Page 39 of Betrayal & New Beginnings

“I have to callArcherreal quick about something,” he said, then circled a few things on each menu.Hetold me to pick whateverIwant and to just order him one of the items he’d circled, depending on which restaurantIpicked.Hethen headed down the hall, andIjust set my bag over on the couch for now sinceIwasn’t sure where to put it.

I figure if he’d wanted bar food, we would have just gotten it from downstairs, soIopted forChinesefood instead.Iplaced our order and got out some plates and silverware from his kitchen to busy myself whileIwaited.Hecame out ten minutes later and asked whatI’dchosen.

“I got usChinese.Itshould be here in another ten minutes,”Itold him.

“Okay, cool.I’llgo downstairs and get it,” he said, but the look on my face must have shown my confusion. “Theycan’t get up here without a key or access code.”

As soon as he said it,Irealized this wasn’t just a normal apartment complex, where you could just buzz people up.

He sat on the couch and grabbed the remote, pulling upNetflix.Ibrought the plates and utensils in with me to set on the coffee table.

After looking through the movies, we picked one we both liked.Hegot it set up and then went downstairs to get the food.Hewas only gone for five minutes, but it felt so much longer, as my brain went through every possible scenario of what could happen tonight.WasIsleeping on the couch?Thebedroom?Wherewas he sleeping?Werewe going to have sex again?Icertainly would like to, butIdidn’t know howWadefelt about it.

Wade came back a few moments later with the food, and we relaxed on the couch.Hiswas much bigger than my brother’s, and we could both spread out with plenty of room, thoughIwasn’t purposely trying to avoid him.Ijust didn’t know what to do or how to play this.

After dinner,Iasked him ifIcould shower quickly before we finished the movie.Ihadn’t planned to, but now realized it would give me a chance to clear my head as well as clean the bar smell off.

I returned to the couch wearing a pair of shorts and a camisole.Wesettled in to finish the movie, and somewhere along the line,Imust have dozed off, becauseIvaguely awakened toWadecarrying me to a bed.Iheard noises behind me and saw the bathroom light go on, butImust have been too exhausted, because moments laterIwas back to sleep and dead to the world.

* * *

I woke to movement and noises.Asmy eyes fluttered open,Irealized the noises and movements were coming fromWade, who was next to me in the bed.Hewas mumbling and his body was twitching, andIrealized he was having another night terror.

I’d tried to read up on night terrors during my break today, and from whatI’dread, it said it was best not to wake them.Justtry to calmly get them back into a normal peaceful sleep.Wakingthem or having physical contact with them, such as restraining their arms or moving them, could often make it worse.Ilay there whispering calming words and trying to coax him back to rest, while keeping an eye on his movements in caseIneeded to adjust my position.

AsIwatched him move and groan,Icouldn’t help but think of my brother and wonder if he had these nightmares as well.LogicallyIknew he probably did sincePTSDwas common in soldiers, but it made me sad thinking about it.Ihoped he was talking to someone about it.Imade a mental note to askWadeabout that later.

At some point, his body relaxed.Duringthe episode, his body had moved so that he was now on his side facing away from me.Itook a chance and gently put my hand on his back, running it softly up and down.Hedidn’t flinch or move, soIkeep rubbing it and speaking softly to him.Herolled over onto his back as he slowly looked at me, his eyes half-mast.

“Why’re you awake?” he asked softly, his voice groggy.

I debated whether or not to tell him the truth, butIknew he needed to know, andIwanted him to understand that he hadn’t hurt me.

“You had another night terror,”Iexplained gently.

His eyes opened fully, and he rolled over to face me as he lifted his hand to my face, then shoulder and arm, as though he was checking me over for marks.

“DidIhurt you?” he asked, his voice strained a bit.

“No,”Itold him. “Theinternet saidIshouldn’t wake you but just talk softly to you and let you fall back into a normal sleep, so that’s whatIdid.Iwas just rubbing your back to test if the episode was done.I’msorry ifIwoke you.”

“The internet told you?” he asked, looking at me funny.

“Yeah.”Istared at him. “Iwanted to know whatIcould do if it happened again.There’sa lot of really good information about night terrors online.”

“AndIdidn’t touch you or hurt you?” he asked, like he was unsure if my process had worked.Heseemed convinced that he must have done something bad.

“No,”Isaid firmly. “Youstarted moving around and making agitated noises, butIscooted back and just started talking softly to you, and eventually your body calmed and you settled back to sleep.”

He stared at me silently, andIcould see the wheels turning in his head.He’dseemed tense sinceI’daccidentally woken him, but now he seemed to relax a bit.

“Come here,” he murmured, pulling me into his front, and rolling me so that we were in a spooning position.

I didn’t quite know what to make of this, butIlet it go for now.Afew minutes later,Ifelt myself dozing back off again, whenIheard him whisper into my hair.

“Thank you.”

I didn’t know if he actually meant for me to hear it or not, soIdidn’t say anything.Ijust let myself drift back off to sleep, but this time with a smile on my face.

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