Page 98 of Between Us

As soon as I got back in my car, I texted Adrian and told him I needed a raincheck. He quickly replied and asked if I decided to go to Phoenix with my parents after all. He hasn’t replied since I told him I was home, but not feeling good.

He’s never gotten mad about things like this, so I’m doing my best to remind myself of that. Except it’s been about three hours now. He usually gets home from classes about an hour ago and doesn’t typically work on Mondays.

Dropping my phone next to me on the couch, I curl into a ball and focus on my breathing. The longer I do, the more tears begin to fall. I don’t fight them, knowing it will only make the drowning feeling linger.

Turning onto my back and laying like that for a few minutes, my heart begins to slow, and the tears do too.

As I make a plan for myself—order food and take a shower—I almost burst out in a fresh wave of tears when even doingthatfeels like too much. A knock on the door distracts me enough to keep those feelings temporarily at bay.

Slowly, I walk to the door and peek through the peephole. I’m not surprised when the slightly distorted sight breaks the final constraint on my emotions.

Swinging the door open, I lamely greet Adrian through tears. “Hi.”

His face breaks, looking closer than I’ve ever seen to tears himself. With the hand not holding a bag of food, he wraps an arm around my waist and steps closer. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“I—I just…” I hiccup. Embarrassment is quickly mixing with my anxiety, and it all blurts out. “I thought I’d feel happier after everything—and Iam—I’m just so tired too. Then my brother called because he’s having ababy. Well…heisn’t having a baby, but you know what I mean. My brother is becoming adad. There are so many ‘what the fucks’ in that I don’t even know where to start. Plus, my friends won’t stop texting me. It’s all too muchright now.

“And… and…youdidn’t text me back,” I sputter and cover my face with my hands. “I’m sorry I cancelled on dinn—”

“Nope,” he cuts in and gives me a quick peck to ensure I stop talking. “You don’t apologize for that. If you need space, then you need space. It’s okay,butyou did promise to tell me next time.”

My mouth falls open. “Oh, I—”

“Shut up, Blake.” That does the trick. He sounds as gentle as when he calls me ‘pretty girl,’ though he usually coddles me more. And honestly, I kind of like that he isn’t. “I’m not mad. I’m concerned that you’ve been feeling like this all day and haven’t talked to anyone.”

“I had a session with Catalina,” I admit.

“Good, that’s something.” He sounds genuine so I chance looking up at him. “Do you want me to leave?”

I shake my head and wrap my arms around his waist. “I thought I wanted to be alone. I was feeling so overwhelmed earlier, and you wanted to celebrate.”

The hand wrapped around me leaves my shoulders, and tangles it into my hair, tilting my head back so I’m looking up at him. “It’s not the celebration part of it I care about. It’s making you know how loved you are.” I nod, biting my lip to fight more tears. His thumb gently pulls it free and rubs the raw skin. “What do you need right now?”

“I was going to take a shower,” I quietly tell him. “Ordering food and taking a shower just felt like a lot.”

He nods, seeming to understand even though he doesn’t experience anxiety to the depth I do. Lifting the bag of food, clearly from The Loop, he states, “Already have that first part covered. Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll get this ready?”

Taking a step back, I look down the hallway and nod. It feels mechanical and too fast. When I look back at Adrian, he’s watching me, and I know it didn’t look natural to him either.

“Go turn the water on and I’ll meet you in the bathroom, okay?” He nods to the bag, letting me know he needs to do something with that first.

“Okay,” I exhale. This time, when I turn in that direction, my feet actually move.

True to his word, Adrian walks into the small room less than two minutes later. He doesn’t try to force me to talk or ask questions, instead rambling about his day and classes. He talks the entire time we’re getting undressed and the quick shower we take together.

When we finish, I get my laptop and crawl into bed. As he brings our food to bed, I’m turning on a random episode ofNew Girl.

He takes in the room, his eyes lingering on some of the decor like the collage of photos of my friends and me, or the faint light of the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. He doesn’t let himself get too caught up in that right now, choosing to come to the bed, and me.

It’s the most settled I’ve felt since waking up in his bed yesterday, and before I know it, two hours have passed.

The only thing that pulls my attention away from the show is my buzzing phone.

“Oh my God,” I gasp when I see Grady’s name on the screen. With fresh, happier tears, I answer the FaceTime call.

As soon as it connects, Grady pulls the camera back to show him holding a tiny baby girl. “Hey, kid. Stella needed to meet her aunt.”

“Stella?” I breathe out, taking in her small, rosy features. It was one of the names he had mentioned they liked but weren’t deciding until she was born.

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