“In which case, I shall ensure there are sandwiches as well as biscuits,” Diana noted. “What happened?”
“He hated it.”
“The drawing room?”
At last, Samantha was able to cry. She felt dreadful doing it in front of her sister, but there was a strange calm that washed over her while she did. It was a release, exactly as she had been needing.
Diana was, of course, in shock at this. She took Samantha’s arm and led her to the drawing room and seated her on the sofa. Samantha felt unable to explain what had happened because she was yet to think it through herself. It had not made any sense, and it was not as though Graham was willing to speak with her about it.
“We argued,” she said at last. “He told me I should not have changed the room, and that it was his last connection to his mother.”
“Surely he saw that his mother’s presence was all throughout the room?”
“Either he did not see it, or he did not care. In any case, I could not stand to be near him. I stayed in my room all day today, and now, I am here because I do not know what else to do.”
“What you need to do is give the both of you time to think about it all and then talk to one another like the adults you are.”
“You did not see him, Di. He was so incredibly angry with me, and I have never seen him like that before. I have only ever seen one man like that, and that was Father. I cannot look at him, not if he is going to be angry with me like that.”
Diana laughed softly, rubbing her sister’s arm.
“Do you suppose that my husband and I never disagree?”
“Of course not,” Samantha sighed, “but I highly doubt that you raise your voices at one another.”
“Not anymore, no, because we learned how to be married, but it was not easy throughout. There will be challenges and misunderstandings along the way, and you are bound to make mistakes. That goes for both of you.”
“I am more than willing to admit that I made a mistake if he will only tell me what it is that I have done wrong!”
“Then, when the tensions have settled, tell him that. He has undergone many changes just as you have. You need to give him the grace that you also require, and he shall follow suit.To my knowledge, neither of you had what one might call good influences.”
“That is not true — I had you.”
“And what did your husband have? Who was there to guide him?”
Samantha thought for a moment. Diana was, as she so often was, correct. Graham had only ever had his mother to show him how to be a good person, and he lost her at a young age. He was doing his best, and she knew deep down that he did not hate her. He had never said as much, and until then, his actions had only ever proven the opposite to be true.
“It was an argument,” Samantha said gently, “but you are right. We are bound to have those. I should go.”
“No, stay,” Diana said gently. “It is dark outside, and I would hate for something to happen to you. Stay the night and then return tomorrow, once you have both had some time to think.”
The tea arrived, and Samantha realized just how hungry she was. She wanted to go home as she did not wish to intrude, but she knew it was best to stay with her sister. She was safe there, and she would be able to sleep rather than force herself through a difficult conversation beforehand.
Once she awoke, however, well-rested and with a clearer mind, she knew what had to be done. She would find Graham andmake him speak to her and tell her what she had done wrong. If nothing else were to come of the discussion, then she would at least know that she had done all that she could to apologize. She spent the day with Diana and her family, trying to prepare herself for what would come, and then she left just before nightfall.
“You can do this,” Diana promised her as they stood in the doorway. “It is not as frightening as you think that it is. Besides, you always were the more intelligent one of the two of us. You can do this.”
“I was better with books. I do not know the first thing about what it is to be a wife; I ignored all of your lessons because I never thought that I would be one!”
“Then it is just as well that you are a quick study, for you shall have to learn and fast. You can do this, though, I have never once doubted that.”
Samantha did not have the energy to protest any further. She knew that she would have to expend it in the inevitable argument that would come upon her return home. It was easier to thank her sister and begin her journey, and the entire way there, she thought about what Graham would say. Would he scold her a second time? Would he find a way to annul their marriage and be rid of her? Was that what she wanted?
Nothing made her mind stop running away from her. Nothing made any sense, and it was rare that she felt that way. She had always known what to do, even if it had been a bad idea or thewrong thing to do, but once she met the Duke, it was as though the judgment that she had prided herself on left her completely, and when she entered her house, everything made even less sense.
Her husband had been crying.
CHAPTER 25