Page 5 of The Unwanted Duchess

Perhaps, Samantha thought, there would be more comfort in being unknown.

That was what had been the most painful in all of it. Not the threat of marriage, not the demands of her father that seemed to grow evermore impossible to meet, not even his actions when she could not meet them. It was her uncertainty. She simply did notknowanymore, and that was something that she had never felt before.

It might have gotten her into trouble, but she used to have a voice. The night Diana had met her husband, it was at a ball that Samantha had wanted to attend because she had wanted to speak with scholars. She knew it would not end well, but she knew that she needed to try. It did, indeed, end in embarrassment, but she had at least known that she wanted to do it.

Now she was confronted by a man that was once again looking at her, and she did not know how he was making her feel. Was she angry? Perhaps, though not entirely with him. Was she uncomfortable? Certainly, but not simply because he was looking at her. It simply did not make any sense, and once more, she was left confused.

The confusion infuriated her. She was supposed to be the intelligent one. Was this how her father felt? Lesser than, embarrassed, unwanted? It was certainly how he was treated at least. She looked at the silver tray of glasses, sparkling in the candlelight, and for the first time in her life, that one little thought came to her.

If it helps him, perhaps it will help me too?

She knew it would be a terrible thing to do. She knew it would only end badly, but with how little she trusted her own feelings, it was a simple choice to make. She strode over, snatched a glass, and finished it in one swallow.

And it burned.

She looked around, wondering just how much judgment would be passed now that she had truly done something bad, but there was nothing. Nobody seemed to take any notice, and it was divine. They were not interested in what she was doing anymore; they had grown tired of her.

“Where is the lady from before?” she asked, and the other guests seemed to look amongst themselves, puzzled.

“Oh, she left,” Samantha continued with a giggle. “Terribly sorry. Enjoy your evening!”

She took a second glass and headed for the door. The second that she stepped into the cool air, it all hit her harder. She tried to tell herself that it was not the alcohol as she tipped back the second glass. There was that burn once more, and it was almost pleasurable.

No wonder her father did it so often.

It should have been a sad thought to have, one that might have even been quite sobering, but given everything that had happened, Samantha could only find the humor in it.

“Like father like daughter,” she hummed into the silence before collapsing onto the grass. “From one disappointment comes another.”

The ground was cool, and the leftover dew from the day felt wonderful against her skin. She had been burning up from all that had happened, and she knew that, but she no longer cared about any of it. She no longer had the capability to care. All that was in her mind was how cold the air was and how nice it felt.

“What on Earth are you doing?” a voice thundered.

Her father had found her, and Samantha could not care a bit about hurrying to her feet, which was just as well because it was suddenly a lot harder than usual.

“I’ve been having a nice evening,” she hiccupped.

“Samantha, what have you done?”

“Had a nice evening,” she repeated, giggling as she hiccupped again.

The Earl’s eyes fell to the glass on the ground, and he picked it up and smelled it.

“Have you beendrinking?”

“Only two. It isn’t a problem.”

“Only two? Samantha, you have never had a drink before; it is completely — It does not matter. Go to your bed chambers.”

“No,” she whined. “I am having such fun. That is what you want, isn’t it, Father? You want me to enjoy my time here and find a husband and spend my life in bliss as any good father would. You are simply just soselfless.”

“Samantha, bed. Now.”

“Why, are you afraid that I shall embarrass you? Are you concerned that the state that I am in will make people look down on you? Not to worry, I have felt the same way for years now.”

A small part of her knew that she needed to be quiet and simply do as she was told before she made everything worse, but it was drowned out by the larger and more frightening part of her that wanted to be very angry, indeed.

“Samantha —”

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