Page 36 of A Recipe Called Home

"But, curious, what do you have to figure out?”

Jules filled Val in on her recent decisions, while Rosa nodded, chiming in about how strong and independent Jules has always been. It felt good to share without fear of judgment. Jules would have to learn to own this decision, and tonight was helping.

Out of nowhere, Val slapped her cards down on the table, accidentally showing her hand.

“I have an idea!” she shouted. “Since you’ll have more free time and I assume you’ll be around for a little longer, why don’t you cook for the ladies a few nights a week at The Landing? We’ll pay you, of course! And you can use the big commercial kitchen and all!”

“That’s a wonderful suggestion,” Grandma Rosa said in shared excitement.

Jules thought about it and shrugged her shoulders. Why not? It’s not like her grandma needed her here every night. She was doing just fine on her own. Plus, it would be nice to keep cooking and stretching her skills. It was the only thing that gave her a sense of accomplishment lately. She could use more of that in her life right now. It would give her an opportunity to make more of her grandma’s recipes with access to a fully stocked and large kitchen at her disposal.

“Ok, sure. When do I start?” she asked.

“How about tomorrow?”

“How about Monday?” Jules replied. Tomorrow, Jules would be at the celebration ‘party’ Winnie was planning, and she didn’t want to make her reschedule.

“Done,” said Val before they got back to playing their card game.

Although Jules didn’t win a single hand all night, she loved seeing her grandma having fun. It had been years since she’d heard Rosa laugh with her whole body. It was the way her grandpa used to make her laugh with his silly, and often terrible, jokes, and tonight she heard it several times.

Even with the looming unknown hanging over her head, Jules knew she had a strong support system that wouldn’t let her fail. She vowed to never let them down, either. A warm sensation spread through her chest as she recounted the evening later that night, lying in bed, just before dozing off. The peace didn’t last; recollections of Miles singing to her plagued her dreams all night long.

***

Before the party on Sunday night, Jules agreed to join Winnie at the dress rehearsal ofOur Townat the high school. It would be the first time the students rehearsed the play start to finish, costumes and all. When Winnie called Jules to ask for her help, she reeked of nervous energy. To be fair, it was the first time she’d directed a school play, and she didn’t exactly know what she was doing. Not that Jules had any more experience either, but she was happy to be there for her in any way she could. While Jules got ready, throwing on a pair of jeans and a flowy top she could wear to the party later, she received a text message from Miles.

Remember this place? Heard you’re back. Hope the trip went well.

Attached to the message was a picture of the eighth hole on Riverbend’s only golf course, Old Elm Club. Of course, she knew the place. It was the same golf course Miles had worked at the summer of their junior year, along with several other odd jobs. And hole eight had a special history with them.

Jules remembered the first time they snuck onto it. It was a warm, dewy summer night with not a single cloud overhead. He’d picked her up at her grandparents' just before sunset and drove the backroads to the staff entrance off the main road.

He parked behind the large dumpsters at the edge of the lot and led her to the back door of the white shiplap club house, where he took out the set of keys the owners gave him to lock up at night and used them to open the door, tilting his head to her with a conspiratorial smile. She remembered smacking his shoulder, whispering that they could get caught. He just waved her off and told her they had to live a little.

After they’d plundered the kitchen for leftover sandwich bread, cheese, and some pasta, they hiked through the course to hole eight, where Miles had left a blanket in the woods earlier that day. He’d planned it all out.

Hole eight was the most difficult and private hole on the entire course. Surrounded by walls of tall pine trees on three sides, the hole opened to a shallow pond just below the hill it sat on. It was the perfect spot for a picnic dinner beneath the stars without anyone spotting them. And so that’s what they did, as often as they could the summer before their senior year. It was where they lost their virginities together on the checkered blanket Miles kept in the back of the car he borrowed from his cousin. It became their spot, one of the only places they could be alone together.

Jules stared at the phone screen for a minute, heart hammering in her chest. She owed Miles an explanation, she knew that. And his text meant he was testing the waters, likely wondering if their time together had come to an end, again.

Jules didn’t know how to respond. They weren’t together now, but they weren’t just “friends” either. If she was going to give herself the time and space to figure out what she wanted out of life next, it meant being honest not only with herself, but with the people in her life, which now included Miles. She typed out a brief text and hit send.

Hey. It went well, thanks. Can you meet me at the high school at 3 p.m.? There’s something I want to talk to you about. Thanks.

It sounded ominous, but she did not want to have this conversation via text. They were adults now. It should be done face-to-face. Plus, he needed to know she meant it when she told him she wanted to be friends, even if he couldn’t or wouldn’t do that.

Miles responded with a thumbs-up.

Pulling into the parking lot just before three o’clock, she spotted Miles’ convertible already parked in the staff section with his golf clubs still poking out of the backseat, waiting. He was wearing a light blue polo shirt, his skin a tanned gold that made his green eyes stand out even more in the bright sun of midday. Her heart fluttered at the sight as she slid into the spot next to him and climbed out and into his passenger seat. She was more nervous than she expected.

“Hey. How was your round of golf?” she asked as casually as she could.

“Fine. It was a good day for it.” Then he turned toward her and asked, “What did you want to talk about?”

Ok, so no easing into it, Jules thought to herself. It’s better this way.

“Well, I know I haven’t told you much about my personal life and that’s because it’s kind of been up in the air,” she said, not intending to be so vague. “But after my trip back to D.C., I realized I…I don’t know…” She paused, trying to find the right words. “I don’t know what I want.”

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