Page 120 of Always Been Yours

Vivi pushes off the counter across from the island and walks forward. “Good morning.” She gives them a soft smile and takes another sip of her coffee. Daisy replies quietly but Stella gives a small wave. My eyes meet hers, preparing for a change of heart. She looks back down to them. “Do you still want to have breakfast?”

Stella and Daisy’s heads slowly turn toward each other. Sometimes they do this when they’ve already talked through their plans of attack but want to make sure neither has changed their mind. I tense, not knowing what they’ve agreed to.

Turning back to Vivi, Stella takes a deep breath and nods her head. “Yeah, we were hoping you like strawberry pancakes. Dad makes the best ones.” My shoulders drop with relief. Vivi looks surprised but gives them her prettiest smile anyway.

”Ilovestrawberry pancakes.“ She crosses her arms and leans forward on the island. “I was just telling your dad I was in the mood for bacon too. What do you think?”

“Oooh, yes!” Daisy exclaims, wiggling in her seat. “Can I have juice?”

“Sure,” I rub her head. “What kind would you like?”

“Apple, please.”

“Can I have pineapple?” Stella asks.

Nodding, I move toward the fridge, but Vivi beats me to it. She grabs each bottle, two small cups and straws. The way she so naturally inserts herself into our morning makes my heart ache. She sets them on the counter and points toward the wall of shelves. “Is that another speaker? Can I play music?”

“Go ahead. I’ll start the food.” She nods and pulls her phone out. As I’m setting everything up on the counter, I glance over at her. She’s biting her bottom lip with furrowed brows. She looks like choosing the right music forthis moment is the most important decision of her day.

“You may have heard some of this at your grandma’s. She and my mom have always listened to music when they’re cooking.” Elton John’s familiar voice pours from the speakers. She turns back to me. “How can I help?”

“Do you want to cut the strawberries? I can start on the bacon.”

She nods and sets up the cutting board on the counter.

Vivi is a morning person if I’ve ever seen one. She’s humming along to the music, slightly swaying back and forth to the tune. I’m behind her at the stove, so I can’t be sure, but I would betmy entire baseball card collection that she has a small smile on her face. And when I glance back, Stella and Daisy are watching her with a quiet curiosity.

With my focus on the bacon, I ask, “Is this still one of your mom’s favorite songs?”

“Yeah,” Vivi answers. This time Iknowshe’s smiling. “I don’t remember but my dad used to listen to “Your Song”every weekend while cooking for us, just like this.“ She chuckles.

“We’ve never met your dad,” Daisy says.

I turn my head, trying to gauge Vivi’s reaction from the back.

“Oh, no. Uhm. You haven’t.” She looks back to me, a silent question in her eyes. I know some parents try to shield their kids from death, and I respect their decisions, but I think it’s okay for mine to understand the reality of life. I nod and face the stove again. “My dad passed away when I was only four.”

“What happened?” Stella asks.

“He was in a car accident coming home from work.”

Daisy speaks after a few seconds. “Do you miss him?”

I hear Vivi set the knife down. Peeking at her, I see her lean forward on the counter again. “Yeah,” she says quietly. “I do miss him. I don’t have a lot of memories of him. He used to drive me around at night when I couldn’t sleep and he always smelled like the ocean, even though he worked in a hospital. And any morning he didn’t have to be there until a little bit later, he would hold me on his lap and watch The Wiggles with me.”

“I love The Wiggles!”

Vivi laughs, probably startled by the sudden excitement. “I used to love them too. But the people were different when I was younger.”

“Well, you can come watch The Wiggles with me anytime you want. Daddy will even cook for you and listen to music. Right,Dad?”

Smiling at her over my shoulder, “That’s right, Dais.”

The sound of chopping starts up again. “Thanks, little lady. I’ll definitely take you up on that offer.”

The girls ramble on while they sit at the island while we cook, requesting songs that now remind them of their grandma and Bonnie like “Dancing Queen”or “Come On Eileen.”When the latter comes on, Daisy jumps out of her stool and rounds the island to grab Vivi’s hand. She twirls herself under her arm and goofily shakes her hips, giving Vivi questioning, unsure eyes the entire time. Within seconds Vivi to start moving her hips along with the music and singing with her head thrown back.

Stella watches from her seat, and even though I can see the longing in her eyes, she doesn’t get out of her seat. I wink at her before turning back to the pancakes cooking.

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