Page 89 of The Unwanted Duchess

Immediately after confessing that he had been violent to her.

He had wanted to discuss the Earl with Adam and try to learn more about him so that he could confront him himself at a better time, but when they had come back, Samantha was gone. Adam had tried to comfort him and told him that it had been a difficult conversation, and she had perhaps gone to bed, but he knew her better than that. She was far too polite to go to bed without saying goodnight, especially if they had a guest.

He already knew where she was, but he gave her the benefit of the doubt and checked her room. He found the note immediately, and his fears were confirmed. She thought shecould confront her father alone because she did not want him to be a part of it.

Now they were home again, and she was trying to make him talk to her about what had happened as if it had not been her own fault. She could have waited. He could have been with her. They could have had Adam there to prove that they were not speaking about unfounded claims. Instead, she had gone alone and gotten into trouble. Had he not followed her, well, he did not wish to think about that.

What mattered was that she was home and safe, but she did not wish to go to bed. She wanted to speak with him as if it was not the very same thing that he had wanted to do in order to avoid all of this to begin with, but she had pressured him enough. If she wanted to talk, then they would.

“Have you any idea how frustrating it is not to be listened to?” he asked.

“It is how I have lived my life, so I should think I do, yes.”

“Then why would you do that to me?”

“I did listen to you.”

“You disobeyed me, then?”

“I was unaware that you could tell me what to do and expect me to do it simply because you said so.”

“That is not what I meant, and you know it.”

“Then what did you mean? That is precisely what you said. You told me not to go, and I disobeyed orders. Therefore, you ordered me. Therefore, you believe that you have the right to give me orders.”

“Or, perhaps I have the right to tell my wife what I think, and if I think that it is a bad idea to confront the same man that has treated you so terribly for years, then I might actually be correct, and you might have been better off listening to me.”

“It is a family matter,” she protested.

“Then what am I?” he asked in return, and she fell silent.

It had never been part of their agreement to see each other as family. They were to be friends at most. It was easier that way, and it had been exactly what he had wanted until somewhere along the way he had fallen for her. He could not pinpoint the exact moment, nor could he honestly say that it had hit him all at once. Instead, it had crept up on him without him knowing, and now, he was too far gone to be able to push it aside, and it was torture.

Made far worse, that was, by her pushing him away.

“You are my husband,” she replied at last. “The one I am supposed to find comfort in, not receive lectures from. I amnot a child. I am supposed to be your equal, deserving of your respect.”

“Why can you not see that it was out of respect for you that I did not want you to go there alone? I know that you are capable of everything I am, but just this once, I wanted to be beside you and show you that you did not have to do this alone. I want to be at your side. Why won’t you let me?”

“Because I am afraid.”

“Afraid of me?”

He hoped that she would say no. He willed her to say no because any other answer would have destroyed him.

“Not you. Never you. I am afraid of what you represent. If I trust you as much as I wish to, then I put myself in danger the same way I did as a child that trusted my father. I have no way of knowing whether or not you will be kind to me in ten years or twenty, and if I unfold myself to you, then you have far more power than my father ever did.”

It was his turn to fall silent.

“Is that what you wanted to hear?” she continued, exasperated. “I have been so afraid to enjoy my time with you that I have found it easier to run away. I would rather not look like a fool again.”

“You are not a fool. I could never have married a fool. I would have sooner let you be ruined.”

“Do not attempt to flatter me in such a manner.”

“If it is flattery, it is not insincere. It is the truth; you are an intelligent lady that is willing to do what you can without burdening others. I only wish that you would stop seeing yourself as said burden. I want to be there for you. I want to help you.”

“Why? We are friends, are we not? That was the deal, if I recall correctly, and I often do. We were never supposed to have our lives entwined with one another. You were to live yours, and I mine. Why do you not want that to be the case all of a sudden?”

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