Page 92 of A Duchess Disciplined

William forced a smile. His mind wandered to Catherine, who had started their shared meals. Hannah and Hester doubtlessly knew that Catherine had left, but he did not know if his sisters were aware of why she had gone. Had Catherine even bid them farewell?

He took a sip of coffee, hoping that the strong drink would cut through the fog of his thoughts, which had descended upon him after Catherine left. William ate a spoonful of eggs next. He ate only because he knew that he must; he barely tasted the food at all.

“May we…ask a question?” Hannah asked hesitantly.

A sense of foreboding twisted in William’s gut. This question was not going to be a welcome one. “Of course,” he said. “What do you want to know?”

Hannah and Hester exchanged anxious glances, as if trying to silently determine who would be the one to make their query. After a heartbeat, Hannah took a deep breath and tipped her chin up. It was a gesture clearly mimicking Catherine’s mannerisms, and his heart clenched seeing it.

“We were wondering why Her Grace left,” Hannah said. “Hester and I have been talking about it, and we wondered if…if she might have left because…”

“Because of us!” Hester blurted out.

Horror swept over William and chilled him to the bone. “No, no! It is not your fault, not even a little bit! I made a mistake, and that is why Catherine had to leave.”

“What mistake?” Hannah asked.

“Can it be fixed?” Hester inquired.

“No,” William said. “I made the mistake of becoming close to Catherine. I cannot do that, so I had to put everything right. In doing so, I hurt Catherine. She needs some time away from the estate to think about everything.”

Hester furrowed her brow, and Hannah bit her lip. “Why can you not make it right?” Hannah asked.

“Why can you not love Her Grace?” Hester asked. “She is so beautiful and kind and gracious!”

“We are fond of her,” Hannah said. “We are close to her. Is that bad?”

“No,” William replied. “It is not bad that you like Catherine. Not at all!”

“Well, that is good,” Hester said, sounding uncertain.

Hannah nodded. “I…I miss her greatly. I have not felt close to anyone since Mother died. Not besides Catherine.”

Hester sniffed and delicately dabbed at her eyes. “And you,” she said. “I have felt closer toyousince Her Grace came into our lives.”

William laughed, at a loss for words. The guilt might eat him alive. He stood slowly and leaned over the table, so he could ruffle his sisters’ hair. “You are both wonderful sisters. No man could possibly ask for better.”

He had never ruffled their hair before, and he delighted in how his sisters’ faces brightened. William took a deep breath and tried to force himself to be steady.

He needed Catherine. She had brought a light into this place, and now, that light was gone.

“Will she be back?” Hannah asked.

“Yes,” William said. “Catherine will not be away forever. She is staying with her family for just a few weeks. Then, she will return to us.”

“That is good,” Hester replied, sighing in relief.

“Yes,” William said.

A tremor of doubt shot like lightning through him.Take your timewas what he had said to Catherine as she left. What if shedidchoose to take her time? What if she never returned at all?

“Are you certain that you cannot be close to her?” Hannah asked.

“Yes!” Hester exclaimed. “Why can we be close to her, but you cannot?”

William shook his head. “It is difficult to explain,” he said. “It is a matter between two married people and something that you will both understand when you are much older.”

“We can understand now!” Hester exclaimed, her eyes widening. “Please, tell us!”

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