Page 84 of Red Obsession

I don’t want to feel.

“Re–”

“Leave!” I scream, my voice cracking, unable to look at him. I can’t see if he’s relieved that he doesn’t have to protect me anymore. “Just leave, leave me. Go!”My tongue darts out to my cracked lips, tasting blood.

I’m crazy, I know this. But I can’t deal with this pain, I can’t handle knowing what he thinks of me now.I’m used. Reaper and Dan got what they wanted. I’m broken and beyond repair. They should have killed me.

I should have died.

The door opens and slams shut.

And I break, crying into my hospital bed. Hating myself for not dying, hating myself for letting Dan kidnap me. And most of all hating myself for falling in love with Zion. I’m not strong enough for him. I’m weak and useless, I hate myself. I’m nothing but a disgusting toy for men to play with.

And now Zion sees that.

I cry so hard I don’t hear the door open or close. It’s not until a familiar body lays next to me that I take my first full breath.

“You kicked him out?” Gabriel asks, running his fingers through my dirty hair.

All I manage is to nod into his chest.My brain thuds against my skull, everything hurting.

“Why?”

“He doesn’t need to see me like this.” I mutter.

Gabriel takes a deep breath before I feel his own tears drop onto me. “I thought we lost you.”

Which only makes me cry harder and causes him to shake, each of us holding onto the other. We cry for ourselves. For our childhood that was ripped away from us, and for the shitty parent we had to escape.

“You’re safe now, you’re safe,” he repeats, coaxing me back to sleep.

Only if he knew I wasn’t. I was never safe again.

“With lots of rest, I suspect you’ll make a full recovery.” Dr. Mills smiles before he leaves the hospital room.

“How long was I gone?” I keep my voice emotionless as I ask Gabriel. Zion hasn’t come back while I’m awake. He thinks I haven’t noticed him lurking in the halls, hiding in the corner of the room while I try to sleep. Only to disappear when I wake up in the morning. I hate him being here, but I can’t hide the fact I secretly love him being close.He makes being here bearable.

Glancing up at Gabriel, he hangs his head, refusing to even look over at me. The thing about Gabriel and I is that we never shy away from telling each other the truth. Sure, I might not indulge in thewholetruth of what happens to me. But this, this is different.

“Gabriel.,” I snap.

His head jerks towards me, tears filling his eyes. “Four days.”

Four days.

I brace my hands on the bedside table, clenching and unclenching my fists. My knuckles bruised, my fingernails are ripped and turning my palms up, burns lay heavy against my fingertips, and my wrists have rope burns around them.

“We have nowhere to go.” I don’t know what causes me to say this. But it’s true. I’m too afraid to ask about Dan or what happened. I’m too scared to ask about Zion and how he survived. I was told they killed him. I never wanted to believe it, but everything has been a blur since I killed that old man.

“What are you talking about?” Gabriel asks, frowning at me.

“We shouldn’t be wasting away in the hospital, Gabby, we need to leave.” I try lifting the blanket off my lap, only the pain in my stomach intensifies.

“Izel, stop. We don’t need to leave; you need to rest and get better…the doctor said to rest and you’ll make a full recovery.”

“We can’t just stay here; we’re sitting ducks, Gabby.”

“What are you talking about?”

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