Page 45 of Her Wolf of a Duke

“It has to me, which is why I am asking you. Is never seeing me again what you want?”

She went to answer, but at that moment the music ended.

Yes, she told herself, say yes and be done with it!

But she did not say a word. Instead, she curtseyed and excused herself. The drink was beginning to have an effect on her, and she did not know how long she could control herself for before she gave in entirely. She needed time, and she needed to think, and so she went to the veranda.

She knew perfectly well she would not be alone for long.

CHAPTER 15

Levi could tell from the look Miss Kendall had given him that he had wanted her to follow him, but he gave himself a moment before doing so. He knew that she would be alone, and that was dangerous, but all eyes were on the dancefloor and he felt that he could slip away without being seen.

When he did step outside, however, Miss Kendall seemed unusual. She had always held herself well, but she was leaning onto the balcony, breathing shallowly. As he approached, a small groan reached his ears.

“Miss Kendall?” he asked, and she turned sharply to him before wincing.

“My apologies,” she said in a slightly pained tone. “The evening air has made me– well, in all honesty I believe it was the brandy.”

“Brandy?”

“Cecilia gave me a few drinks that she had mixed,” she explained. “It was unwise to take them, but then I have hardly done anything intelligent of late.”

“That isn’t true.”

“But it is. You may not believe me, but there was a time when I knew everything about everyone, and did all of this with ease. Now, I can hardly form a sentence without stumbling over my words. I do not recognize myself, and I do not know what to do about that.”

“If you ask me, I would say that you need not do anything. You are wonderful the way you are.”

“Do not say that.”

“But it is the truth.”

“Please,” she begged. “Do not say anything nice to me. I do not like it. I do not like how it makes me feel.”

“And how does it make you feel?”

“It makes me feel as though I am doing something very wrong. I wish to be alone. I must think.”

“Well, if you cannot think regardless, you might as well enjoy my company.”

“I do not enjoy it!”

“Why not? What is it about me that you take such issue with?”

“You are a rake,” she snapped, stumbling slightly. “You are a rake, and a ruiner, and I have never wanted you near my sister. I have spent far too long protecting her for you to ruin her!.”

“I have never been near your sister.”

He had made what he thought was a fair point, but it seemed to enrage her. He was aware that she wanted him to leave, or at least that was what she was telling her to do, but he was quite concerned that, if he left her to her own devices, she might stumble over the balcony.

“You have been near me,” she replied. “That has done more than enough damage.”

“You say that, but you cannot act as though you did not enjoy our time together. I could see it in your face that you found everything we did together fun, and so you cannot lie and tell me that you did not.”

She was standing close to him, which he liked as a general principle. More importantly tonight, it meant that he could take hold of her if necessary. She was beautiful, which had beenprecisely why he had been unable to take his eyes off of her all evening.And yet, there was more to it than that. She was intelligent, and she was the first lady to see him for who he was, rather than his title. She had been the first lady to make him see the man he had led society to see him as, and he had not liked what he had seen.

Then again, he was most like himself when Miss Kendall was around, and that man was the sort of man he could truly respect.

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