Page 77 of The Unwanted Duchess

Graham had been scolding himself since the moment she left the room.

He had never, and would never, raise his hand to a lady. It was not who he was, and he had been so sure that Samantha had at least thought that much of him. When she ran, however, he realized that he had been wrong. She saw that he was quick to anger, willing to raise a hand at her, and thought the worst of him. It had pulled him out of his outburst, for he was only trying to point to the curtains, but it had been too late.

She was gone, and he did not want to do any damage by following her.

It did not matter how much he had wanted to. He had frightened her, and it was now for him to sit and wait as punishment for what he had done. He did not have the right to storm over to her and demand a continuation when he had been so beastly.

And so he went to his study and waited. He waited to hear her leave her room so that he could speak with her. He wanted to apologize, for he had not meant to have such a strong reaction. Now that he was in his study, he wondered why he was even so angry. She was right, he had told her to change everything, and it was unfair of him to expect her to know what he wanted when he had not told her.

He waited and waited, but there was no movement. She did not come to dinner, and the next day, she did not come to breakfast. Graham did not want to disturb her, and so he did not go directly to her room, but the more he waited, the more agony he was in. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how she must have felt, and how his presence in the house seemed to make her a prisoner in her own home. He had so wanted her to feel as though it were her home, too, and now…

By nightfall, he had had enough. If she was not going to come to him, then he decided that he had to go to her. He did not wish to intrude, but she had left him with no other choice. When he arrived at her room, however, there was no answer. He knocked and knocked, wondering if she had simply fallen asleep, but still there was nothing.

If she was ignoring him deliberately, he had to admit that he deserved that, but something told him that it was not right. Something had to have happened because she had never been the ignoring sort. Against his better judgment, he tried to open the door, and it was not locked.

The room was empty.

Thus began the worst hours of his life. She could have been anywhere, for he did not know when she had left, and therefore he could not go and find her himself. He simply had to sit and trust that she would return. He did not sleep, of course. One could never sleep when someone they cared so deeply for had abandoned them under the worst of circumstances.

The following day, he wandered the halls, eyeing the dreaded drawing room that he wished he had never seen. It had ruined everything, and he did not know if he could fix it.

Suddenly, that evening, there she was. She seemed rested and yet exhausted all at once. She was standing in front of him, staring right at him, and he did not know what to do. He did not dare approach her for fear of scaring her off once more, but he did not want her to think that he wanted her to keep away from him.

“I believe we need to talk,” Samantha said quietly, and he simply nodded.

She walked to his study, and he followed after her. He did not want to speak; he wanted her to tell him everything that was on her mind, and all of the ways he had been awful so that he could apologize to her.

But he also had to ask her something, and he did not know how to.

“I wish to begin by apologizing,” she said, and he froze.

“Do not.”

“I must. I acted without asking you first, and it is no wonder that I angered you.”

“But you did ask. I was not precise in what I told you. In truth, I do not know what came over me. That man was not me, and I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you if I must.”

She put a finger to her lips, and he obliged.

“We will handle this matter later,” she said firmly, “But first, I want to tell you that we will never speak to one another like that again. I will not stand for it, and I would hope that you feel precisely the same. It will not make a good marriage, and above all, that is what I want.”

“I feel the same way, believe me.”

“Then it is settled. We shall not raise our voices at one another again, nor will we raise a hand.”

“Samantha, that is not — I was so afraid that you had thought that of me. I would never do that to you. I would not even threaten it. Why did you think that was what I was doing?”

She froze.

“Was it truly not what you were doing?”

“God, no. I would never do that to a lady, especially not you. Samantha, I wanted to ask you since last night about this. I do not know how to say it. Has someone ever — has someone ever been violent towards you?”

Her silence said it all. Her unwillingness to lie to him was clear, but so was her unwillingness to tell him who it had been. She simply nodded her head.

“It was your father, wasn’t it?” he asked, and suddenly, she lurched forward.

“Only on a few occasions,” she said quickly, “And never to Diana. It only began after she was married, likely because he had this scheme planned for her, and it did not work as he expected it to and —”

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