Page 12 of Older Cowboy

“That’s all I have time for,” she half-yelled, but her dad continued his argument.

“And when you do have more time? What then?”

But this conversation was over. She was making certain of it. “I have to go. Goodnight.”

They said something about loving her, and she said it back. But she was no longer focused on them. She couldn’t be. Erika felt too upset. Too stunned. She hopped in her car and drove home, the entire way hearing one phrase over and over again.

“Blake’s been gone for sixteen. Sixteen years, Erika.”

Sixteen years. Her husband had died sixteen years ago. Was that right? It didn’t seem possible. Yet as she tallied up the time, there was no escaping the veracity of those words, of the correctness of the calculation.

Erika thought of this nonstop as she motored her way through town depending mostly on muscle memory. Losing Blake had been the most horrible thing in her life, the worst thing she’d ever suffered. Much of the time when she reflected on it, it felt like it’d happened yesterday.

But sometimes it felt like it’d been much longer. Likely because it really had been much longer.

Much, much longer.

Over a decade and a half. Some miniscule part of her psyche comprehended that fixating on someone she’d lost so long ago might not be what was best for her, but she didn’t know how not to do it. Or if releasing him—forgetting about him—would ever feel right.

She had promised to love and cherish the man for eternity, after all. Even if she’d made those vows in a cheesy chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada. They still held true, right? They still mattered.

Blake still mattered. And he always would.

CHAPTERSIX

When the nextday came and went with no response to the birthday card he sent Erika, Cody didn’t sweat it. And that was despite the fact that he’d signed it and left his number at the bottom. He could be patient.

It was only after a week had gone by that he knew he had a decision to make. This was a crossroads he’d arrived at before when pursuing a woman to date. He could either let this go without another word, or he could make it clear to her that he remained interested.

Cody chose to do the latter.

Not that he would normally chase a woman who’d told him no. Cody would never want to come off as creepy or worse. Yet the way she’d smiled at him as she’d declined his invitation to go out had seemed… not unsure exactly, but Erika’s expression and light tone had contradicted her words.

He kept reminding himself that her words were the bottom line. He decided he had to try one more time and he prayed this next try to show her he’s a nice guy wouldn’t be too much.

So he sent her another card. Not a birthday card. No, that would be weird and he was skirting weird as it was. This was just a simple, regular generic greeting card. It had a smiling calf on the front that said,Hope you’re having a great day.On the inside, he simply wrote his name and number.

Another week passed with another similar result. He could let it go, but some impulse in his gut had him wondering if she’d received either of his cards in the place. So once at work, he approached Zeke.

“Hey, man, can I ask you a favor?”

The Feed Manager tensed, “What sort of favor?”

“Could you ask your wife if the cards I’ve been sending to Erika at the pediatrician’s office have been delivered?”

All Zeke’s tension evaporated. “You’ve been sending Erika cards?”

“Yes.”

The Feed Manager’s eyebrows winged up. “You should know that she doesn’t date much. And honestly, that sounds a little stalker-ish.” He recognized the warning. Not a protective type of warning but the brutally candid kind. Seemed Zeke didn’t expect Erika to react well to his inquiries.

“I understand, but I need to know if she’s getting the cards at all. If so, then I know what to do from there.” He couldn’t say why he felt so compelled to double check, but he did. It might seem silly, but there was something about Erika he didn’t feel ready to ignore out of hand. But if she was getting his cards, he needed to get the message that she wasn’t interested and leave the girl alone.

“I’ll check.”

The next day, Zeke was the one who approached Cody. “Callie said there were two cards propped up next to her computer. One with birthday greetings and one with a grinning calf.” Immediately, Cody sighed in relief and smiled to himself. All hope wasn’t lost then. “I take it those cards were from you.”

“They were from me,” Cody told him, happily slapping him on the back. “Thanks, man.”

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