Page 161 of Seer Prophet

“I’ll go see Yumi.” His voice coaxed my light, pulling on me. “I’m agreeing to your compromise, wife. In full. And I’m apologizing.”

I swallowed.

I felt the pain worsen in his light, and a part of me flinched.

MaybeIwas the one who needed to see Yumi.

Clearly he wasn’t the only one with issues in this area. The difference was, I understood my husband’s issues, mostly. I at least knew where they came from. His wants and fears made sense to me, as did the pulls in his light around what he was asking of me now.

My own crap, I had a harder time pinning down.

“I know why,” he said, soft.

I looked up. Biting my lip, I glanced at the blank wall, which used to be the only way we could spend time with our daughter.

Thinking about her, my chest hurt.

“Actually. I kind of want to go see Lily.” Seeing Revik’s eyes soften, I looked away, wiping my eyes, even as I felt a flush of guilt. I was avoiding. I knew I was avoiding, even though I was telling the truth, too. “I feel like I’ve barely seen her lately.”

He clicked at me softly, but there was no anger in it that time.

“Do you want me to go with you?” he asked, softer.

I thought about that, and nodded.

“Yes. If you want. Unless you’re busy.”

“Not in the slightest,” he said.

Something about the way he said it made me relax for real.

His eyes continued to watch my face carefully, though.

“So you don’t want to play, then?” he asked. “Now, I mean.”

I looked at him, feeling myself tense, even as that want strengthened in both of our lights. Another flush of pain and images flickered across the surface of hisaleimi.

“Allie.” He hesitated. Then, as if making up his mind, he sent me a pulse of warmth. “Allie, I know why. I really do. But you don’t need to worry about that. I promise you.”

Feeling what he meant, I frowned, staring at the floor.

He’d picked up on something I’d totally missed.

I wasn’t afraid of hurting him.

Well, I wasn’tonlyafraid of that.

I was afraid I wouldn’t do it right, that I’d make an ass out of myself in front of him.

I knew he’d paid women to do this to him.

Those seers he paid knew what they were doing, what he wanted. They wouldn’t have hesitated, or held back. I knew there’d probably been males as well as females. I knew that even more now, after seeing him with Dalejem the night before, but I guess I’d always known. I knew some of them must have been human, as well as seer.

I didn’t want to be measured against them. I didn’t want to be another person in his long list of people who’d gotten him off this way.

He smiled. I hadn’t looked up yet, but I felt it.

“Allie,” he said. “You have to know how completely different it is with you.”

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