Page 105 of Always Been Yours

I had promised to take Vivi to dinner tonight since the girls had asked to spend time with Blake, but I sent her a text earlier asking if we could reschedule. I didn’t go into details about it, just saying that I feel like it’s important to spend time with the girls right now. Vivi sent back a quickokay, not giving me any indication where her head was.

Until she found me in my classroom at lunch. Already having plans to eat with Knox in his room today,Vivi just stopped in for a couple minutes.

When she asked if everything was okay, I was honest with her about the change in behaviors with my daughters the last few days. She nodded in understanding and was quiet for a moment. She eventually told me that she saw Stella in the hallway yesterday. Vivi waved and said hello, but Stella just kept walking. Her little friend Mary asked if she was going to say hi and Stella apparently said ‘no, I don’t know her‘.Mary was in Vivi’s classlast year, so she turned and gave her a shy greeting.

She wasn’t mad at Stella. She didn’t even appear to be hurt by Stella’s cold shoulder but, her words have been playing through my head all afternoon.

“We can reschedule dinner.” Vivi lifted off the desk she was leaning on and took a step toward me. “You should talk to your daughters. I… I didn’t think about how keeping us a secret would start to cause problems. If anything, I was trying to avoid that from happening. Spend time with them tonight, talk to them and figure out what they’re okay with. You’ve been patient with me. I can be patient with them.”

My heart expanded ten sizes at the sincerity and promise in her words. “Thank you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully express my appreciation for you.”

She gave me a cute smile. “You do all the time.”

Before she could walk out, I caught her wrist and took a quick peek down the hallway. When it was all clear, I pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. “Tell Knox I said hi.”

“You two are adorable attached at the hip like this.” She laughed but she wasn’t wrong. I’d gotten really close with Knox and Lucas over the last couple of months. Asher and Hudson have joined us for drinks more than a couple times. “Call me later. If you want. It’s okay if not.”

“I’ll call you.”

A few hours later, I’m getting three bowls of ice cream ready. Complete with all the toppings—chocolate, sprinkles, whipped cream and banana slices. I’ll probably regret this tactic in two hours but right now, I’m not above sweetening my daughters up with sugar. It’s going to be a hard conversation for all of us.

I set the bowls in front of the girls as they sit on the stools at the island while I stand on the other side, lookingat them.

Stella gives me a questioning look before picking up her spoon but makes no move to take a scoop. Daisy digs right in, so innocent and naïve of what’s about to come.

“So,” I start slowly, catching how Stella’s entire body goes stiff, “I’ve been meaning to ask you how you felt about Vivi coming to dinner the other night.” Neither of them says anything. Stella stares at me but Daisy’s eyes are glued to her bowl. “Was it bad?”

They both shrug.

“Did something happen to make it a bad time?”

They shake their heads.

“Would you be okay with Vivi coming over for dinner more often?”

They both shrug again.

I take a deep breath, knowing my frustration will not help the situation. Sometimes it feels like a mutiny now that they outnumber me.

“Can either of you please use your words to tell me what you’re thinking?”

Stella twists her lips to the side and looks away. After a few seconds, Daisy says, “I like Vivi coming over. She’s fun. But is she going to be our new mom?”

I shake my head. “No,” I answer quickly. Stella looks back at me. “No one is replacing your mom. Vivi wants to be… your friend.” That seems like a good place to start. “You have a really good mom, who loves you. You don’t need a new one.” Daisy nods but she looks sad swirling her ice cream in the bowl. “Stell?” I try to prompt her to speak.

“Areyoureplacing our mom?“ The question guts me because the honest answer isyes, I am. But is Vivi the replacement? Or were Arielle and I like fitting a round block into a square hole? It fits but that doesn’t mean it matches. All of that’s too complicated forthem to understand though, and none of it’s going to make them feel better.

I lean forward on my hands and give them both long looks. “Your mom is very important to me, and she’s always going to be very important to me. We share the two most precious gifts in this world, and I’ll always be grateful for her. She’ll always have a place in my heart and my life.’ That’s true. “But it’s… different. Your mom and I are friends now. That means we don’t live together, and we don’t kiss each other anymore. One day we’ll do those things with someone else.”

“You already do that with Vivi,” Stella states so plainly. I flinch at her blunt honesty, but the last few days suddenly make more sense.

Nodding I admit, “You’re right. Vivi and I kiss now. One day, in the future, maybe she will live with us but not until you both are okay with that. This isyourhome.Ourhome. Understood?“ They both nod. “Stell, how do you know Vivi and I kiss?”

“Was it a secret?” she retorts.

“Nooo,” I say slowly. I don’t want to teach my daughters to keep secrets. It’ll happen someday, but right now I want them to know they can talk to me about anything. “But I wanted to tell you both myself. Obviously, I was careless. I’m sorry that you didn’t find out from me.”

She looks down and I can see the tears gathering in her eyes. “When you walked her outside after dinner. I was watching through the front window.”

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