Page 12 of Bound By her Earl

But then he blinked, and she blinked, and the severing of that hypnotic gaze was enough that she could gather a smidgen of her composure. She realized, abstractly, that she had only moments before her mortification caught up with her, so she hastily got her feet underneath her, tore herself out of the Earl’s grasp, and—it was cowardly, she knew—refused to so much as glance at her friends.

“I must find my sisters,” she said stiffly. “If you all will excuse me. Good evening.”

And then she fled.

CHAPTER 4

The fury was coming off Amanda in waves, choking the air in the carriage. Rose’s disapproval was only slightly less palpable.

Emily swallowed against the apology that wanted to jump to her lips for the dozenth time since they’d started for home. She wasn’t sorry. If she was sorry for protecting Amanda tonight, then she’d have to be sorry for a thousand other things.

For delaying her debut to care for her sisters. For taking charge of their educations from childhood. For trying to mother them, as best she knew how, because Emily, at least, had gotten to know their mother for a little while—something the twins had been denied.

She would not apologize, not for any of it.

So even as Amanda crossed her arms so tightly under her bosom that it looked physically uncomfortable, Emily bit her tongue. She waited.

She did not have to wait long as it happened.

“I don’t knowwhyyou were so dreadful tonight, Emily!” Amanda exclaimed less than five minutes into their ride through Mayfair. “I wasn’t even being improper!”

Emily inhaled sharply. She hadn’t considered that Amanda thought herself to be the problem.

“No, sweet, you were lovely,” she said soothingly, deciding that now was not the moment to discuss the frog.

“Then why did you have to embarrass me like that?” Amanda all but wailed.

Emily clenched her jaw.

“Because I don’t want you affiliating with unsuitable gentlemen,” she explained as patiently as she could. “One’s debut Season is a serious business?—”

“Serious business!” Amanda scoffed. “Goodness, listen to you! I know you think you’re some sort of matronly figure, but might I remind you that you are only two and twenty, Emily!”

In conversations like these, Emily didn’tfeeltwo and twenty. Though she supposed that was precisely what Amanda was lamenting. That was one way she could connect to her sisters, she thought mirthlessly, though it was little balm when she so often felt so, so disconnected from them.

She hoped her frustration didn’t show as she responded. “Yes, but dancing and courtships lead to marriage?—”

“Marriage!” Amanda cut her off again, her voice high and scornful. “Emily, tonight was mysecond ball ever. Do you really think I’m looking tomarryalready?”

“Ah,” Emily said. She had, rather, thought that.

This was another moment where she felt the divide between herself and her sisters was vast, oceanic, continental. Amanda and Rose lived among the stars while Emily remained chained to the ground.

Because, from her very first ball, held a year after she rightfully should have debuted, Emily had been singularly focused on finding a match, not because she was particularly enamored of matrimony as a concept but because she wanted to serve as chaperone to her sisters.

She’d failed at that, of course, so perhaps there was some merit to Amanda’s stance.

Not as pertained to the Earl of Moore, obviously—he still was clearly not worthy of Emily’s little sister—but generally speaking.

Emily’s pause must have gone on too long because Amanda gave a derisive snort. They were nearing Drowton House now, the London home of Lord Drowton and his daughters, and Emily couldn’t tell if this was a good thing or a bad one. On one hand, this was as unpleasant a carriage ride as she’d ever taken. On the other, once they arrived at home, she’d lose the opportunity to have her sisters as a captive audience.

“You did think that!” Amanda was saying in a huff. She turned to Rose. “Can youbelievethis?”

Rose frowned, and it was something of a relief that Emily could see her inner struggle—she did still know her sisters, after all. Rose didn’t want to quarrel with Emily, not when they’d already argued and made up earlier in the evening…but she agreed with Amanda. That much was clear.

“I don’t think there’s any real reason to rush…” she said carefully. Amanda jerked up her chin and shot Emily a triumphant look.

“I’m not saying there is,” Emily returned, spreading her hands plaintively. “I just want you to understand that dancing with a gentleman is one thing; having him come to call upon you is another thing entirely. It suggests things. It will generate talk.” They were pulling up in front of Drowton House now. Emily could hear the low murmur of the grooms who approached tosettle the horses in for the night. “And you do not want your name being bandied about with that of the Earl of Moore. He isnotgoing to call upon you.”

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