Page 129 of Always Been Yours

“I want them to be a part of everything, even if we’re apart.”

“They will be. We’ll make sure of it.”

“Can we plan? For the next few months? I have my next tour dates already… I just need to know when I can see them.”

“Yes, Arielle. I think that’s a great idea.” Holding her hand, I lift her off the chair and wrap my arms around her shoulders. Hers tentatively wraps hers around my chest as she cries into my shirt.

“I just miss them so much, Grady. Itphysicallyhurts.”

Rubbing her back, I nod not knowing what to say. I was going crazy when they were gone for less than a week—I can’t imagine what Arielle deals with on a daily basis, but I see what the girls feel every day. And I don’t want any of them to hurt. So, I unwrap myself from Arielle and guide her to the island where we sit for the next two hours—planning out the next six months of visits, coming up with weekly FaceTime schedules and trying to figure out how to better co-parent despite the distance.

The hollow feeling in my chest doesn’t leave but the hundred-pound weight on my shoulders finally feels like it’s been lifted.

Chapter Forty-Seven

Grady

“You know, I’ve never seen you act like such a surly fuck before.” Knox takes a seat next to me in the cafeteria. It’s become the pseudo-warehouse for all the fundraiser materials and booths. Ours is one of the last that need to be built but I wanted to wait until Hudson had an afternoon free. Not only is he the most talented out of the three of us, but I wanted the guys to get to know their infield assistant coach.

Johnny, Lexi’s little brother, came up with the idea to do darts but instead of a board, we’re using balloons filled with paint. He said he got the idea from all the times Lexi has made him watchThe Princess Diaries, which made me laugh at the time.

In the last week I haven’t wanted to laugh at anything though. I feel numb without talking to Vivi. I don’t know how I did this for a decade, but it feels impossible now. The only thing that brings me any peace is my daughters, so I’ve spent the last hour watching them fill up balloons with Jeremy and some of the other guys.

Not having anything to say to Knox, I just shrug. He’s right. I’m not usually this prickly. I’m acting like Hudson, and even he’s put his grumpy attitude on hold while he works with the kids. I’d belying if I said I haven’t noticed how most of them are trying to ignore me as much as possible. Nor do I blame them.

He punches me on the arm. Actually, punches me, not playfully. He means it. Rubbing my arm, I look at him. “What the fuck?”

His eyes widen in surprise. “I’ve never heard you cuss before. You must be upset.”

“Shut up, Knox. Just get whatever you want to say off your chest. I don’t have the mental capacity for your typical repertoire today.”

He covers the hurt on his face quickly but not before I see it.

Goddammit. I really am acting like a douche, but I can’t help it. I only have enough niceness to extend toward my daughters right now, and even that leaves me exhausted in a different way every night. It isn’t fair to them.

And that’s what it really comes down to; it isn’t fair tothem.

Things don’t work out with their mom, they get stuck with me, I move them to a new city, I bring all of these people into their lives only to mess it up with the most important one.

They’re still on the high from seeing their mom but I know it’s coming to an end soon. They’re going to ask about Vivi, and I have no idea what to tell them.

Knox doesn’t bother responding, he just sits back watching Hudson wander over. This is a worse option.

“What’s up?” He grumbles as he drops into the seat next to me.

“I was just letting G know that he’s acting like a surly fuck.”

I roll my eyes and lean back in my chair.

“He used to get like this sometimes, on the rare occasions that Vivi was mad at him, or when she’d bring her ex around the families.”

Dropping my head into my hands, I ask, “Can we not mentionhimright now?”

Hudson chuckles, always finding humor in other people’s misery. “You’re lucky I’m here, or that we showed up to the party the other day. Calypso’s threatened to castrate both of us more than once.”

“That’s just great,” I mumble. “And Viv? Is she also threatening bodily harm?”

He gives me a long look, probably not sure how much he wants to tell me. “No, that’s not her style and you know it. She hasn’t really been talking to anyone, though. Lexi told Asher she’s started to lock the garage door. They never do that.”

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