”

“We’re not coming back.” Rhett grabbed my arm, forcing me to stare him down. “Not until we’ve worked this out.”

“Got the message loud and clear.” I held up my phone, displaying the email I’d just sent. “I’ve notified Nora that I won’t be at work until further notice. I screwed up.” I looked both men in the eye. “I shouldn’t have said yes to Helen. I should’ve…” My hands rose and fell hopelessly. “But I didn’t, and now I need to try to make amends for that mistake. Let's go get our girl.”

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