Page 52 of Between Us

Her mouth pops open, yet even through her surprise, I sense a small spark of pride. She’s always encouraging me to be more open about my experiences and reminding me that I have no reason to be embarrassed by other people’s actions toward me.

I haven’t told anyone about the events of my life since Sunday morning, so it feels good to get it off my chest.

“Why don’t we start from the beginning?” she slowly asks.

With a long, drawn-out breath I unpack the events of that weekend. I tell her about walking into the clinic to find Polly sitting alone. Benji’s surgery and how we may have turned over a new leaf. “Okay, maybe not a leaf? More like a single blade of grass,” I insist, making Catalina laugh. She knows all about my feud with Polly—it might even be one of her favorite things to talk about.

I surprise myself by telling Catalina every detail of the evening. From Adrian asking me to dinner and the moment I found Adrian in my kitchen talking to my mom, to meeting his grammy and how we slowly began to open up to each other.

“It wasn’t until we were on the way home that it all imploded. He stopped to get gas, and I stupidly went inside for a water.” I shake my head. “I didn’t even notice them until I practically ran right into Morgan. And I just… froze.”

“That’s understandable, Blake.” She leans forward, trying to catch my gaze, but I can’t make myself look. “Was Adrian with you?”

“No.” I shake my head again. “He waited outside and didn’t push the subject, which I appreciated. Except when we got back to my house, I broke down on the front lawn.”

Her brows scrunch in concern, and before she has to ask, I tell her about that too. I wasn’t even mad at Adrian. He clearly hadn’t done anything other than try to be there for me. It’s just that everything was bubbling inside me like a pressure cooker. I needed to get it out, and had planned to do that in my room, alone.

But even just those extra two seconds of shock were two seconds too many. I couldn’t hold it back anymore, and Adrian put himself in the wake of it.

“It was an already stressful day, Blake. And I can only imagine how it felt to run into your old classmates, especially in such a random setting. It’s okay to give yourself some grace.”

“I mean…” I shrug, kind of unsure. “I know that, but he didn’t deserve it.”

“You’re right,” she agrees, “he didn’t. It’s good you realize that,andthat you’re sitting here reflecting on your reaction. Sometimes, we take out our hurt and fears on the people we feel the closest to because we trust them not to leave. So, I’m not condoning your actions, but hopefully I’m putting them into perspective for you.”

“I hear you, I really do. And he’s been great. More than great, or anything I could have ever expected. He held me while I cried on my lawn and told me I was safe.And what’s even crazier? I believe him, Catalina.”

She smiles, and it’s so genuine it actually hurts my heart. “That’s a huge step for you, Blake.”

I nod as tears brim my eyes. “I know. And then he held me while I told him about everything—from the stupid sleepover to the pictures.”

“Then he kissed you?” she offers in a gentle tone, but the curiosity is clear.

Suddenly, the tears turn into sobs. “Yes,then he kissed me.”

The last hint of playfulness has left her features as she leans forward and asks in a somber voice, “What’s going on, Blake?”

“I just suddenly feel so…lonely. I don’t have anyone to talk about this stuff with.”

“You don’t?” she questions in a way that alludes to it being a trick. Instead of answering, I cautiously try to catch my breath and see where she’s going with this. “Because I can think of three people who would love that phone call.”

Scrunching my face, I turn away.

“Margo and Meera would love to hear about who the guy from the grocery storehas turned out to be. And I know it’s hard to believe sometimes, but your brotherlovesyou, Blake.”

I roll my eyes—snarkier than I mean for—but it’s a genuinely touchy subject for me.

“I know he objectively loves me. I mean, obviously, I’m his sister. Yet he never tells me things. He hasn’t wanted to be closer ever since he moved.”

She tilts her head back and forth, seeming to think through her words. “I think Grady’s problem is that he doesn’t want his baby sister to fix his problems or see him asless than.”

I scoff in offense. “I’d never.”

“I believe you, butmaybethat’s howhefeels.”

I purse my lips, understanding what she’s saying. Maybe my brother’s brain lacks rationality too, just in different ways.

“I think your big brother, whocriedwith you when you were going through all of that, would want to know thatyoustill know you can come to him. Maybe that’s the middle ground with Grady right now.”

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