Page 101 of Bodybuilders for the BBW

“Shut the fuck up.” She stared openly at me, suddenly too pale, but quickly enough, a smile spread across her face. “They didn’t.” Her elbows hit the table, and I was shocked Mum didn’t appear to tell her off for that. “Why the hell didn’t you lead with that story? So you had committed relationship orgies afterwards?”

“Yes.” I shifted slightly. “Which is harder on the body than you’d expect.” My eyes rolled her way. “Got a training schedule for sex marathons, because I think I pulled a hammy last night.”

Mandie sat back, a smug smile on her face.

“Katie’s got a boyfriend. Katie’s got a boyfriend.” Of course, as she started to chant that in a singsong voice, Mum walked in. I frantically gestured for my sister to shut the hell up, but when did Mandie ever listen to me? “Katie’s got three boyfriends!”

“She what?” Mum looked from one to the other of us. “Well, it sounds like one of you has news to share. Bill! Your daughter has apparently got three boyfriends.”

Well, at least this wasn’t awkward.

The table was uncharacteristically quiet. Dad kept poking his steak that was a little more than well done, obviously traumatised by the fact his favourite dinner got burned. That and the fact I was getting the good dick from three guys.

“So what do they do again?” he asked, daring to meet my eyes.

Dad seemed to be taking it the worst.

“Rhys is the business owner. He runs the gym Mandie shoots content in,” I explained.

“And he’s a good man?” Mum asked my sister that, not me, as if my judgement wasn’t to be trusted.

“Seems like it.” Mandie winked at me. “He’s got good taste in women and he’s looking after Katie’s soul dog.”

“Well, he likes animals. That’s a plus.”

Mum’s tone was too bright, as if she was one step away from a nervous breakdown.

“And the others?” Dad sighed and pushed his plate away, facing down the table with his arms crossed. “What do they do? Do they like dogs as well?”

He didn’t sound like he wanted to know the answer to that, but I forged on.

“Garrett is a nurse.”

“A male nurse? That’s a good solid job, isn’t it, Bill?” Mum was trying so damn hard, nudging Dad in the ribs, but he didn’t move an inch.

“He’s the one that adopted Bronson,” I said.

“And he what? Decided to adopt you and share you with his friends?” Dad raked a hand through his hair. “Sweetheart, you know I love you?—”

“Now, Bill, kids today, they do things a bit different. There were plenty of swingers when we were growing up,” Mum said.

“I don’t want my daughter being passed around like a set of car keys, Janey.” He fixed me with a steady gaze. “I wanted better for you.”

“Better than three guys that treat me like a princess?” Who was telling my parents off? Oh, that was me. I remembered each one of the guys’ declarations then, and that had me forging on. “That make sure to take me out on real dates, who tell other women to piss off because they belong to me and only me.” I stared at each person at the table, mutely pleading for them to understand. “It may have taken me way too long to find a guy that treats me right. The fact it’s actually three isn’t a big deal for me, and if it doesn’t worry me, I’m not sure why it would you.”

“I don’t care what consenting adults do in their own homes,” Mum said in a placating voice. “But it’s different when it’s your own daughter. You’ll understand if you ever have kids.”

“What about kids?” Dad said, patently grabbing at straws. “How will your children deal with having three dads?”

“We’ve gone straight to theoretical children.” Mandie took a long drink from her glass. “Glad to see we’re dealing with this logically, not emotionally.”

“Kids are cruel.” Dad was using the same ‘see sense’ tone he used when I wanted to pierce my nose and dye my hair green. I still wish I’d gone through with the dye job. “You’d remember that better than anyone, love.” Ouch. I flopped back against my chair, because that felt like a body blow. “Can you really say you’d want to bring a child into the world with the odds stacked against them?”

“I don’t want kids.” Mum gasped at that, but hell, was that really that much of a surprise? “I’ve never wanted to have them. When Mandie…” Now it was my sister’s chance to wave her hands frantically, trying to stop this conversation dead. “Decides to have them, I will happily be the best damn auntie I can be, but…” I stared each parent in the eyes, making clear how serious I was. “I’m not having kids myself, so if there’s any other objections…?”

Silence, blessed silence, returned to the table, but right as I picked up my knife and fork to try and redirect our attention back to our meals, Dad had the final word.

“I want to meet them.”

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