Page 35 of Instinct & New Identity

“Apparently, your sister feels the need to clean my place and cook special meals in exchange for me letting you both stay here,”Vinceannounced.Ialso noticed the way he emphasized the word special, noting he caught the significance of this particular meal.

“I get it,”Valreplied. “Wedon’t want to be freeloaders.ButIalso hate cleaning, so ifCatwants to do that part,I’mwilling to let her, and so should you.”

Val gave him an exaggerated thumbs up, and he just shook his head in amusement.

“Both of you get something to drink.It’sready,”Itold them, hoping we could move on from this topic.

We enjoyed the meal,Valfilling most of the conversation talking about how much she loved her new job, how much she hated her statistics class, and how she was looking forward to her girls weekend withRuthie,Ellie, and me.

After dinner,IavoidedVincelike the plague.Valoffered to do the dishes sinceIcooked, soIwent back to my room and pretended to sort laundry then finally moved over toVal’sroom to hang out with her.However, ifIwere being honest,Ialso needed her advice.

As soon asIwalked into her room, she stared at me knowingly.Sheclearly suspected something was up and the grin on her face told me she was determined to figure it out.

“Why aren’t you having one of your nightly chats withVince?” she questioned me, crossing her arms. “Isthis related to why you madepastelónor why you hardly looked at him during dinner, instead choosing to stare at your plate like it was the most fascinating thing in the world?”

She narrowed her eyes at me, letting me know she was calling my bluff andIwas not going to walk out of there without explaining myself.

I sighed deeply and sat on the edge of the bed. “Idon’t know what to do,Val.”

“What’s wrong?”Valasked, now with a bit more concern in her voice rather than just simply teasing me.

I knewIcouldn’t hide anything from her.Shewas always too good at reading my mind.DecidingIalso could maybe benefit from her advice,Ilaid it all out there.

“Vince kissed me.”Myvoice sounded stronger than it really was.

“Bout time.”Val’svoice was full of attitude.

I turned to look at her with wide eyes.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.YouknowIdon’t believe in destiny,Cat, because then there is some part of us that has to acceptMomandDadwere supposed to die when they did, andIdon’t like that.Butmaybe destiny is more about giving us a sense of direction and purpose and whether or not we choose to use it.AndmaybeVinceis your destiny.”

“Wow.Whendid you become theDalaiLama?”Iteased her light-heartedly, impressed thatIwas seeing my sister grow up and mature right in front of my eyes.

She shrugged the compliment off, not used to praise from me apparently, andIvowed to give her more of it in the future.

“Well, we had a lot of time on our hands these last few years, andIliked to read,” she defended. “Justsharing the stuffIread from other really smart people, that’s all.”

“You’re smart too, you know that,”IcomplimentedVal, and she blushed a little.

Yeah, definitely going to give her more compliments going forward.

“Whatever.Backto the important stuff.”Sheclapped her hands together, clearly ready to move on. “Tellme everything about the kiss.Wasit awesome?Didit lead to more?”Hereyebrows went up and down as she smiled at me.

“Yes and no,”Iresponded, and immediately she rolled her eyes at my very vague answer.

I sighed and then fell onto my back on the bed.Shecame over and did the same thing next to me.Wehad done this a lot.Therewas something about being able to tell somebody something without looking them in the face that made it easier.ValandIhad had many conversations like this over the years.Topicscovering everything from our parents, new identities, moving to yet another new location, lack of friends, and everything in between.

I gave a happy sigh before breaking down the whole encounter withVince, from the moment he caught me cleaning in the kitchen to the kiss, to my awkward conversation about the woman who showed up at the office claiming to be his girlfriend to more kissing, to my abrupt ending when the oven went off.

Val chuckled beside me. “Andnow you’re avoiding him.Cat, the last three hours of your life have been more like atelenovelaorRealHousewivesepisode.Ilove it.”

My grunt of disapproval was hopefully loud and clear. “Val, because ofWITSECand the fact that we moved so often, we never really did the whole boyfriend scene or even tried making genuine friendships either, soIdon’t really know whatI’mdoing here.Myonly experience is with boys in high school, and trust me whenIsay they weren’t even on the same level asVince.Hell,I’mnot even sure they were on the same planet!”

I may not have been able to seeVal’ssmile, but it could be heard through her voice. “Oh,Ibelieve you.Cat,Iknow we don’t have much experience with guys, but if there was ever a guy you should take that chance on,Iwould think it would beVince.IfIhad a guy like him,Iwould jump at that chance.Whatare you so scared of?”

“I don’t know,”Ianswered honestly.

“I’m going to take a guess that it’s because he already means something to you, and you’re afraid of losing him again,”Valsurmised, andIknew deep down she was right, even ifIdidn’t see it as clearly as she did. “Thedifference here is that we aren’t underWITSECprotection anymore.Evenif we do move to a new apartment, or even decide this city isn’t for us, you can stay in touch this time.Youdon’t have to hide from him.Youguys can email, text,Zoom, whatever.Doit,Cat.Justtake the leap.”

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