Page 28 of A Recipe Called Home

“But, it can be lonely. Sometimes, I wonder if all the work is worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing and creating, but lately I’ve felt detached from purpose. It’s hard to explain." She ducked her chin to her chest under his warm arm.

How could she put it into words when she didn’t understand it herself? She’d only started thinking about it in the last few weeks, although she could tell it had been lingering in the back of her mind for some time now. And being here, wrapped in his arms surrounded by his scent, the last thing she wanted to think about was D.C. It felt so far away, memories of it coming in broken and unclear.

“When do you go back?” he asked, stiffening.

“In a couple weeks. I suppose I could go back at any time now. Grandma Rosa seems to get along fine on her own. She doesn’t need me like I thought.”

“Hmm, maybe she doesn’t need you to take care of her physically, but I’m willing to bet she still needs you,” he said into her shoulder, kissing it and pulling her tighter.

“You’re probably right. But enough about me. What made you come back to Riverbend? Did it have anything to do with Mr. Fedema?” Jules stretched her neck to put a little space between them.

“Yes and no. It was a series of things that led me back.”

Miles continued, telling her about the hard years that followed high school graduation. About moving to Chicago with his cousin, Ricky, two days after receiving his diploma in the mail, although leaving out details from prom night.

Jules’ heart broke as she learned about him living in a rundown apartment on a questionable side of the city for a few years as his cousin became more and more entangled with an illegal drug operation. At first, it was just selling weed here and there, which Miles even took part in to make some extra cash to supplement his meager income as a pizza deliveryman, but it got out of control.

“It was a low point in my life. I never thought about the future. College seemed like a thing that was for other people, not me, a broken, hopeless young man with no prospects and a criminal record,” he lamented.

“Did you stop playing music?”

“Not right away. Eventually I sold my instruments for the cash. By then, it didn’t even matter. I was bouncing from job to job, just trying to get by. I’d lost myself, and Ricky was the only person who’d stuck around. I tried my best to keep him at arm’s length, because I knew what he was involved in. But it was hard, the Miles you used to know was gone,” he said, voice cracking with a pained look pinching his face.

“And then, a few years in, Ricky got busted in a massive sting operation. Turned out he was selling more than just weed. It was bad, and he’s still in jail. He will be for a long time. When it happened, I even felt guilty for not being with him. I thought maybe I could have done something to prevent it.”

He took a deep steadying breath. “But it ultimately served as a wake-up call. It was Roxy and Jax who convinced me to get out of the city. They knew some friends up in Michigan who had a place for rent and could get me a job as a late-night truck driver, so that’s what I did.”

Jules didn’t know what to say. Never in her wildest dreams did she think it could have been this bad for him. While she was heartbroken and in a dark place during that time, she was also living in a safe college dorm, going to classes and learning, not worrying about making rent or being caught up in something illegal. It seemed too unreal to fathom.

“Oh Miles, I’m so sorry you went through that,” was all she could say, pulling him closer.

“It feels like another life altogether now. And I’m grateful it happened when it did. It allowed me another shot at building something decent and stable."

Jules felt so much adoration for this man who could now look back on a time like that and see the good in it. It reminded her of the kind soul she fell in love with years ago.

“For a few years, I just worked and slept, saving up money. I didn’t know what for, until I started playing guitar again. After that, I knew I wanted to go back to school. But since I was older, I needed a written recommendation to apply, so I reached out to Jason on a whim, not expecting him to respond.”

“That’s how you got in?”

Miles laughed. “Not quite. Jason called me one day and put me through the wringer a bit. I guess I deserved it. But after that conversation, he agreed to write a recommendation and even call the department chair at the school I was applying to. I think he always hoped that I’d turn my life around.”

“That’s remarkable, Miles.”

“It wasn’t easy, but it got easier after that. Jason helped me through it, taking early morning phone calls to talk me through some of my assignments and give me encouragement when I needed it, which was often. He’s the reason I pursued a degree in music education after all. I owe so much to him.”

Now it all made sense. Jason must have asked him to take over once he retired and Miles couldn’t turn him down after all he’d done for him. That had to have been why he moved back to Riverbend. Jason saw the potential in Miles. No way he would have turned the reins over to someone he didn’t have full confidence in.

“I’m sure he’s just as grateful for you. I don’t think Mr. Fedema would have let just anyone lead his band. You must be quite the instructor, Mr. Greene,” she teased, playfully running her hand down his torso.

“I could show you if you’d like,” he growled, cupping her breast as he wrapped his leg around her. Jules certainly wanted to be taught.

***

Early the next morning, just as the sun rose over the treetops, Miles dropped Jules back at the house and she tiptoed inside, hoping not to wake her grandma before she could change and claim probable deniability that she’d stayed over at Miles’. Although she didn’t feel guilty about it, she also didn’t feel like discussing her sex life with her grandma, especially because it felt like so much more than just sex.As she climbed the stairs, a stupid grin plastered on her face, she reminded herself to take it slow. This was no time to get wrapped up in anything serious.Don’t catch feelings,she reminded herself.

She quickly changed out of her clothes from last night, throwing on an easy yellow sundress that made her feel like she should frolic in a field. It matched the way she felt inside. Making her way back down to the kitchen for coffee, she knew she was a fool for thinking she could get anything past Grandma Rosa, who sat there with a smug smile.

“Have fun?”

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