Page 32 of Bodied

The office was familiar to Lauren, but not so familiar that she felt at home here. She wasn’t that kid whose mom brought her to the office every day. For the most part, she had spent her afternoons home alone, watching movies and daydreaming by herself. It was one of the things that had gotten her interested in acting and the filmmaking industry in general. So, even though the office belonged to her mom, it felt intimidating to walk into it. Lauren had these memories where everything was larger than life, all the furniture, the people, and the colors were glaring. The truth was the place was a normal office with a neutral, pinkish color palette, but her vague childhood memories still lingered.

She approached the desk where her mom’s assistant sat reading a magazine. “Ahem.”

Maria glanced up and dropped the magazine under the desk when she saw Lauren. “Oh, hello, Ms. Bartlett. How can I help you?”

The woman looked younger than Lauren would have guessed, like she was fresh out of college, still looking for a foot in the door. Lauren felt bad for having been short with her on the phone before. “Is my mom still insisting on not being disturbed?” she asked.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Maria answered.

“That’s too bad.” Without another word, Lauren marched past the assistant’s desk and shoved open the door to her mom’s office.

“Hey!” Maria stood and turned, but it was too late. Lauren was already standing in front of her mom’s desk, staring down at the woman with a look that could set the whole office ablaze if she’d been any kind of superhero.

“We need to talk,” Lauren said. “And I don’t care if you’re too busy. You could have taken one of my calls or let me set up an appointment, but you decided to play games and now it’s come to this. So deal with it.”

“Well, I guess that about wraps up this meeting.” Anne stood and gestured for the two men in her office to leave. “I’ll be in touch,” she said. When the men were gone, she turned back to Lauren. “What the hell, Lauren?” she snapped. “This is incredibly unprofessional. I thought I taught you better.”

Lauren clenched her teeth and told herself to keep it together. This was only going to work if she could say her piece without screaming, however much she may want to do exactly that. “The only thing you ever taught me was how to further your career,” Lauren said. “And this isn’t supposed to be professional. It’s personal.” She felt her eyes burn and blinked away her tears. “How could you, Mom? How could you destroymylife for your own gain like this?”

“Don’t be dramatic, Lauren. Your life’s not destroyed. Just delayed a little.”

“Even if that were true, what gives you the right to delay anything? I’m not a prop for your campaign or your political image. I’m my own person with my own dreams, and my mom seems to think it’s the right move to crush all of them. First the audition and now Wesley? Are you planning to take my apartment, too? Want to get me evicted next? Are you going to stop before you’ve taken everything from me?”

Anne left her desk to shut the door. Then she sat and gestured for her daughter to do the same. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s be adults about this.”

“Iambeing an adult about it,” Lauren said, but she sat all the same. “The childish thing to do would be to shut up and obey without questioning you at all.”

“All right. You want to question me? Go right ahead. I’m listening.”

Her mom looking deeply unworried about anything Lauren might say to her was an act Lauren was quite familiar with. No matter what happened, Anne always had to project control, and she did. The act got old after twenty years of seeing it. Lauren wasn’t about to let it intimidate her now.

“First, you sabotaged my audition, something I’ve been working toward for a long time — something I was truly looking forward to, Mom. But at least I had someone to support me, to help me through it. But then you took him, too. I can’t believe you would do something like this to me. And for what? You’ve already been elected. I did what I had to do to get you there. Why can’t you support me the same way I’m supporting you?”

Her mother crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “You’ve done more damage to my career, all by yourself, than I could hope to do to yours in my lifetime.”

“Are you talking about when I was a teenager, acting exactly the way most rebellious teenagers do? That’s bull, and you know it!” Lauren’s heart was racing, her face getting hotter as her anger grew. “All these years later, your career seems to be doing just fine. I barely made a dent in it. And you’ve used the mistakes I made as a teenager to guilt me into falling in line as an adult.

“I felt so bad for causing trouble for you, for endangering your hopes and dreams, that I vowed not to do it again, and I haven’t. I’ve been everything you wanted me to be. I wore the outfits you picked out for me, attended the events you wanted me to attend. I tweaked my personality until it was more palatable to you and your peers. I’ve lost myself in your campaign, and now, all I wanted was to have a couple of my own dreams and maybe even find a little of myself again. But no, you couldn’t even allow that, could you? And that’s how I know this was never an equal relationship between us. It hurt me so much to see you suffer because of my actions, but I’m guessing you don’t feel a damn thing when you do the same to me.”

Anne shook her head. “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you.”

“Great!” Lauren shouted. “Even more lies. You keep going on about thefamily brand, but what is that brand really selling, huh? It’s selling you — your political career, your reputation, your ambitions. It has nothing to do with me, and it never did.” Finally, she decided to bite hard. “I’m beginning to get why Dad made the decision to leave us when he did.”

Her mom shot up at that. “Howdareyou!” She was shaking. Lauren had crossed the one line they both thought she would never cross. Her dad had hurt both of them, and it had always been the tragedy that brought them closer together. They’d gotten through it together, lifted each other out of depression, and given each other someone to talk to when things got too hard to deal with. Lauren missed having that person in her life, but her mom just didn’t seem to be that person anymore.

Anne’s fists were clenched, and her face was turning red. At first, Lauren thought she was about to scream. But when her eyes welled up, Lauren realized she’d said something that really hurt her mom this time.

Lauren suddenly felt terrible, and then she was angry that she felt terrible. Her mom had messed with her careerandher love life — every good thing she had, every prospect, every hope.

“You know what?” Lauren said. “I’m not going to be around for your political events or campaigns from here on out. So just, eliminate me from thefamily brandaltogether, okay? I don’t want to be part of it anymore. I want my goddamned life back.”

She turned on her heel and stormed out. It felt like severing the last lifeline she had, the last connection to her childhood. But if she had to make that sacrifice to save her future, then she would. That her mom would even make this a choice Lauren had to make infuriated her. She got outside and leaned back against the building, realizing that, in her haste, she’d failed to contact Ben for a ride. She quickly texted him and then leaned against the building to wait.

After a minute or two, she started to sniff. The last thing Lauren wanted to do was cry in public, but her brain seemed to have other ideas. She was glad she’d managed to stand up for herself for once, though it felt like burning all her bridges in just a few bitter words. She pulled her sleeve across her eyes to dry her tears and texted her friend Jesse. It would be good to talk to someone right now, but he wasn’t texting back. Probably, he was busy at work or something. So, Lauren took a deep breath and focused all her attention on the cars that passed by. She counted the green ones and then the electric ones to distract herself from how absolutely awful she felt.

By the time she got to counting the red cars, a black one pulled up alongside the building and the door opened. Lauren approached, assuming it was Ben, but when she ducked her head to see the driver, she was shocked to find Wesley staring back at her.

“Get in,” he said. His tone left no room for questions or doubt.

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